I can offer you solutions to all your problems *Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Do you have a problem? Bring it to Thighland and we will solve it for you.

After we have solved your problem we will nurse you back to full health and change your life for the better.....forever

Project i feel a short, well nourished, dark presence in the room. Where is the boy!?

Does the Dark Lord in Training have a chemistry set and an umbrella 🌂

It must by the small dark lord. He tricked me into revealing his presence on the thread by patting my chins soothingly. He has been demanding to know ‘how many likes’ he has.

Feed him chocolate quickly. That usually placates him.

Oh shit thigh that’s him. Chocolate! Quickly!

Gasps.......chocolate, eaten. Amulet?...

Thigh our glorious and wonderful Thigh are you going to be ok? Are you lying down?

I'm panicking so much I'm asking stupid questions!

THIGHHHHHH... What is this dark magic??? I cannot see how we've been breached. Have you let your inebriation or monster munch levels go down to dangerous levels??

Join me woman and ROAARRRRRR

There’s only one other way thigh.

You will have to watch dan the diamond Minecraft until your eyes bleed. I’m so sorry.

GETTING We're losing her. Do an emergency Paso Hakka asap!!

HUGHHH , OOOFFFFG, HOUGHHHH, EEEKKKKK

Haaahhhh haaaahhh haaaggghh

"Born Free, free as the grass grows..."

Quick, everyone join in

Sing, Haka, Doble, Munch, Roar... Thigh needs our help!

Surely the way to solve this is to pretend Thigh has asked for our advice to solve her problem and to give her proper Thigh advice?

Thigh, your remote has gone missing and you’ve got a bit of sore throat but you have plenty of milk and a slanket and it’s bedtime. LIE DOWN. Milky drink optional because I hate milk.

BORN FREE' UNTIL SOMEBODY CAUGHT ME, AS FREE AS THE WIND BLOWS DEFRIBULATOR SOMEONE!!!

FFS, SOMEONE SAVE OUR GREAT LEADER!!! (or take over; just saying .. can I have Elsa?)

The child will tire and leave you alone at some point. He’s not a “husband”. If not, Elsa will “cuddle” him.

Maybe you have labyrinthitis and will need to avoid typing and shizz, at least whilst Ra is around.

MrsCatE could to send Bastard Cat over to Thigh? He doesn’t sound child friendly.

Thigh, your are ever-living because autocorrect now knows to capitalise Thigh.

What if it's more serious than just a sore throat? We've been under attack before. Our enemies could be anywhere and stroke at any time. These are vulnerable times in a budding new nation

No, MrsCat keep Bastard cat in the cellar until he's learnt his lesson. Sending him out to scratch will be too much of a reward

The enemies are no match for our thighs and slankets and snacks.

The child shall be lured away with a trail of chocolate buttons.

Excellent idea Thislido. I think this situation calls for giant chocolate buttons.

Project!! Are you there? We need you as a consultant. We will pay you the same rate as we pay our other Thighland consultant and ourselves

RRROOAAAAARRRR

I am pacing our ramparts and battlements - from the comfort of a chaise lounge. Women of Thighland - what news yonder? Have I been tricked by haunted wax or a sentinent Fuckboy? I can't see a breach betwixt our thighs!