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Original poster

I can offer you solutions to all your problems *Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 21/02/2019 18:07

Do you have a problem? Bring it to Thighland and we will solve it for you.

After we have solved your problem we will nurse you back to full health and change your life for the better.....forever

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
thislido · 25/02/2019 20:17

I never venture to AIBU because they are all mad and angry but we coincide on the Archers thread.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 25/02/2019 20:21

thislido I am always sober and never drink, my mission is too important to dilute with pernod and black.

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DanglyTassles · 25/02/2019 20:24

Hellen honestly, I know this, this is my bag! I have DH who is teetotal when I am a pisshead who likes to get fucked to the max each weekend!

Go into the kitchen and take the prosecco out of fridge (Happy Birthday Dear btw!!!) Hide under teatowel or slanket, Also take a mug!

Go out of the back door and as far away from house as possible.

Pop cork but reapply the pressure back into cork at last moment of release for least 'poppage' more like a silent fart is the aim!

Pour into mug and sump until gone, then hide bottle in garden (pref over fence).

If anyone challenges you felt faint and needed fresh air (do not let them see prosecco or you're busted!)

I know you can pull it off! C'mon girl the thorce of thigh is with you!

DanglyTassles · 25/02/2019 20:25
  • should say hide the BOTTLE under teatowel or slanket not the whole of you, that would be insane!!
thislido · 25/02/2019 20:26

There is a gap in the market. When I got divorced my friend had to get me a Congratulations on Your Weight Loss card.

I can offer you solutions to all your problems *Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*
hellenbackagen · 25/02/2019 20:27

Oh dangly you are genius. Dp is also of the moderate drinking variety.

Watch this space....

thislido · 25/02/2019 20:27

I was wondering aboit hiding under a tea towel, I just assumed desperate times called for desperate measures.

Kleptronic · 25/02/2019 20:29

Oh hellen happy day of your birth and very sorry for your loss. Go and get the prosecco.

I am inappropriately delirious with happiness though at my card from Her Thighness. With the precious words of my darling Dangly. My cup runneth over.

Sorry hellen. That I should be so happy when you are sad seems like a black and white French film.

DanglyTassles · 25/02/2019 20:31

Hurrah Hellen I'm rootin for you!

Thigh I am not digging that book left on your table, it tells me that I am a Monster Munch by dethinition! Some people are pure meanies!

thislido · 25/02/2019 20:33

I’ve been thinking about summer weight slankets. Wouldn’t be it be like of of those backless hospital gowns? Does anyone work in a hospital?

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 25/02/2019 20:38

thislido i love that card from your friend, we could aim lower though. Aim/Low = Thigh

Also hospital gown, i like the idea of subjecting people to my arse as i leave the room.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 25/02/2019 20:49

I've got my footwear sorted. 7 pairs of slippers, trainers for winter, flip flops for summer 🎆

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DanglyTassles · 25/02/2019 20:51

thigh I feel there would be a strong market for your cards!

If/when produced, please may I put in a pre-order for some Arse ones and also a few BASTARD cat ones and could I get a 'You repulse me' for dh on Valentine's. He will be touched that I finally sent him a Valentine card!

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 25/02/2019 20:52

DanglyTassles and a VD card from the heart expressing your true feelings. It's thromantic.

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ProjectGainsborough · 25/02/2019 20:53

hellen happy day or birth and sorry that rl is shit. There will always be a slanket for you thighland.

ProjectGainsborough · 25/02/2019 20:56

Barry performed well today. When asked for suggestions in meetings he barked wildly and when people approached our desk he shouted ‘fuck off, I'm sleeping!’

Demotion can’t be far away.

DanglyTassles · 25/02/2019 20:56

Yes yes!! I am feeling the thromance of it already.

< Sings 'King and I' song 'Could have daaanced all night' >

Luaa · 25/02/2019 20:57

thislido has got it right. You just say "I don't know about any one else, but I could use a drink" then you go off and get the prosecco, hoping no one else does want one.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 25/02/2019 21:02

Getting ummm, re dyeing your hair purple. Make sure you don't do your pubes because Marilyn Monroe had pink pubes and the FBI assassinated her. Just saying.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 25/02/2019 21:04
OP posts:
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 25/02/2019 21:05

ProjectGainsborough excellent reverse improvement - did he send out round robin abusive emails from [email protected]?

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DanglyTassles · 25/02/2019 21:06
thislido · 25/02/2019 21:09

I’ve just found BHS www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/3517955-dd-expects-photo-of-real-fairy

I think she’s lost but I didn’t like to interrupt the thread.

Gettingnowhere · 25/02/2019 21:09

See, Project, I told you Barry would be a roaring/swearing/cursing success

DanglyTassles · 25/02/2019 21:09

So is the summer uniform definitely hospital gowns then?

If we can't find a nurse to supply us could we fashion these from old men's shirts?

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