I can offer you solutions to all your problems *Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Do you have a problem? Bring it to Thighland and we will solve it for you.

After we have solved your problem we will nurse you back to full health and change your life for the better.....forever

Thank you Your Thighness, I am much relieved, and full of joy, as I knew form the first that I had at last found my Thribe.

I've told you before Grinchly I have a soft spot for you, I feel the force from here.

OK - confession time over.

I don't want to hear about it, you all have blanket absolution akin to the carpet bombing of Laos.

I do thinking shizz so they pay me but I am not a manager nor never have been one...

I also have a very old and useless degree in Humanities

I do have a 'husband' but we established that in Thread 1.. (who works away most of the time) and when he is here i shall put him in the garden with the pigs (after he has transferred all the ££££ he earned into my account). The house is my name..

Bratz.. 2grown up and gone, Grandbratz 3 , but when they come here I make them do chores.

I am Very, very fond of wine. (it is my main Nutrient, ) and coffee, crisps and cheese my joint seconds .

I have foresworn all Vegetables since gaining a novice understanding of Thighlore.

I will never eat Devils Sludge ( hummus) again

Born Free is my all-time favourite song

I sent the both dress and the shoes back ..

oh sorry i cross posted my confession .

Thank you, Reg, I am delighted by the haunted mannequin that just arrived at my door. It holds my umbrella beautifully and is less thick than a Fuckboy

Haunted mannequins plus spare haunted wax wanging its way to all. So sorry for the delay, I had to leave the house. Fuck that shit.

So pleased it arrived. It can be animated for savoury snack and wine retrieval.

Yes, I'm lying on the couch now. I shouted "Monster Munch" and it replied "Monnnssttterr Muuuunnnnccchhh". I'm expecting the snacks to arrive at any moment. Is it meant to make that clunking noise?

Cheers Reg mine's arrived! Can;t wait to try it.

Sent out the M Munch to you via Fuckboy, lemme know if doesn't arrive and I'll thrash the bastard, he lives in the shed for now while I have a few jobs need doing.

Good idea Dangly. Fuckboys are always happy to do a bit of screwing

Getting just punch it in the nuts, the clanking will stop.

Yes Reg, I was impressed by the anatomical correctness. You don't often see that in mannequins. Ok, just getting up off the couch... This may take a while

getting I just snorted my !

I have a problem. I can't be arsed to set up MN on my phone, and would have to delete or transfer to hard drive loads of very important photos and videos of dogs being cute anyway to make room in the memory, which is far too mentally taxing, therefore have to do MN on the computer. Which involves sitting not lying down. Am I still allowed to be a citizen of Thighland? I only leave the house to walk dogs and buy wine and snacks and occasionally check the riverbank for Fuckboys.

Thisiples Friday eve dilemma here .. If I put an olive in my Martini will that count as a vegetable (I know that Olives are fruit but these are green with some pimento in ) .

Ok, can answer Laska's dilemma. You're not fecking James Bond. Stop bollixing about doing fancy shizz to Martinis and just down it

.. lemon in G&T? ..

Alpaca, I'm exhausted just reading your dilemma.

Forget the lemon. Forget the &T. Down the G.

oh dont worry I know he answer to that , only if I have already got someone else to slice it first .. (same with orange in Negronis)

Have youever tried a Negroni? Its Three drinks in one! Gin, Martini and Campari .. ( yum)

Crikey, what would you fellas do without an Aussie on the team?

Alpaca me too, trying to load Mn onto phone sounds far too taxing and unthigh.

Do what I do (when not lying down horizontal with phone of course) and lie fully outstretched on sofa with cushion on lap and laptop on cushion, have a huge cushion (or pillow) behind you and gradually slide further and further down so that your typing hands seem quite high up, almost as high as your head.

Have any wine on the floor to just reach down and easily sump.

Monster munch can reside on sofa near your hip.

Also alpaca if you have a dh or any offspring who demand you move up so they can sit down, put them in the garden for now and then consult thigh for further disposal tips.

Hello again! Found you.