What's in your Room 101?

[tulippa]

Sorry if this has been done before but I sometimes think about what I would put in Room 101 if I was ever on the programme. After much deliberating, I have narrowed it down to:

1. Other People at Petrol Stations. Yes I get not everyone wants to use pay at pump or stretch the hose round to the other side of their car but what DO people do when they enter the shop when there's a massive queue of cars waiting to fill up? Fall into an abyss trying to reach the Maltesers that takes them 15 minutes to haul themselves out of? See also Other People at Cash Machines.

1. Baby Showers. Just really sexist and weird. Why aren't men allowed to celebrate the imminent arrival of your baby? Why perpetuate the idea that child rearing is for women only and that's before you get on to the grabbiness (might be reading too much into this here).

1. I know this one is irrational but crockery and containers that tell you what to put in them. You know like caddies that come in sets of three with tea, coffee and sugar written on them. I don't want to be bossed around by inanimate objects - I will choose what I put in my containers thank you! See also ceramic words some place around their house - LOVE in the living room, RELAX in the bathroom.

What would you put in your Room 101?

1. Drivers who drive with sidelights on. Why??? It's like half-drawing your curtains. Lights on or off.
2. Cyclists who ignore the fact there is a cycle lane and still cycle on the fucking road.
3. People who don't pick their feet up when they walk. Yes, Ugg boot wearers I mean you.
4. Like the OP, things like plates with "dinner" or "eat" written on them.
5. Any writing on your walls, and particularly lists of rules.
6. Male singers who wail in a girly way (Sam Smith, please take note).
7. People who are getting married in an enormous expensive castle, but can't be arsed to spell or punctuate their wedding invitations correctly (quite specific but this one's really winding me up at the moment).
8. Tories.
9. Anyone who reposts crap on Facebook without checking whether it's true or not.

Personalised number plates. Especially those where they have rearranged the spacing and/or made use of thin strips of gaffer tape in the hope that no-one will notice.

Hay fever.

Clothes that aren't the size they say they are on the hanger in the shop. You grab a few different things to try on, all in your size, and none of them are remotely the same size as either you or each other.

Doctors who stop listening to you while you are explaining your symptoms because they've already decided what's wrong (take some paracetamol and come back in a week if you aren't better / well, it is to be expected at... how old are you?).

Mispronunciation.

(Male singers who wail in a girly way (Sam Smith, please take note).*

Agree.

People who drive too slow (I can relate to Ellen DeGeneres comments on her stand up).

Forgot this one.

Car stickers that say 'powered by fairy dust'.

No it fucking isn't.

People who drag their feet in supermarkets

People who stop and have a chat in shop doorways and the top of escalators

My colleague who has to announce everything she is doing all day

People who share fake news on fb

Odd socks

People who click their fingers at waitresses

Mrs Hinch and her Hinch Army

sick bastards who abuse children and animals
men who assault their partners
mixed sex wards changing rooms or toilets
stupid sods who insist on calling mongrels by some poncy name and charge the earth for it
rude people who stop in the middle of the pavement to talk meaning i have to go on the road to get past risking my life

Sniffers
Sticky labels on bloody everything.
Animal owners who use human references, my boy dog, my girl cat. They are animals & are not comparable to humans in any way, no matter how much you love them.
Open mouth eaters.
Brexiteers.
Anyone who votes for Jeremy Corbyn.
Vladimir Putin.

Basically everything @lottielady said (except the sultana thing - i can’t quite bring myself to care). Otherwise her list is brilliant and she has my vote in any forthcoming elections.

I will add to the general misery:

1. People who ask my daughter if she has a boyfriend whilst smirking. No, she’s fucking three, you complete and utter wankbadger, and has nonidea what you’re on about. I can’t work out which bothers me more - unnecessarily sexualising the pre-pubescent, or teaching girls that unnecesary intrusive interrogations into their private lives are something they should learn to suck up from an early age, but either way just fucking stop it.

2. colleagues who read one book every year and then bang on about it like they just invented literacy - i wouldn’t mind if it showed some independent thought, but it is ALWAYS Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Twilight, Da Vinci Code, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - book of the summer de jour and utter tripe.

3. related to (1) actually - people who appear to believe they have a right to question single women about their love life/family plans/whether they’re seeing anyone “yet”. Presumably they wouldn’t appreciate the same prying queries into their own sex lives with Mrs Dreary-Opinionated.

Brexit
Dog shit
Comments sections on news websites and Facebook.
People who think they're entitled to their opinions without being able to back them up with facts.

• Crossover albums - Kiri Takanawa warbling her way through The Beatles and the like. I love opera, like The Beatles, don’t fuck about with it.
• the misuse of reflexive pronouns: “Can I get any coffee for yourselves?”
• Buddhas solely as interior (or exterior) decoration, projecting cool, vague, wanky spiritualism and offensive to millions of actual Buddhists.

Oh yes. Fecking Brexit. We need to open up a whole new room for that and stick Cameron in there with it. They can keep each other company. I think we can all agree on the whole Brexit debacle going in, no matter which side you're on.

We're going to need a bigger room.

Enid

The EU and all the whinging remainers
The Beatles
All Rap "music"
SJW's

1. People who stand on the middle of a staircase to have a conversation. Fucking move before I push you down the sodding stairs you space-wasting bastards.

2. Britney Spears

3. Packaging that takes a degree and a chainsaw to get into. Specifically- that in which scissors come in

4. The neighbour who moves his car to outside my house each morning to warm up. I do not want to listen to your fucking engine idling for the next 30 minutes you asshole. Do it outside your own house

5. The other neighbour who gets home at ridiculous-o-clock and has to obsessively lock and unlock his truck at least 12 times before fucking off into his house

1. Paul Merton's version of Room 101

1. Frank Skinner's version of Room 101

• That fucking Andrew advert that talks about being as clean as a spoon in a circus.
• Steve Wright calling himself DJ Silly Boi, thinking he is fucking hilarious with the serious jockin' feature that he bangs on about all week and is as entertaining as toothache. Ugh cringe!
• any nationwide advert
• most drivers
• queues

I should stop, I am intolerant to most things!

Not Andrew advert- Andrex advert

I now want to add autocorrect to the list!

1. Anyone who likes mayonnaise ( devils spunk)
2. Anyone who says pacific instead of specific
3. Chuggers

Brexit
Alcohol in puddings or desserts
Calories
Teething
My nose

stupid sods who insist on calling mongrels by some poncy name and charge the earth for it

And the stupid sods who insist on calling mongrels by some poncy name and are prepared to pay the earth for it, thus encouraging backyard breeders and puppy-farming bastards who don't give a toss about the way their poor animals are used, abused and bred into the ground, then dumped without a second thought.

C*nts!

1. Whoever lets their (presumably) large dog crap all over the pavement outside my front gate on a regular basis.
2. Brexit
3. Dried fruit in all its evil forms
4. Tradesmen who don't turn up when you waited in for them.
5. Laura Perrins.

People who go to the theatre and cough loudly all through the performance
men who put their briefcase down on the inside seat of the train and sit in the outside seat when it is busy so no one else can sit down

1. Stickers that don't peel off fully in one go

1. Sodding nose blowers who persist blowing when there's nothing there ffs! #trumpet

What is going on with dogs shitting everywhere? How come it's gotten so bad. What's the point of putting it in plastic bags or would bio degradable bags be an idea???

Bloody stuck to my pram wheels today. Give me a break. Got enough shit to clean up never mind scrubbing wheels, shoes and carpets!!!!!!!!