What's in your Room 101?

[tulippa]

Sorry if this has been done before but I sometimes think about what I would put in Room 101 if I was ever on the programme. After much deliberating, I have narrowed it down to:

1. Other People at Petrol Stations. Yes I get not everyone wants to use pay at pump or stretch the hose round to the other side of their car but what DO people do when they enter the shop when there's a massive queue of cars waiting to fill up? Fall into an abyss trying to reach the Maltesers that takes them 15 minutes to haul themselves out of? See also Other People at Cash Machines.

1. Baby Showers. Just really sexist and weird. Why aren't men allowed to celebrate the imminent arrival of your baby? Why perpetuate the idea that child rearing is for women only and that's before you get on to the grabbiness (might be reading too much into this here).

1. I know this one is irrational but crockery and containers that tell you what to put in them. You know like caddies that come in sets of three with tea, coffee and sugar written on them. I don't want to be bossed around by inanimate objects - I will choose what I put in my containers thank you! See also ceramic words some place around their house - LOVE in the living room, RELAX in the bathroom.

What would you put in your Room 101?

Oh and those minging fake green topiary balls people hang outside their house and think they look good!! Worse still the purple ones....

In no particular order
Robbie Williams
Cats (very allergic)
People who don't look after dogs
My X
Slow trains
My employer
X factor, Love Island, Big Brother type crap

1. Cats shitting everywhere
2. Steve Wright in the afternoon
3. Mrs Brown’s Boys.

1. Cyclists on the pavement

1. Aldi

1. People who eat Kitkats without snapping them

people stepping off the pavement whilst listening to earphones
oblivious that I have kindly saved their lives by not running them over....

Any MN thread that tries to start a wheelchair vs buggy on the bus "debate"

The reality is if the buggy pusher cooperates with the wheelchair user properly there is usually enough room for both and those threads bring out nothing but the terminally ignorant, the whataboutters, and the not in my backyarders

They are horrendous for my blood pressure

Limited this to one topic, otherwise I will be here all night.

1. People who drive at 40mph regardless of the speed limit. So you crawl behind them for miles in a 60 zone, only to see them whizz off at the next village with a 30mph limit.
2. People who drive really really close behind you on a busy road. I can't physically go any faster love, there's about 50 cars ahead of me!
3. Ridiculously bright headlights.
4. People who pull out swiftly in front of you so you have to sharply brake and then drive 10mph under the speed limit.
5. All work vans, white or otherwise.
6. People who flash you on the motorway to pull over. Just wait for me to overtake.
7. Middle lane drivers when there are literally no cars in the first lane. Just why?
8. Baby on board stickers. Sorry, they just bug me.
9. People who don't wait for you to drive along a double parked street, so you end up in a ridiculous car Mexican showdown with them. (I always win, I can't reverse)

10. Unwarranted road rage. Always fun if you then get to pull up alongside them at the next traffic lights and they stare ahead as if in a hypnotic trance.

Greengrocers' apostrophes: "Apple's" etc and 'should of', 'would of'.

Oh and the greengrocers near me who still have prices in pounds per pound. Ffs. It's 2019. Metric has been officially our system of measurement for a really long time.

People who refuse to have their photo taken when I'm trying to capture the a get together, especially other people's children. It's not about you, stop being so egotistical, but the group picture will be weird without you in it. I'm not stealing your soul, don't be precious.

Brexit.

Frank Skinner's version of Room 101

I love Frank Skinner's Room 101

People who don't pick up their dog's shit
People who litter
People who don't keep their front gardens tidy

Trampolines and children screaming on them
saturday lie in spoilt by inconsiderate neighbours and their children yet again 7am 😠😠

People who moan about other people coughing/ sneezing/ sniffing on public transport. Its public transport! Either
A) get a car so your dainty space isn’t affected by other people’s existence
B) move abroad away from this weather that makes people cough/ sneeze/ sniff

1). “Hun” people. I’m not your “hun”.

2). Those people with cryptic statuses on FB. Then friends asking “you ok hun?” Then poster says “I’ll PM you “. Oh do fuck off.

3). Engagement parties. Dont know why but whats the point apart from greed? You probably have everything you need and you’ll get more when you get hitched.

4). Baby showers. Utter tripe and i have refused invites, even to family members.

Jeez i can be here all day listing.

People who don’t know how to use mini roundabouts, middle lane hoggers, people who sit in the fast lane to overtake the middle lane hogger but can’t pick up the pace, people who jump the queue of traffic and try to cut in. I tend to swear a lot when I’m driving.

Millionaire Celebrities telling the general public to put their hand In their pockets for charities.

Batchlors noodles. They've got no taste to them. Give Home and Bargain Koka noodles, any day.

Cotton wool buds. They make me wince.

When you go to get in the bath and water is cold, because the gas has ran out.

Shop workers in fitting rooms asking was an item any good when I hand it back to them. Would I be handing it back if it was. I do appreciate though that they're probably told to do this.

When you go to a salon for say an eyebrow wax and They say. Oh they're terrible aren't they. Well yes love. That's why I'm here putting money in your pocket.

I'm a moaning cow, so I'm sure I'll think of more.

Tailgaters.

Litter.

Reality TV 'stars.'

1. Spammers

People who post completely irrelevant adverts in the middle of threads without contributing anything relevant to the thread.

And also:

1. People who begin posts "Hi Guys".
2. People who use exclamation marks in a (failed) attempt to sound friendly and upbeat.
3. People who describe a group of women they've never met as "you Mums".
4. People who can't use possessive apostrophes correctly, or understand the difference between a common noun and a proper noun.

3. People who eat Kitkats without snapping them

LivingBoy

Well, that escalated quickly . . .

Oh another one. When someone dies.

Those who post on FB etc “RIP!!!!!!!!!!!!”

With exclamation marks. WTF?

Mrs Browns Boys
4x4 cars (you can manage the north face of the Kings Road without one)
Brexit

Smoking. Every single thing about it. The smell. The butt ends everywhere. The grey tinge to smokers skin. The little creases around the mouth. The yellow hair and walls. The disgusting sucking sound when someone on the other end of the phone takes a drag. The crowds of desperate people gathered outside public buildings inhaling and exhaling poisonous fumes. I bloody hate it.

Tarantulas

Trump

Anyone that cuts into a line of waiting traffic at the last minute

Customs officers at any US airport