Men on a post natal ward

[RogueV]

The guy in the next bay is pissing me right off.
He just asked the midwife for a bed. Dick.

Why are they allowed to stay anyway? Shouldn’t they be going home?

Sorry just ranting.

Yeh Moaning because that’s exactly what I meant. 🙄

Men don’t need to be there through the night.

And actually I was a single parent first time round so spending the first night on my own with a newborn was terrifying, not only because I was sore, exposed and vulnerable but because I had this new baby to look after all on my own.

I didn’t have great care, I couldn’t wait to get out of there. DS hadn’t fed properly, I couldn’t get help with feeding until the next morning. It was pretty shit. I wouldn’t go back there, and I opted for the next three at home - and post labour wards were a big factor in that.

Better care is what is needed, not more people who aren’t patients.

Please make formal complaints if you object to this policy.

I'm a member of the local Trust and they polled their members on whether partners should be allowed to stay overnight on the postnatal ward as part of a policy review. I voted no, as did many others, and it was decided partners cannot stay overnight. MNHQ conducted a survey as part of their campaign for better postnatal care and the majority of respondents did not want partners to stay overnight in shared bays.

Because I'm not afraid of men? Alright mate

It's not about being afraid of men, it's about protecting women's right to access medical care without having to share sleeping space, living space, and resources with non-patients.

Weetabix that's awful. Truly awful. My experience was similar.

I don’t think fathers should leave vulnerable newborns and women who have just given birth alone in the hospital unless there is absolutely no other option. Dad needs to be there 24/7. The woman needs to rest and there needs to be a parent with the newborn at all times. Never let them take the baby away from mom’s side without a parent as escort.

“I’m not saying stuff everyone else, I’m just saying stuff anyone who doesn’t want to share their hospital room with other people’s partners.”

It's not their hospital room though. You have a say over your own bedspace. Not someone else's bedspace.

Is it:
a) 97% of sex offences are committed by men;

But the way some people are talking on here you'd think that 97% of all men commit sex offences.

Im sure the vast majority of fathers want to be with their partner and baby and aren't interested in looking at other women who have just given birth. If my partner was like that I wouldn't be with him. Women clearly need to choose better partners if this is how they act.

I'm sure there are a few strange ones. I was in for 2 or 3 days after having both my children and I didn't see any men doing anything other than attending to their partner and baby. What I did see were distressed women being ignored by midwives, midwives rolling eyes because someone buzzed, midwives telling women in pain they had to walk to the end of a corridor if they wanted something to eat. I was told this and I had a catheta still in. When my partner asked why I hadn't been brought something the midwife hadn't realised I had been rushed to theatre and still had a catheta in. I had tried to explain but was told she was busy.

I'm so glad I won't be giving birth again. I have a daughter and will possibly have a DIL in future. We will be paying for them to have their babies privately if they would like to.

I love the generalising that any man on a post natal ward is a menace/crap partner/rude /ignorant.
A ward is a public place with each women wanting/needing somthing different. Does you wanting no men trump the 1st time anxious mum who has had a c section really needing her partner there?

I think with the reduced staffing it's safer to allow partners who as others have said save lives and help make what can be a daunting time easier.

Seline

I don't think anyone that hasn't been through something like this can understand.

I'm sorry too for what happened to you.

What the fuck? So what if I have twins? what does that have to do with men on the ward?

sigh.

It is the hospital room they are staying in.

Just like when I was in a surgical ward a few months after giving birth, I was sharing a room with other patients.

‘Bed-space’ means bugger all when the next bed is 18 inches away from you. They are not soundproof private cubicles. Have you never been on a shared ward before?

Don't be swearing now Seline.

Weetabix I don't think they do either. I woke up thinking my babies were dead and then was told one was going to die. Several times i was told she had a few hours, sometimes at 4am. If I'd been alone I'd probably have developed severe PND.

Thankfully she's fine.

@Weetabixandshreddies - you are absolutely right - I should not have generalised that way. I do believe that staffing levels were better back then, and in my experience, women got the care they needed without needing to have their partners there to give it - but that is only my experience and I am sorry if I upset you by my generalisation.

I don't really care what you want Costner. You focus on your baby and I'll focus on mine.

Can't believe I've been wasting my time on someone who can't muster up any empathy or understanding that in a bay of 6 women, there's a fair to high chance that at least one will have been assaulted or abused at some point, given the statistics and that those women may or may not have concerns or even trauma at the forced presence of men. Guess they're just judgemental, prejudiced, silly women though eh
And that's just one reason male presence isn't always welcome.

Dad needs to be there 24/7.

They really don't.

@OrchidInTheSun

Wrt your "still stewing about it" comment - do you take that stance with everyone that has had a traumatic experience in their lives?

Bed-space’ means bugger all when the next bed is 18 inches away from you. They are not soundproof private cubicles. Have you never been on a shared ward before?

I have. They're rubbish. But they're rubbish regardless of men being there or not

and one morning I called him at 5 to come back as they were going to remove my catheter and I wanted him back with me!

2isabella2. Seriously? You called him in at 5am for this?

yeah, not to play shit hospital stays one-upmanship, but yes lots of us have had bad births and had losses that requires hospital stays. It is shit and horrible. And I am fine with the side-rooms being reserved for women who’ve been or are going through that, so their partners can be with them 24/7 if they want.