Thigh? Where is thigh?

[ProjectGainsborough]

I’m so confused.

Wait ... what?

OMG Small could that be true?

Then we must send sausage, chips, chocolate and Monster Munch + Wotsits round to thigh at all times of the day so she has no room for Go Ahead bars!

Look at the evidence. MN would never ban thigh with her helpful advice and love of gin and biscuits. But they did ban someone with an evil attention seeking personality who was using Thighs computer! Plus when we discovered her in AIBU she was weak, whiny and wearing a suit and makeup. The minute she gorged on snax she returned to her true self.

WHAT?!?!?

I was attackeded would i demi wave my hair?

PB is real fo sho.

I'm just saying has anyone ever seen them both in the same room?

TBF, it does resemble the plot of Speed, where Sandra Bullock keeps eating to stop a bomb going off.

Small may i remind you to check Dangly's cock before you decide which way is up.

Quite right Dangly get your willy out we need to know the truth.

Yes Dangly get your willy willy not out.

Pooter i had never understood the plot of Speed before, it's so complex.

Where in the name of fuck and all that is Thigh is everyone?

But really, I don't think Thigh is evil enough, and who on earth could give themselves a demiwave?? No, Pauline and her insane ambition is at the root of things. She is trying to gain a massive instagram following by showing her bleached bumhole. We know she's already flashed her new fanny around. She must be running out of orifices to publicise.

Nothing would surprise me now. I think she is trawling MN, looking for ideas for her evil products, then inducing gullible MNetters to buy them. Basically she is doing market research. And an army of clones to crunch the numbers.

I'm running Thighland and learning Danish off the TV at the same time. There's no excuse for absence.

So far I've learned Good morning, help me, yes and no. That's all i need.

thigh I am lying down and my willy points to the ceiling! My willy willy (not) is also saying the same thing! I therefore deduce that that way is up! It may be different in Australia though!

Pauline is real and to blame! Warn Alan Carr!!

Dangly's Willy has pointed the way again and like a suspicious husband on Jeremy Kyle lie detector test I flash thigh a sheepish grin and slope off led by a giant security guard while Jezza gives us his smug verdict seated uncomfortably on the floor.

In driving a bus with a bomb on it and if the cops catching me using phone while steering bomb bus they will pull me over and I'll explode. I'm just hoping the husband we glued to the side earlier isn't attracting unwarranted attention...

thigh that reminds me ... where did Iamdanish get to?

I am going to trawl the inteweb for her!

I know we have here Small and Pooter and my goodself and Your Thighness still good for the plot. Klept will be paralytic by now and the others deep asleep in their naps before bedtime.

Getting !!!

Wow I thought you were having a nap! Ok you've got this! C'mon girl just keep that foot on the gas and use the husband as a buffer in the event of a crash!

If you can find Pauline, just knock her out and drape her body over the bomb!

Rooting for ya girl!

I managed to evade the security guard as he was so large he had trouble squeezing through a small doorway and I legged it back to Thighland as it is getting exciting with Getting in the speed bus. Can we drive alongside and throw her sustaining snax? Is Pauline on the bus?

Snax are vital, the bomb has a dead man's switch and will explode without a well fed person holding it down. This is the worst possible time to lose weight!

Pauline is hiding in the outer world of MN, Lord knows what ideas she is collecting out there.

Getting whose husband is glued to the side of the bus and who helped you glue him there? Have you had a battered sausage? Do you want one? You should.

Stay sitting down getting and don't wiggle about if you feel a bit comfortable sitting on that switch. Just think of Thighland and bear down!
I have some nice Tyrells crisps here and a flapjack that I will attempt to lob through the window of the bus.

Would it help if we capture Pauline, knock her out and throw her onto the bus for Getting to use as a buffer for the bomb?

I'll get Pauline (been on my to do for a while) and you two bring snax and we'll all toss things to Getting as she manages the situation (but is NOT a manager!)

I've got a lot of battered sausages here, plus a few Eccles cakes.