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Original poster

I can offer you solutions to all your problems *Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 21/02/2019 18:07

Do you have a problem? Bring it to Thighland and we will solve it for you.

After we have solved your problem we will nurse you back to full health and change your life for the better.....forever

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 11:30

Cat ah just seen you encountered a flock of smug dads with baby slings. I wonder if Danish introduced them as she comes from the land of Latte Pappas. Who are disgusting and unnecessarily proud of themselves.

"Ooooh, look at me, I can keep a baby alive", a cat (no judgement) can do that. Hardly rocket science (rumbled you there Naked).

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 11:32

Danish first rule of Thighland, we share any addresses and phone numbers of anyone we wish to stalk either for revenge or other nefarious purposes. We work as a sisterhood.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 11:34

Naked you said that the police will happily give you lifts in their cars and "arrest" you. This makes me think - should we recruit them to Thighland as our own security force.

I am naturally averse to the police (sorry Hellen) as there are so many things I wish to do that may land me in prison.

But if they could be shown the error of their thinking? Do we send them a card?

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 11:36

Reissue their uniforms as slankets? And give them monster munch instead of sticks - who the fuck wants a stick when they could have a snack?

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Iamdanish · 27/02/2019 11:37

But you see, I have a bread cutting mashine I don't use. Thought of using the cuttings to start an open sandwich shop. But should it be smoked, fried or salted cuts? So many issues to consider and soo much work.
What fathers?? Maybe a few smug ones, the majority home on the sofa 😂.
Another problem though - sis birthday, do I really have to call her, how can I get out of this?

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 11:40

Dangly you are correct, everything you need is here.

I have left real life behind. It did not please me and now I live always in Thighland where I am happy and free of all obligations and laws.

I plot murder, body disposal, control the weather (you're welcome) and I have the sisterhood. I need nothing else.

We are healed. Our inner murderesses roam free.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 11:41

Danish smash your telephone, if people want you they can write you a letter.

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Iamdanish · 27/02/2019 11:45

Ooh thank you wise thigh.
Running out to take down the mail box...

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 11:52

Danish very good, you could start your killing spree with the postman too.

When you said you were going to slake the body in lime did you mean the fruit or the chemical?

If the fruit - were you going to marinade the body?

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 11:55

Oh how I love to solve problems, being a keyboard healer gives me great joy.

It is a veritable antidote to all the keyboard warriors out there, why fight when you can just as easily murder and dispose of the body.

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Iamdanish · 27/02/2019 12:02

The chemical one should dissolve just about anything.
But perhaps the marinade one for the open sandwich shop?
No not the postman... The first one to go today is the c...ow, who is buying something from my dd on an eBay thing and has announced she will arrive today, no specific time, I should just wait for her all day..
Going to find the bread cutter now... Anyone for a free open sandwich.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 12:04

Yes please Danish my mouth is always open for snacks.

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Iamdanish · 27/02/2019 12:13

Sending the bones for the dogs, too 😀

DanglyTassles · 27/02/2019 12:20

Oh yes please Danish , how kind, I would also like to partake of free open sandwich with body of that cow in it. I can sprinkle my Monster Munch on top!

Iamdanish · 27/02/2019 12:36

Great idea Dangly it would make them extra crunchy 😀

Do you think I could sell them as vegan? Would boost the sale and as it is not veal, lamb etc....

Gettingnowhere · 27/02/2019 12:46

IamDanish
I once purchased a pot of chicken-flavoured pot noodles with no mention of chicken nor any other beast or beast derivatives in the ingredients. Why not?

MysticReg · 27/02/2019 13:04

Gotten as the official haunted mannequin expert, I should mention that your neighbour can be turned into a mannequin of your very own. You can harvest his organs, dip him in haunted wax, steal his car, and he will do your bidding. Bob’s your father.

Iamdanish · 27/02/2019 13:13

Ooh she is here...

DanglyTassles · 27/02/2019 13:20

Danish yes it is definitely vegan! If it's only the body of a horrible human in then there the vegans will not object!

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 14:43

Reginald I'm really confused about Bob. Whose father is he? Has he been on Jeremy Kyle yet? I know the DNA results are back but if it's not on Jeremy Kyle, it's not authentic.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 14:45

I just don't know if i can work with the police. I've been designing a card, but it has to be anonymous. It's taken hours.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 14:50

This should work

I can offer you solutions to all your problems *Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*
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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 14:59

That was a draft, have finalised it now

I can offer you solutions to all your problems *Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*
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Gettingnowhere · 27/02/2019 15:37

Oh Great Thigh, your artwork is truly unique. But how do we make sure the police actually read it and not just stick it in the Suggestion Box on the Third Floor where nobody ever goes?

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 15:41

Getting post it to Cressida Dick?

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