Thigh? Where is thigh?

[ProjectGainsborough]

I’m so confused.

Yes and tomorrow I will try harder to learn how to use the danish keyboard in her honour without a machete pressing in my ear!

Goodnight dearest thigh

What is Danglys 'day job'
Happy endings... What trade??

Night, one hour ahead of you.

Haha well Danish I must retire after all that scooting but all was revealed about my stint in Stringfellows Fetish Corner upthead (or maybe a thread or two ago)

Oh I DO miss old Stringy and his wandering hands!

stay in Thighland, sisters, for there is much to be afeared of out there

Seeeeeeeeee. Don't go out ever again.

Go to bed ant stay there. It's the Thigh way.

Ant stay there 🙄😀

And

I got lost, but I've found my way back! I feel like I've missed a lot, but I'm feeling too lazy to read it all. Any important updates or should I go back to sleep?

Thigh got kidnapped by a boy called Pauline. She came in through the shitting hole. Now we sleep Luaa but at some point we shall be avenged

Bot* not boy

I'd just attached more battered sausages to the rope but f#$* that. Another vote for chocolate factory and killing nemesis tomorrow. Anyone elses' slanket now taken on attributes of hitchhikers guide to the galaxy towel? I reckon enough spilt gin and ingrained cheesy snacks to keep me going for a while.

Going on a Pauline hunt Byyaatchhh will have to tell us who sent her unless she wants me to smother her under GQ Magazine. She knows she has to go but I'll give her the choice; she can go gently into the night under 'Take a Break' or 'Women's Weekly' or last imprint on eyeballs will be fake tits or bare lady parts. On the other hand, that's probably what 'Mike' secretly wants. I'll give her Diva magazine; let the Bot have one last thrill.

Happy to hear you’re all safe. V sorry for my long delay in replying to your brilliant suggestions, but I had to do extra napping after the trauma of all those meetings, then had to do stuff with High Maintenance small person (pretending to be her twin brother, making toast etc.). Now I’m back in bed where I belong. I’ve decided to glue STBXH to a train; there are only three a week and no one has ever admitted to catching one. I’m trying to avoid violence, as we have agreed to be “respectful” and “civilised”.
Will be floating off shortly to establish a beach head on Thawaii; I thought duvet cover could double as my muumuu.
Only question is, will Easter Bilby deliver there Getting?

OMG 5 more pages of this...

I'm still on the bomb bus. Going to explode if I don't keep going. Will be pulled over by cops if they catch me on phone. Can hear "Born Free" already.

Can't remember whose husband this is glued to it. But I know we definitely glued one on here at some point.
Must... Keep... Driving.
Have Keanu with me obs, but he is merely a Fuckboy and no use to anyone

Oh, I was supposed to WAVE when I went past you all? Oops, wrong finger. Soz

Getting!!! Well
which bus did we get on then?

To the chocolate factory?

Must have been the 38

You might well have got on my bus Danga for all I know. I strapped my foot to the accelerator with a bandage from the First Aid kit then fell asleep. How did you get on the bus? Cause I wasn't stopping? And I've slept through the last 5 pages

I did the whole stick on eye bit so nobody suspected anything. The swaying all over the road and taking out lamp posts is just the way I drive. Keanu was trying it on, but I tend to fart in my sleep and created a protective force field around myself

Well all I can remember is that thigh threw herself at the window screen and remained there like a suction pad to help and I arrived via next door's child's scooter undercover in my batslanket and scooted behind you losing three stone in the process and getting puffed out! Then thigh threw me a rope if battered sausages so I climbed on with the help
of Iamdanish who squoze mr through a window and gave me s machete for Pauline.

Anyway so then danish told us about an ace chocolate factory so we just went there instead.

Getting I thought you were a very good driver!

Much better than dh!

Oh my head. Ouch. Dangly thank you for the summary - never would have been able to comprehend what was happening.

Are you still at the chocolate factory?

Morning Project !

Well it's y'no I thought was still floating in the river of moulten choc blissfully regaining my 3 stone but when I woke up this morning I was back in my own bedroom!?

As if by magic!

Project are you unwell? You were too drunk to write poetry but I loved your summary to Luaa.

Well done on surviving the night everyone and learning some Danish at the same time. What chocolate factory is it. If Cadbury can you break into the offices and reset all their standards and recipes to 1980s before all was ruined. If mars reset the sizes and change the name of Snickers back to Marathon.

It was so nice having a pleasant ending for a change, there's been so much violence.

This worries me though, are we turning into whiny little bitches and sissies?