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Original poster

I can offer you solutions to all your problems *Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 21/02/2019 18:07

Do you have a problem? Bring it to Thighland and we will solve it for you.

After we have solved your problem we will nurse you back to full health and change your life for the better.....forever

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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GottenGottenGotten · 26/02/2019 15:44

My car is terminally ill. (just failed its mot).

I don't have enough money for a new one.

Public transport here is dire. I will have to wait 3.5 hours for a bus to go the 20 miles home after work on Friday.

Creative solutions welcomed! I can't cycle 20 miles...

Gettingnowhere · 26/02/2019 15:54

Welcome Gotten. You've come to the right place for solutions.
After carefully studying your post, I can help thinking that it's your job and not your car that is the problem.
Do your employers offer a "work from home" option?

Gettingnowhere · 26/02/2019 15:54

Can't ^

Gettingnowhere · 26/02/2019 16:37

Thigh

I can offer you solutions to all your problems *Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*
Gettingnowhere · 26/02/2019 16:38

Can't get my bastard picture to upload

I can offer you solutions to all your problems *Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*
Gettingnowhere · 26/02/2019 16:39

Oh, now it's there twice 😁😁

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 26/02/2019 16:40

GottenGottenGotten you do have a problem but I have many solutions for you, you could use all of them in turn:

  1. Do you have micro humans for which you are responsible? These can finally be put to use and can push you in a wheelbarrow wherever you wish to go.
  1. One of the sisterhood is Hellen the policeman. She says it's OK to use police vehicles whenever they're on a break. Added bonus is that the sirens are set to our anthem "Born Free".
  1. Hellen the policeman and body disposal expert recommended that we buy a fleet of old cars to use for disposal of "husbands" dead bodies. You can check out one of our fleet cars.
  1. Make your own MOT certificate using crayons. Look back a couple of pages and you will see examples of our artistry re our range of cards. Hellen said that this will pass as an MOT certificate if you use blue crayon.
OP posts:
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 26/02/2019 16:46

This was last week Getting i ran a bit low so this week I double bubbled

I can offer you solutions to all your problems *Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*
OP posts:
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 26/02/2019 16:54

thislido promotional logos on the slankets is as excellent idea, well done. Now......who is artistic and could design these logos? How about Barry the Slanket? He's got an attitude problem, but I like his style.

I like the sound of lidocat - he sounds exceptionally dog like and we can make him an honorary dog.

My panic room is exceptionally comfortable, as is everywhere I go. I have tried to model myself after a sofa and am encased in a slanket therefore can just drop to the floor anywhere and I chaise lounge myself.

OP posts:
DanglyTassles · 26/02/2019 17:16

thigh I am ver partial to artwork produced by your own fair hand but understand it is very taxing to keep crayoning all the time!

Could we not just use the Monster Munch logo for the slankets? MM will never know!

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 26/02/2019 17:28

YES!!! Yes Dangly you're actually a complete genius ❤❤❤

OP posts:
thislido · 26/02/2019 17:50

Gotten can you smuggle yourself into someone else's car in a camouflage slanket?

How are the facilities at work? Could you live there? All you really need to sustain life is free tea and coffee.

Have you got a "husband" whose organs you could harvest and sell?

Could you send a haunted mannequin in your place? They can probably cycle or float 20 miles.

What is the hurry to get home? Think what fun you could have in 3.5 hours with a slanket and the internet. As a bonus you could pick up some begging tips from others hanging around.

Could you acquire squatters rights to another car, perhaps one that you have accidentlly knocked into with a large crowbar, causing the door to open? Accidents are totally legal.

thislido · 26/02/2019 17:54

Thisters, thank you for the mirth. My therapist made me cry but Thighdom has restored me

Gettingnowhere · 26/02/2019 17:56

Therapists are bastards. We are all you need. Loved your advice ThisLido. And your snack bucket comment earlier had me in tears

thislido · 26/02/2019 17:56

Gotten another idea. Sign up to a dog sitting website. Find some huskies or a large breed. Harness to pram/skateboard/available wheeled conveyance. Bob's your uncle AND YOU'LL GET PAID.

thislido · 26/02/2019 17:58

getting

thislido · 26/02/2019 17:59

Gotten have you got an uncle? His name is unimportant. Has he got a car? Bob's your uncle!

Gettingnowhere · 26/02/2019 18:01

You're on a roll, This. *Gotten" should be throwing herself at your feet. Where the fuck did she get to anyway? You'd think she'd be here by now with all these fine transport options

thislido · 26/02/2019 18:06

She's probably investing her last few pennies in a slanket, a decision she won't regret.

Your advice to gotten made me realise it is just about reframing the problem. The car is a massive distraction to the endless stream of solutions.

thislido · 26/02/2019 18:07

Thigh, are those snack buckets wheeled? Asking for a thriend.

Gettingnowhere · 26/02/2019 18:11

This, Thigh is holding a fine set of wheels in the second pic. What did you think those big round things were?

thislido · 26/02/2019 18:15

So she is! I had mistaken them for large jammy dodgers.

(Does anyone else remember the pimp your snack website?)

thislido · 26/02/2019 18:16

It lives! www.pimpthatsnack.com

Kleptronic · 26/02/2019 18:22

Hello my lovely homeland. I am about to do networking and so am sat in a friendly nearby bar/cafe having a large wine. I won't be allowed to lie down and it will be 25 people of the male sex and me. I'm a female person.

My entreaty is, what should my first line be upon entry to the networking sanctum, o gloriously wise denizens of Thighland?

thislido · 26/02/2019 18:24

Imagine they are all haunted mannequins and just say whatever comes to mind.