I can offer you solutions to all your problems *Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Do you have a problem? Bring it to Thighland and we will solve it for you.

After we have solved your problem we will nurse you back to full health and change your life for the better.....forever

Any suggestions for Lau, Thigh? Labyrinthitis?

Project if you were my manager and you wore a slanket i would revere you and possibly actually do some shizz.

Dangly shit, when is it Monday?

I agree thigh. With Barry at my side, demotion can’t be far away. Then I can get back to typing and blagging without having to pretend to be insane.

Totes labyrinthitis, 1 week, not provable or treatable. Likely to reoccur.

Getting it never is! Just pretend it never will be and be thappy!

Project take it from one who knows, typing, blagging n shizz is awesome. Save your thoughts and powers for funtimes.

Surely Lupus? That’s what it always is on House.

Project that's the spirit! Lupus! I used to use migraines but apparently they investigate that shizz now. I've always felt one day pcm plus 1 solid week twice a year sickness is only fair.

The thing is.. I made a huge mistake in my younger years with my choice of career. I wish I had you all to guide me back then. I teach teenagers ALL day 5 days a week, and it would be difficult for me to get through the day by smiling and shrugging.

HELP ME WISE THIGH

Don’t teenagers quite like sneaking off? Could you not just open a door and pretend not to see them as they left?

Lau that sounds just awful! You really shouldn't have done that, still I'm here to help.

Out of interest, what would happen if you smiled and shrugged? Might they do the same eventually?

Yes, Lau, you did make a mistake. You didn't make the most of your opportunities. Teenagers know where to get the best skunk

Lau as Project says, could you leave a door open? You could sell them weed too to keep them happy. I mean, if you want to.

You don't have to sell them weed. If you get the sack though, you've already built your client base. Always Be Closing.

Could you issue them with slankets and keep the heating high no encourage somnolence?

I will experiment on Monday with leaving the door open, smiling and shrugging. Hopefully they will be very tired from playing video games all night and take a nap.

It's my bedtime sisterhood xx

@thighofrelief101 issuing them with slammers! Excellent idea to encourage napping.

*slankets

getting your question was “ooh choo choo Twain, why scientist naked”

I have searched deep in my thigh to understand your wise question After much wine and snacks I have divined that This has two possible meanings
A) why choo choo Twain?
B) why scientist naked?

My answer is thus:
A) Out of my brain, on a train, I saw Helen, full uniform, singing Born Free, with Elsa next to her. I called out through the power of Thighland, but she could not hear my cry
B) All the better to experiment with my long queue

Lau you were right the first time: Issue them with slammers and slankets. An interesting combo.

Naked I'm so pleased you are home and it's very fortuitous as i had just set myself on fire to alleviate the boredom.

However, having read your incisive analysis has caused me to piss myself laughing thusly quenching the dangerous conflagration.

Naked i had not realised that you saw Hellen on a train with Elsa. Who was in charge? Is Hellen in fact a Mountie?

Did you wave your queue, for that is the signal. Perhaps you made the mistake of waving at Hellen when it was Elsa who would have responded.

The force is so very strong in you, i think you have nothing but Thigh coursing through you.