Thigh? Where is thigh?

[ProjectGainsborough]

I’m so confused.

Dear ladies, I understand you are planning your nuptials. Please forgive me touting for business, but I have only just set up as a wedding caterer. I can provide you an introductory bonus.

I have excellent qualifications, having worked on a classy yacht. All manner of sausage cooking available, your guests both human and canine will be very pleased. Brawn and haslet on request, or indeed any pig based products. (I am a resident of Lincolnshire and we all have a yearly quota) I look forward to hearing back with your thoughts. Sincerely, Ichabod Cook

Gin please, never show your otter a spade. Its a sad, sad chapter in otter history.

thigh yes I've been giving this some thought.

I cannot realistically do my 'turn' at the Labour club on Thursdays as a dog now can I? yes I know it will be close but i really need to have my old human droopy tits hanging right down low, it's part of the appeal of the act.

Soooo, being 'species fluid' I thought it would be ok to be human just for doing 'Auld Bag' (and whenever else it suits me better). I will be your dog and vicar at all other times.

I would retire from that job as well but there's decent readies to be had.

Pooter

That made my fur stand up on end!!!

(Pauline's Diary)
I hope they choose a buffet ...... Revenge is a dish best served cold

Bwahahahahahahahaha

Pooter

I realise now it's just the tatooed cook you are stalking and not PB.

That's ok then! I was on high alert!

I do hate being called a Lady, i feel it comes with an expectation that I won't shit in peoples gardens.

WOOOF WOOOF WOOOF WOOOF Fucking WOOOOOOOF

I'm continuously immaturing as an artist and expressing myself through the medium of shit.

Speaking of shit thigh I just went to fertilise your rose but see that you beat me to it.

This Pauline B is a right GF !!

You've all distracted me.

We must analyse my dream of the continuously shitting in the bath pig.

I feel it was a vision.

It seems to me, Thigh, that your need to express yourself artistically through the medium of shit and your shitting pig dream are inexplicitly linked. Are you denying yourself full expression in your waking life?

Ps, I could send you some otter shit if you like, it's very sticky.

Gin i believe you are correct. I'm not expressing myself fully, I'm constrained by societal expectations. Even in Thighland i feel that i would like to be more of a slob and a lazy old slag. I must continuously guard against forward sliding and reverse reverse improvement.

I am FULL of shit !!!

Thigh, I feel the Dream (as it shall be known for ever after) is telling you to acquire some spray paints and to express you inner artist on the walls and hoardings of our great land.

Worked for Banksie

*Banksy

Hang on.. you've got a double reverse going on there... you've cancelled yourself out. Do you see how insideous societal expectations are...even when trying to reverse, you've accidentally gone forward. Be More Alert!
Throw your shit around more wildly, let it all out!

Why in the name of fuck and all that is Thigh is Pauline-Bot catering our wedding? That demi waved whore.

I thought your HR department was doing the catering Dangles? Or, and this is a realistic scenario, is your HR manager Pauline-Bot?

They gave you a disciplinary for being a mad and lazy old slag (incorrect) in order to get you to demand wedding catering as reparations.

It's so obvious.

I know Gin I'm forward sliding! Just yesterday I made my bed.

Thigh, take heed of the profits. Take this reading from St Simon and Garfunkel's letter to the Middle Aged Women

Slip slidin' away
Slip slidin' away
You know the nearer your destination
The more you're slip slidin' away

Meaning the more you reverse improve, the harder it is to reach the inevitable perfection of total languorous lassitude, TLL.

if i find our that Pauline-Bot was on the HR panel at my disciplinary for turning into a dog I'll ...

Well i'm not saying because I'll get sectioned again and i need to be out to defend the wedding from her evil stench of Opium by Yves Saint Laurent!

Dangly, control yourself... they'll be someone along soon, to say you should always be kept on a lead, and then they'll go on to quote the dangerous dogs act. Act friendly, even while shitting in their handbag (it's how I live my life).

Like a slag with a hard border
I will stroke your Thigh...

Dangly I've been wondering, you know you have turned into a dog.

Well could it be that you are a reincarnation of Hitler's dog. Dear sweet Blondi.