He's 35 years older... Is it okay?

[SummerIsNearer]

Or is it completely 'wrong'? This is between two consenting adults obviously.

This is somewhat lighthearted. But I do wonder, is there ever a time where someone can just be too old and people would rightly question it?

It would purely be a bit of sex, I think. Nothing more. I fancy him by the bucket loads and he looks amazingly well for someone of his age. He is also frightfully intelligent.

If people saw us kissing goodbye, would they think it particularly odd that I look so much younger?

I'm really just after your personal opinion

My mum thinks go for it. Sister thinks I'm bloody mad. Friend thinks it's a bit too much of a gap.

It's fantasy league folkes

He's just not that in to you OP.

I know his ex, she's lovely by the way.

Dammit I missed some pages. Yeah still use a condom in your fantasies although celeb men with much younger women hey less hassle than your average old guy down the street

I bet Ralphie is absolute filth. I would happily lose a weekend to him.

Sister thinks I'm bloody mad

I think your sister has hit the nail on the head there

Whoops OP 😂

No. It's not right. I would think he was very wrong more so than you.

😂😂😂

Too big an age gap. Unless you are willing to spend the best years of your life nursing an old man. And what about kids? He’s too old for kids (I go by what’s too old for women is too old for men as a rule, I think that’s fair).

Oh and a 55yr old going after a 21 yr old... what a fantasy for him. And unfortunately the fact that he wants a 21 yr old says exactly what he’s interested in and it’s not your life experience or ability to be an equal to him.

Am I missing a post somewhere?

Ha ha ha

And this OP is no more 21 than I am ...

The age gap is fine OP as all this is in your head

The OP is a fantasist with a crush on Ralph Fiennes. Talk about wasting people's time.

@JaneJeffer yes. Scroll back a little. This is a celebrity crush

And unfortunately the fact that he wants a 21 yr old says exactly what he’s interested in

Only in this case he's not interested because its all in the OPs fantasy filled head

😂

Please tell me he's not your lecturer/professor. These men were not hot in their twenties, thirties, but weirdly get to forties and fifties and young women start throwing themselves at them because they believe them to be frightfully intelligent. Some are but most are not, well, not more intelligent than the PhD students than they are shagging.

I know SO many men who fit this description. I guarantee it will be my ex too. He’ll prey on much more attractive young research students during their mid-PhD crises and hope one feels like she’s stuck with him. Then he’ll use her to prop up his career/life and purposefully undermine her confidence/destroy her career prospects.

I’m have literally no respect for the horribly cliched male academics who do this. The purposefully destroying confidence bit is probably just my ex, but the letcherous older man thing is alarmingly commonplace. They definitely never were hot. 😂

Oh! thanks folks.

how well off is he?

Yes, it is him. I did say in the title it's lighthearted

Not entirely out of reach either. He is attending some of his showings of 'The White Crown'. He will be there, and I'm hoping I could perhaps be in with a small chance.

My mum is quite taken by him and just sees it as me having excellent taste.

DH and I have always said we could sleep with our celeb crush. We talk about it all the time. I would be rooting for him if someone called Hayley McQueen (TV sports presenter) agreed to shag him, that's for sure.

He’ll prey on much more attractive young research students during their mid-PhD crises and hope one feels like she’s stuck with him. Then he’ll use her to prop up his career/life and purposefully undermine her confidence/destroy her career prospects.

That was exactly my experience of the head of my MA course. When I left, I found out he’d been fucking 5 vulnerable students in a 12 month period including an undergrad. He tried grooming me but I didn’t have sex with him but mentally the effects of him getting inside my head were huge and he did sabotage things careerwise for me for a while. I only got away and saw an improvement in my career when I told him I’d given up and moved away. Now I teach at a university . I agree middle aged lecturers who have these kind of patterns are ten a penny.

All that being said...OP go for it with Ralph Fiennes, all the family know my Mum and Colin Firth are having a thing.

This thread is sooo weird.
I feel like I've just walked into the twilight zone and can't find my way out.

He's a filthy bugger who shags about by all accounts but even still the chances of you getting to feel the Fiennes are slim to none, so don't worry your little head about how your relationship would be perceived!

Why do people keep calling him a filthy bugger? I've seen this a few times now

My perception of him is gentle but reserved...
Yet strong.

Quint hopefully he sees me at one of the showings I mentioned, the plan is to go up to him and he thinks I'm asking for an autograph - when really I'm asking "Do you remember the September of last year? I think you've got my pen"

The age gap is a concern for me! creeped me out the other year when my neighbour got rid of his lovely wife to move his new 20 year old in... he's nearly 40 turned out she'd been the other woman for some time

It's interesting how we perceive ages. Most posters on here are considering a 56 year old to be an old man who is nearly ready for nursing care. At 55 I don't see it that way! I'm hoping that me and DH (who is 56) have many more healthy years ahead of us!

21 on the other hand I consider to be little more than a child. I'm sure that there are 21 year olds who have full emotional / social maturity but none of the ones I know. And that's not meant as anything negative . 21 is a lovely age to be but you are still so young. When I was 21 I thought 30 was absolutely ancient!

So - a reverse way of looking at this but I still think the age gap to be far too wide.