I can offer you solutions to all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and can solve anything, no matter how trivial.

Please enter my advice clinic where you will find kindly Agony Aunt services. My rules and solutions are mostly as follows:

1. Lie Down
2. No Guests
3. No One is Too Fat or Too Thin
4. No One Gets Told Off

I'm sure in Buck palace, pissing on blankets is de rigour.

*slankets

You can get a Groupon voucher for Huge Grant. Look at the website under "Things To Do"

Thigh if you buy Mayfair, then you're just next to GO, which means you just have to roll one and you get more money

Can I buy GO then if nobody else wants it? Or does that men I have to keep giving people £200 whenever they pass me?

Help!

< head explodes >

Hey no need for that lobotomy now I did it myself with my own thoughts!!

Danga it means people give you money for free!! In Oz it is 200 dollars. Not sure what the going rate is in UK .

I also have a "Get out of jail free" card if the whole demanding money from the neighbours as you walk past their house thing doesn't work out

Oh brilliant, I'm buying GO then, great ROI if earns me £200 whenever people pass me.

Thanks Getting mate, I can see i'm going to need your "Get out of Jail free' card, given how much harassment of the general public I intent to cause. But wait - isn't it nice in jail, won't they just feed me and let me lie down?

Thiciples of Thighland

Shall we wear these if we go back to the future and live on Go?

So cheap too and appealing to those of us who are sans lobes.

Naked we are going back in time and not to a galaxy far, far away. We do not need to dress like beige Princess Leias

Did someone say 'Galaxy'? 👀

Yum! Time for a snack! 🍫

This is why we love you Danga

I thought we were all gay for Dangly cos of her routine with the rugby balls.

< Frantically doing the rugby ball routine to guarantee eternal acceptance in Thighland >

Have you ever had to take one slipper boot off, like for an itch or to get a stone out or something and then realised that you have to take the other one off too now to match?

This happened!

Dangly you will always be accepted in Thighland. Even with your weird feet thing.

Today one of my managees asked if she could not perform a task giving the reason that she basically can’t be arsed.

A) can I throw things at her head?
B) are we allowed to do this? Because this would revolutionise work for me.

Project nooo don't throw things at her except maybe snacks, bring her to us, she belongs in Thighland where she can not be arsed for a living.

You can then hire someone else who can be arsed and just loves activity so that you can delegate most of your work to her!

Everyone's a winner!

Your managee sounds very thigh perhaps you should bring her krispy kremes and a slanket.

Snap Dangly she is definitely thigh.

She’s also whiny and manipulative. Much prefer balls-out rudeness.

Bitch ain’t coming into Thighland.

High five Small

Oh ok Project that's ruined it a bit, we don't want whiny in Thighland we are far too thigh to whine!

Maybe we should put her on the hitlist?

I don’t know about full on murder. Maybe just judging the weight of the objects I throw at her head. At the moment it’s just a grape, or maybe a loaf of bread. God help us if I get to the melon stage.

Maybe I could lay a trail of Krispy Kremes to the work?

You could do with some pigs Project that'll sort it.

Have you tried imitating her whining voice and rolling your eyes?