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Original poster

I can offer you solutions to all your problems *Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 21/02/2019 18:07

Do you have a problem? Bring it to Thighland and we will solve it for you.

After we have solved your problem we will nurse you back to full health and change your life for the better.....forever

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Thread gallery
12
Gettingnowhere · 22/02/2019 21:04

Hubband pig oink oink

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 22/02/2019 21:06

Getting drink the Kool Aid, put a splash of vodka.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 22/02/2019 21:08

BHS let him live. For now.....

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BHStowel · 22/02/2019 21:09

I’m pretty sure he said it but I can’t ask at moment as he’s fallen asleep doing bedtime for the small child.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 22/02/2019 21:09

Tired, gin, bath.

Night cadre xxx

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Luaa · 22/02/2019 21:23

thigh thank you, you are such a good leader, whilst carefully avoiding ever straying into insane manager territory.

I hope it pleases you to know that I've been going to bed hours earlier than usual since finding the way of thigh.

Grinchly · 22/02/2019 21:36

Thigh I will send you the number for the man o work. He is good for fixing external streams of bath water effluent but he ain't no fuckboy. Just in case anyone was wondering.

Laska2Meryls · 22/02/2019 21:48

Ok I came back for the soothing balm of Thighlore before I have to deal with a 'husband' returning for the weekend and all is Wrong.

I am seriously worried now, Everything I have just read makes no sense ,.It all started with the strange Thing left on Our Dear Leader Thigh's doorstep and has gone downhill from there.

I may have had a Negroni too far.....but i am here with my sword and spear ready to repel Fuckboyz . mannequins and all manner of Unthigh shizz

What is this Fish thing?

STOP. ..think what you are doing Thisiples.. Thighland is in peril from weirdness and oddness.. ..(I think stupendous Steve has sent his Zombie acolyte Fuckboyz in to de-stabilise us ..)

BAM! POW!!..We can strike back.. It is a Weekend....Lie back Thigholytes, Gin Cake Wine Bear (monstermunch).. We are One Thnation remember ...We are strong...

AlpacaLypse · 22/02/2019 22:24

Luaa

I haven't.

hellenbackagen · 22/02/2019 22:58

Weapon drawn. (Well. Big ass metal stick and a scowl)
I will be standing guard all night fear not !

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 22/02/2019 23:07

ORDER is restored. I am bathed, sadly not in arse's milk.

My HELLEN is back!

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 22/02/2019 23:09

Dear sweet Luaa it pleases my Thighly that you are resting for this is the first Rule of Thighland.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 22/02/2019 23:11

Grinchly do i want a Man O Work or Man O War, oh wait I have Hellen our resident superhero for that.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 22/02/2019 23:13

Once I thmused to myself: Which would please me more, a husband or a butler?

I am not posh enough for a butler so decided upon a lottery win instead.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 22/02/2019 23:15

Oh Laska i believe it was Reginald's haunted mannequin what done for us. Wax and I are not a good mix it seems.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 22/02/2019 23:18

WAIT!! did you put an olive in your Negroni Laska?

To answer your earlier query re olives, they are mere alcoholic supplements and do not fall under the "vegetable" lores.

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MrsCatE · 23/02/2019 00:03

I am not worthy Oh Great Thigh and Thighsiples

I will list my foibles thus:

I have a cat - he hates me
I have a husband (promise to get rid asap)
I have been a manager (but now on unpaid sick leave)

I throw myself on your mercy to be allowed to enter Thighland.

I love dogs, have an integral garage, patio, river frontage and willing to share facilities with fellow citizens.

I also specialise in lying down and drinking neat gin - can't be fucked getting up for tonic, ice or God forbid lemon (fucking fruit). Food = wotsits or quavers.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 23/02/2019 00:12

Cat i feel your force from here. Thigh runs hotly through your occluded veins. I see great promise in you and your skillz n shizz will be a great and powerful addition to the sisterhood.

You approached correctly and this thrills my myopathic heart.

You're in, welcome sister.

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MrsCatE · 23/02/2019 00:33

Thank you O Mighty Thigh.

Another plus is I'm an insomniac and happy to patrol the ramparts of Thighland against incursions of THEM or rogue Fuckboys.

Boomshakalak y'all - I'll keep fuckers at bay till mornin' time

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 23/02/2019 00:37

Cat we need night patrol that is true. Our glorious Thighland is only for the sisterhood, Elsa the majestic lion, the forensic pigs and the thick but oh so pretty Fuckboys.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 23/02/2019 00:40

Cat tis my bedtime, i need to follow the first lore of Thigh. My hatches are battened against guests and the cadre are bedded down. Some of them exceptionally drunk - you know who you are (no judgement).

I leave you to patrol the ramparts Cat.

Night xx

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Gettingnowhere · 23/02/2019 06:05

Oh my head.
Where am I? Who am I?

I remember putting my jacket on and heading out the door in search of a missing haunted mannequin that had my umbrella and my Monster Munches.

Ugggghhh, the ground is soggy and I'm surrounded by olives. What the hell?

MrsCatE · 23/02/2019 06:20

Eek! Our great leader I was on patrol, honest. I saw nowt.

Getting I fear you have been lured into the makings of a giant martini and about to be shaken (not stirred) in a ginormous cocktail shaker by THEM.

Start singing "Born Free" so Hellen can get on the case. Hold it together, woman.

HELLEN!!!! HELP!! WE'VE BEEN PENETRATED INFILTRATED

hellenbackagen · 23/02/2019 07:21

I'm here but I must lie down for a bit first. 😴

MysticReg · 23/02/2019 08:00

Have the mannequins revolted? I will send a small child to round them up, just as soon as it has finished watching Wallace and Gromit.

If anyone has problems with them, they are frightened of buttons and potatoes. They are sometimes drawn to fire, as they think it will melt the wax and therefore release them. Little do they know that only haunted fire can melt haunted wax. Ha! Fools.