Thigh? Where is thigh?

[ProjectGainsborough]

I’m so confused.

Advert is airbnb and perfume

And mattresses!!!

It’s the after effects thigh, don’t panic.

Oh, phew, mattresses. That’s better!

Wtf?? I’ve got a lactose intolerance DNA test and make up samples.

I've got an advert for my own island. Result.

I feel sullied by AIBU.

Now I’ve got Oslo. I’ll take that.

Oslo? I've got Aberystwyth. Would prefer an Island 🏝

Thislido i do too, i was injured and crawled there. At least i had the strength to send up a flare.

Thislido why have you got lactose intolerance and DNA testing? It seems like someone is angrily and milkily questioning your origins. That's just rude.

Apparently one’s DNA reveals lactose intolerance. But where’s the sense in that? I didn’t get where I am today without eating cheese.

Thislido well quite. Don't forget butter and it's siblings toffee, fudge, chocolate, cake, biscuits and that wonderful combo - the cheesecake.

Thighland wouldn't exist if i wasn't dairy tolerant.

Hello, your Thighness and thisciples. I have been lurking for quite a while. I am stuck in Trumpland at the moment, but would love to emigrate to the blessed isles of Thighland. I bring doughnuts and ice cream as an offering, but I will not insult you with what they call chocolate over here (and you can’t get proper Easter eggs). I don’t have a slanket or a dog, but I am very good at napping, and I have a cat who is eating his way to lionhood.
I have a problem for you, oh wise ones. I am trying to get divorced, but it involves a) meetings (three in three days) and b) lots of searching for information and paperwork, which is cutting into naptime. How can I streamline the process?

G'day Plornish. Nibbling on your donuts

I was going to ask if your STBDH has life insurance? But I hear that in the good old US of A, a lot of people can't even afford medical insurance and end up having babies on stairwells and suchlike.

Not sure how long you've been stalking us, but I'm an Aussie. In Oz, we get decent Easter eggs, but they're delivered by an Easter Bilby.

I need to consult Thigh about your problem. See if Elsa is available

Plornish please don't get up from your naps and trouble yourself further!

You have wasted enough energy on this man already have you not? I imagine you've been opening his Monster Munch for him
On more than one occasion am I right?

You will know by now that an integral garage will be handy and maybe a fuckboy for labour.

We must consult with thigh now she is herself again and not a Pauline-Bot

Welcome to Thighland Plornish I think there is someone here who can do sums which may work out whether the effort of getting up and finding documents is equal to, or greater than the benefits of being divorced from that dick your ex. If you will be getting enough money in the divorce to enable you to move permanently to our American Thighland colony in Hawaii and wear only a muumuu it may be worth it.

Hey it's Friday!

Mine's a PINT OF WINE!!

Klept is it too early dear or would you like one too with a Vodka side?

Dh is now a bottle opener so no more issues with his CATS BUM FACE it is in fact very useful.

Wait ... will it impair my performance at work? Hmmm no I think I'll be on the same level of deliberate uselessness no matter what.

Ok ... sumps wine.

Good work Small

Oh naked ... yoohoo ... we need another sum doing for poor, dear Plornish ?

Plornish

Would it help if your husband just...went away?

Some of you balk at murder and i understand, for we are a peaceful nation. How about super gluing him somewhere - a greyhound bus with a circular route.

Your hands are clean. Anyone asks and you say he's on glue.

Another benefit of our Hawaiian colony is that as you may recall, we in Thighland only consider someone to have a weight problem if they can't get around without a bariatric mobility scooter. In which case they are then advised to move to Hawaii and wear only a muumuu. Since you are already there and with divorce funds for such a scooter you will know that you can never have a weight problem and will become one of those lucky people who can eat whatever they want.

Oh no Dangly it is Friday which is traditionally murder night. I can't take it, i think we should devote this evening to something else.

Possibly sorting out Project's shit life? We normally do that on Sundays.

thigh If i understood correctly (which would be unusual) I think Project handed Kylie back her gold shorts. The diminutive Aussie is now wearing these as an 'overcoat'.

But begs the question what is Project now doing?

Small it's not a banishment though, it's a bonus. You don't have to go to Hawaii and wear a muumuu, but obviously you're free to go on Thighairlines - extra wide seats.

Dangly well exactly, what is Project doing with her life? Has she gone back to management? Is she a go go dancer with a bearded stick on willy and a beard?