Men on a post natal ward

[RogueV]

The guy in the next bay is pissing me right off.
He just asked the midwife for a bed. Dick.

Why are they allowed to stay anyway? Shouldn’t they be going home?

Sorry just ranting.

Ahh the oldies and their conservative viewpoints!

Nothing to do with dignity and vulnerability. Just not woke enough.

Seline, I find you very disingenuous.

Anyway who knows who anyone is online, eh!

Yup. That too weetabix. Kinda what I said ages ago.

But why are you all so willing to take this shit care?

Again, why do you insist on being deliberately obtuse? Or are you really a complete dolt?
I don't see men like that, either.

Why am I disingenuous? Because I don't judge people by their genitalia?

I don't know why there has to be a war between men and women. We are all just trying to do out best, regardless of sex.

Other than the specific group of post natal women, where it is seen fit to use partners as alternatives to nursing care and allow them to roam wards 24hours per day.

Other than the specific group of post natal women AND BABIES, where it is seen fit to use partners as FATHERS and allow them to LOOK AFTER THEIR CHILD 24hours per day.

Please make formal complaints if you object to this policy.

😂 how twee.

I don't think men should be allowed to stay overnight. I was lucky when I was in having my babies that most of the partners just wanted to look after their partner and baby. But not all partners are nice. Also if partners are allowed to visit all the time the issue of staff shortage will never be sorted. Partners will be expected to look after their partner and baby and tough luck if your partner can't stay.

Personally I found the other visitors were much worse than the partners. More than 1 pervy grandad peering round all the closed curtains. People loudly speculating about why I didn't have a baby with me, one mil who loudly went on about how well her son had coped with the birth to her dil who'd had a difficult delivery and a baby with a birth injury. General selfishness and not considering that some women are poorly and/or have poorly babies, they're in a hospital not a party. My local hospital has introduced open visiting during the day for anyone who feels like dropping in. Thank goodness I have finished having babies and don't have to experience that.

O4FS

What are your solutions then?

Blanche unless you see men as dangerous, there is no reason to be more upset by a male patient than a female one. Same with visitors.

None of you seem to be willing to stand up and say 'This is unacceptable'. Everyone seems willing to say 'ah ye, but it's the NHS, it's underfunded innit'.
This is your healthcare! Lol
I can never understand it.

Not so much genitalia, more reproductive organs. Which is quite important to this whole debate. 🙄

So why do you think women are generally more worried about sexual assault by men than men are by women, Seline?

Is it:
a) 97% of sex offences are committed by men;
b) they’re anti-male weirdos who judge people by their genitals?

53rdWay because males commit more sex crimes. That doesn't mean you should view every male as a potential sex offender. You're more likely to be assaulted by someone you know than someone else's husband you've just met.

Costner77
Lots of us do try to change things.

We also realise that we are fortunate to have the NHS, for all its faults and that the level of care women are advocating for here are never going to happen. The ratio of staff to women would be too high for it to be affordable

My hospital allows a birth partner to stay 24/7. I know this because I asked the midwife if my husband could take the baby home while I am kept on the ward post-surgery. She was horrified, but frankly I am not maternal and I am scared senseless at the idea of being left alone with a newborn (I have zero experience with babies) post-surgery (I will be having a cs) for hours at a time. I have do not think it is at all acceptable that the postnatal ward staff will expect me to look after a baby while I am a post-operative patient. The baby will have two parents - one who will be medically fit and one who will not. Either the hospital allow the baby to be sent home with the parent who is medically fit, or they keep the entire family unit together.

I understand why people do not want men on the wards, but equally those same people need to show some compassion to those desperate for support at an extremely vulnerable time. Not everyone is the same, and provision should be made to allow both groups to feel secure and cared for.

Seline do the people who know you in RL suffer from frequent bouts of whiplash by any chance? Talking to you is like banging my head against a brick wall, I can't even give you full replies because they are futile. Facts are wasted on you. You aren't taking in information. You keep missing the point. It isn't worth anyone's time.

Weetabix - I'm sorry you're still stewing about this. You had poor post-natal care and it's absolutely unacceptable. But that doesn't mean your husband should have been allowed to stay. It means that the hospital should have provided better care.

Seline men are violent. They are responsible for the overwhelming majority of violent crime.

That’s quite apart from the arguments around dignity and privacy and the right to single sex wards which the NHS upholds in other circumstances.

I AM upset by a male on my ward!

How would you feel Seline if Wonderful Walter wasn't there and you're on your own and Peeping Philip sticks his head in to your cubicle? Walter ain't there to protect you now!

That's how other women feel about your husband being on the ward.

The initial comment was:

you’ve just had countless people with hands here there and everywhere to care whether a glimpse is captured. Concentrate on your baby.

You've been through an undignified process where people have had their hands here, there, and everywhere so shouldn't care if someone else (i.e., someone's partner) catches an inadvertent (or not so inadvertent) glimpse. Concentrate on your baby rather than worrying about who is sharing your bay.

Then the follow up, to clarify the vile statement, was the equally vile:

I’m saying it’s amazing how happy some women are when multiples hands have been up their vagina but they’re get pissy at partners in the ward who are sat behind a curtain supporting their partner and new baby because a ‘man is in my space’

Basically you were happy to have a (medically qualified) stranger shove their hand up your vagina but you dare to complain about Darren staying overnight with his wife with nothing but a curtain seperating you? You consented to one therefore you have no right not to consent to the other....

And then because it wasn't quite vile enough:

what I am saying is having just given birth and all that comes with it, if a man accidentally (being the key word) caught a glimpse of my backside or wherever else, I wouldn’t care less if it meant he was able to support his partner and newborn child

It doesn't matter if someone's partner catches a glimpse at your bits it doesn't matter because they are there for a noble purpose.

That doesn't mean you should view every male as a potential sex offender.

So when it comes to sharing my sleeping space with a man I don’t know, how should I tell the difference? Do the bad ones all come with horns and a snarl?