What's in your Room 101?

[tulippa]

Sorry if this has been done before but I sometimes think about what I would put in Room 101 if I was ever on the programme. After much deliberating, I have narrowed it down to:

1. Other People at Petrol Stations. Yes I get not everyone wants to use pay at pump or stretch the hose round to the other side of their car but what DO people do when they enter the shop when there's a massive queue of cars waiting to fill up? Fall into an abyss trying to reach the Maltesers that takes them 15 minutes to haul themselves out of? See also Other People at Cash Machines.

1. Baby Showers. Just really sexist and weird. Why aren't men allowed to celebrate the imminent arrival of your baby? Why perpetuate the idea that child rearing is for women only and that's before you get on to the grabbiness (might be reading too much into this here).

1. I know this one is irrational but crockery and containers that tell you what to put in them. You know like caddies that come in sets of three with tea, coffee and sugar written on them. I don't want to be bossed around by inanimate objects - I will choose what I put in my containers thank you! See also ceramic words some place around their house - LOVE in the living room, RELAX in the bathroom.

What would you put in your Room 101?

Those wall plaques that say 'love, laugh,live' or similar shite - hate them!

1. Foods/dishes that combine sweet and savoury together.

1. Loud eaters. This covers not only the actual sounds of eating but the associated sounds too such as scraping cutlery, clinking spoon on teeth etc etc.

1. People that leave a voicemail that simply says call me back when you get this. I would have done that when I saw the missed call anyway. A voicemail should in my opinion give a brief description as to why they called (if going to the effort of leaving a vmail). Doesn’t take long to say “Hi, just called to see if you’re free for a coffee tomorrow ?”

There’s more, but followed your lead of 3!

Put as many as you like My Patronus! Yes to sweet and savoury combined - also can't have anything savoury after eating something sweet (eg crisps after chocolate).

Cling Film - despite the mn trick of the end tabs, it still doesn’t work for me

Motorcyclists- creating your own lane, weaving in and out of traffic, speeding along then complaining they get hit. Drive responsibly

Brexshit

1,Gemma Collins and other reality stars thst have leaked out of their programmes they don't need to be on my Radar

My 12 year old at the moment..it's been a long half term!

Oh and those tin water bottles people are swinging about then they drink out of them like sippy cups

The mummy diaries crap that’s on TV.

Yes, so you’ve had a baby. A lot of women have had them, believe it or not 🙄

LOL at “celebrities” who have leaked out of their programs, MrsJayy

MyPatronus, re voicemails- I agree. It’s worse still when they don’t leave any message at all. Just a brief recorded moment of shuffling before hey hang up.

1. Dog owners who don’t pick up their dog’s shit. Some councils have trialled dna testing poo to link to owners for fining. I want this rolled out and taken one step further - all their dog’s shit, and any unidentified poo, should be collected and left just outside their front door.

1. People who say “You’re quiet aren’t you?” and similar such things to quiet people. Yeah, and you’re loud. Too fucking loud for someone who clearly has so little to actually say.

Dog poo in public places
People in dance classes who ‘know’ they’re better than everyone else and fling their arms in your face and generally take up way too much space.

Cyclists who jump lights at pedestrian crossings.
Cyclists on the pavement.
Weird running commuters in Lycra at 6am in the city who shove past you huffing.
(Christ I do NOT miss my commute)

Yes to dog shit and also people letting their dogs off leads in parks where dogs aren't even allowed.

Fat shaming/slim shaming.

I don’t have an issue with your size, so leave my size alone.

Oh, and one more that makes three:

People that have a reasonabley long drive, have one car, yet PARK IT ON THE ROAD. On a small cul de sac.

@VodkaRevelation, yes to your number 2.

@MrsJayy oh but the water is just so nice and cold!!

My DH and I regularly have these discussions. Far too many to list here but...

1. People who give loftier explanations than needed for their diet. You’re not gluten free for health reasons Doreen, you’re doing it to lose weight and ensure attention is fixed on you in every restaurant and cafe you visit. And don’t preface every conversation with it.

1. People who, on hearing of a medical complaint, say ‘oh you don’t want that’...DM of course I wouldn’t want to have migraines, all I said was that I had a sore head. This is closely related to the annoyance of ‘I know someone who has...’ on the disclosure of illness or symptoms.

1. Obnoxious defensiveness of the sort displayed by Gemma Collins and her ilk. If you’re going to be famous for nowt, at least acknowledge it and be conscious of the fact you’ll be back in obscurity soon.

Oh and Kardashians. The whole shower of them. Shove them in that room so they can all irritate each other to death with those nasal voices.

MrsJayy oh but the water is just so nice and cold!!

Is it

1.Fruit in main courses. I don’t want a fucking stealth sultana in my curry. Fuck off.

1. People who get pissed and then go shopping. I live in a hen-weekend hotspot. Message to the ‘hens’ - you’re not endearing, hilarious, original or wild. You’re loud, stink of fumes, in everybody’s way and one of you has just done a shit in the fitting room. Fuck off home.

1. Vegans/Christians/Meat-eaters/whatever who immediately tell you. Unless I’m cooking you a meal or inviting you to church/devil worship classes I DON’T NEED TO KNOW. You do your thing and let me get on with my goat worshipping. Thank you.

1. Self-published authors who try to get me to buy their book. ‘I’ve had a book published - on Amazon!’ Have you really? I’ve got a picture on my mum’s fridge door. Guess we’re both artists now, huh?

1. Female pop stars who sing like a broken goat. Male pop stars who sound like they’re about to burst into tears any second because they’re not Ed Sheeran.

1. Ed Sheeran.

1. Mamma Mia and Mamma Mia 2. I can’t even.

1. The current crop of Tory politicians. What an absolute shower of cruel bastards. They turn up to food banks for photo ops - and grin. I don’t know how they make it out if there without a tin of beans shoved up their arse.

God, I could go on. I need to stop for my own sanity.

Ooh, great thread!

Pavement cyclists
Christmas
Parents who never say no to their children
Noisy eaters and drinkers
Sniffers
Throat clearers
I'm sure I have millions more......

'Yeah, and you’re loud. Too fucking loud for someone who clearly has so little to actually say.'

Love this! I feel your pain

1. People who don’t pick up their dog’s poo.
2. People who glare at me and mutter things AS IM PICKING UP MY DOG’S POO. I’m not the problem!
3. Drive thru workers who shout down the microphone, thus waking the baby and ruining any chance of a hot coffee / cheeky lunch.

Cyclists who think the road rules dont apply to them , undertaking and jumping red lights and then riding on the pavement

People with a bag and purse in front of you at the express checkout at the supermarket and then look surprised when the till asks for payment

Chavy builders