I can offer you solutions to all your problems *Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Do you have a problem? Bring it to Thighland and we will solve it for you.

After we have solved your problem we will nurse you back to full health and change your life for the better.....forever

Kleptronic welcome drunkard (no judgement). Did your dog bring you safely home from the walk? Did he lead you to the secret bridlepath?

I can see there is much to catch up on as I have been resting all day.

Here to report another Miracle of Thigh.

Some may recall my urgent problem of last night Re the piss of a thousand fuckboys wrecking my external walls?

Well because of the Collective power of all that is Thigh, this is now resolved. Another neighbour texted me today while I was resting to say she will ring the Man O Work so no need for me to do anything.

All hail the mighty Thigh!

Grinchly all power to the lore of Thigh.

All your problems have been solved, without even a Krispy Kreme this time. What of the Fuckboys and piss though?

Have you removed the yellow handkerchief from your back pocket? Were they perhaps innocently displaying their wares for your delectation?

Grinchly, go forth, spread the world. Tell your friends Thighland is open and eager to solve all their problems

Getting my internet nursing powers are waning. Should I go down to my GP surgery with a small desk and set up in the waiting room ready to dispense the message.

It would be so liberating at the mums and babies clinic.

Oh yes Thigh. Get them young

Think we might also be a bit too good at solving problems

I know, sigh. When Thighland was a mere speck i ministered to so many weeping and bereft maidens.

Maybe that is the thource of the problem Thigh. I may have been giving off some powerful come hither messages in my own menopausal yet subtle way ( not yellow handkerchief wise tho, I have no use for them, make do with my sleeve)

I am tremendously interested in the Thigh mother n baby clinic plan. Maybe take Elsa along to keep the ankle biters in check?

Could it be possible that i have solved every single problem in the whole wide world?

I dealt with Brexit on page 1 of Birth of a Thnation after all.

If my work is complete then I am complete for you are my purpose as you know.

However, could there be poor, dear souls who remain unattended?

Well Grinchly i think you should come too. We can dispense gin and fags to all the downtrodden mums and beseech them to leave their shackles/"babies" behind and come to Glorious Thighland.

Can I come too? I am but a small and humble elf, but I can stand on my head

Getting you seem bright, tell me what is the term for someone who has sex with elves? Is it simosexual?

Is that monkies or elves or Monkees or swingers?

Obviously a sinosexual would be someone who has sex with Chinese dictators, but that is Naked (no judgement but aptly named).

It is "horny", Your Thighness

Do elves have horns? I thought it was just pointy ears.

So far Naked has bedded:

Lau Kim Korn
Chiang Kai Shek
Chau En Lai
Mao Tse Tung

She really gets around.

She must have a mobility scooter 🛴

Elsa is furious, i must tend to her xx

Naked never answered my question

Elves have all sorts of things, Thighmaster

thigh and getting I loves ya
Both however bed and drunkenness calls! Oooh!! Like Scary Spice!! So see yas tomorrow 😶

I fear there are still many unattended souls. Only today I have had to steer two misguided women away from the lure of “diets”.

Maybe they are confused by the thread title. It was provoked by Mumsnet’s unwise sidelining of the Thwisdom, but the lost souls know not what Thighland is and do not realise it is where problems are solved.

I’ve given up trying to understand what is going on here. Did the fuckboys turn on us? Why is everybody drunk?

I’m still in my hovel. The child is showing ever greater tendencies to the dark side. His internet browsing history indicates an interest in pig rearing and plastic sheeting. Do you think he’s onto us?

Awww Dangly put your gin doused tassels to bed xx