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Original poster

Has anyone got all normal children?

160 replies

CandyPuff · 23/02/2019 18:30

I have 2. The first one is so easy going. She's a teenager and she's lovely company. She always has been. Full of life and adventure, enthusiastic, chatty

The second one has mental health issues, is anxious. She is argumentative and stubborn. She doesn't want to do anything and wants everything her own way. She doesn't compromise and screams and shouts ALOT.

I don't know what I did wrong with her? She is so hard to parent and she worries and upsets me

OP posts:
losenotloose · 23/02/2019 18:42

Well my ds1 sounds like your dc2. He doesn't have a diagnosis of anything but is hard, hard work.

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 23/02/2019 18:42

Wow, your title is extremely hurtful....I’d report yourself to MN and reword it.

Normal?? shakes head

redexpat · 23/02/2019 18:43

How old is the second? Have you considered that she may have autism?

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Families
SleepyDibillo · 23/02/2019 18:43

What does normal mean? Hmm

elQuintoConyo · 23/02/2019 18:43

Normal? Gosh! ShockHmm

MakeItAmazing · 23/02/2019 18:43

Ouch

Oops

frothysloth · 23/02/2019 18:46

What an awful thing to say. Surely rather than saying you don’t know where you went wrong which sounds very ‘past tense’ as if nothing can be done to what can I do to help my dc who is clearly suffering.
Perhaps that dc is feeling that they’re living in the shadow of the dc their parents consider ‘normal’

SleepyDibillo · 23/02/2019 18:48

Apparently 1 in 3 people have mental health issues at some point in their life. So it would seem it's entirely "normal".

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 23/02/2019 18:49

Normal? Please change your title it's massively offensive.

Dextrodependant · 23/02/2019 18:50

I have three NT children but dc1 has T1 diabetes... does he count as normal for you?

TrixieFranklin · 23/02/2019 18:50

What a cunty title

GetOffTheTableMabel · 23/02/2019 18:50

Perhaps she feels that her mother dislikes her?
That would increase a child’s anxiety considerably.

Stinkytoe · 23/02/2019 18:52

How dare you?

What a horrible thread.

GreyRoses · 23/02/2019 18:52

Both seem "normal" to me 🙄 Unfortunate word you have used.

However, I get where you are coming from... probably at the end of a long day dealing with challenging behaviour.

One of my children made me actually sob tears yesterday with the way they were being. It can be very tough.

I don't think there's anything wrong that I have done, or you have done. Some children just do need more of their parents than the parents sometimes feel is in their skill set to give 😔 It's super tough. On everything. The child who is struggling with behaviour. The other children. The parents.

Hot4Holes · 23/02/2019 18:52

Ok, will ignore the thread title...

One of my children has SN and is very hard work. Takes so much effort to parent and it’s exhausting some days. How old is your second child? How do you deal with her anxiety?

Ellalovescake · 23/02/2019 18:53

I get how the title comes across but I don’t actually think the op meant any harm with the title!

BringOnTheScience · 23/02/2019 18:54

My kids are both gay. Are they 'normal' to you OP?
One is ginger. Is that 'normal'?
One has mental health issues. Is that 'normal'?

NotMyUsualTopBilling · 23/02/2019 18:55

Depends what your definition of "normal" is I guess.

#1 has anxiety, depression and Autism.
#2 is highly strung and selective mute.

Both are "normal" to me because that's how they are, i haven't done anything (majorly) wrong in their upbringing but fully accept that there are things I could/should've done differently at times as I'm far from a perfect parent.

Backwoodsgirl · 23/02/2019 18:55

I get what you mean by the title. Yes we have 2 normal DC's

Iggly · 23/02/2019 18:56

You mean you have a child that you find harder to parent?

Well first of all I would reflect on whether I have parented them in the right way for them. She isn’t the same as your teenager and won’t ever be. She’s an individual. Respond to her needs sensitively.

PickAChew · 23/02/2019 18:57

Normal for them, yes.

But they're not neurotypical.

Original poster
CandyPuff · 23/02/2019 19:00

Oh Christ, you know what I mean. I've had MH issues myself. Anecdotally, most people I know have at least 1 child with some kind of issues. I was wondering if that is true more widely

Getoffthetable she knows I love her fiercely. But as loose says, it is HARD work.

Red she doesn't have autism. She has anxiety/PTSD/OCD as a result of bullying in school. She is often suicidal. She has had and is having counseling in school and outside of school. She has been under the care of a paediatrician in the past and medicated but is currently much better.

It is awful to think that 1 in 3 kids have MH issues, if that is so sleepy

I'm sorry if my title offended people, but really this is NOT normal. Or, it damn well shouldn't be!

OP posts:
Jinglejanglefish · 23/02/2019 19:01

Normal is not an offensive word. Get a frigging grip.

Original poster
CandyPuff · 23/02/2019 19:04

hot and grey I am all out of 'how to deal with it's tbh. Keeping her not suicidal and mostly in school is pretty much as good as it gets tbh. Today, she has watched TV all day and it's been ok. We had a good hour yesterday evening

OP posts:
GreyRoses · 23/02/2019 19:04

@CandyPuff how old is your more challenging DC? Because if she's a girl, autism tends to present much later and is much more tricky to diagnose.

I would have laid money on my DC not being autistic all the way up to age 12!
She was NOT worrying me in the slightest. Clever thing at masking it 😏😊

Tomorrow is another day. Another day to try and parents the best we can. I hope to do a bit better tomorrow. And I hope you find tomorrow easier too.