Men on a post natal ward

[RogueV]

The guy in the next bay is pissing me right off.
He just asked the midwife for a bed. Dick.

Why are they allowed to stay anyway? Shouldn’t they be going home?

Sorry just ranting.

Must switch off now but just to reiterate:

Please complain about this policy if you or a loved one experiences it's bad effects.

Renember the selfish people certainly don't hesitate in taking that mile!

The problem with pushing to family care is you cut down on staff and then those without family to help are screwed.
They won't keep enough HCP's on standby in case no one gas family care, they'll just cut numbers.

Tell you what Seline, next time you have a baby, or need to go to hospital as an inpatient, don't bother.
Just stay at home and have your lovely comforting family to attend your every need, after all they can do it so much better than those common nurses it seems.

IFamily care isn't for everyone. I'd be more uncomfortable with family or friends caring for me than someone who does it as a job

did you really not want your partner there with you all the time?

My partner is lovely. But he’s a total stranger to the woman in the next bed, as hers is to me.

Also for those of you that say it's a compromise for partners to be there in the daytime or even want reduced visiting times in daytime did you all have your babies with you? It's one thing sitting on the ward with your baby totally different with empty arms

Ifanygow

I have high risk pregnancies, I don't want homebirths and can't have them anyway.

Surely they should be happy I've got relatives with me to care for me, they have less work to do that way. The only issue I can see is the one someone raised about staff being cut because people will assume everyone has family.

Gosh please tell me the names of all these employers who provide fully paid leave for family members to feed and wash patients in hospital. And to change the sheets of course.

And you're feeding that issue Seline.

Ifangyow This part may be selfish of me, but I'm not going to do something I'm uncomfortable with because it may encourage the government to hire more nurses.

MNR.

Would you be okay with needing kidney surgery and arriving to see that you will be sharing your six-bed bay with eleven other people of mixed sexes? Or would you, quite rightly, tell staffing it is overcrowded and that NHS has a published commitment to providing single sex accomodation?

did you really not want your partner there with you all the time? I really wanted my partner there to help me, help with the baby, to just be together as a family in those first few hours and days. I can't imagine not wanting him there. Are your partners not helpful ?

My husband is very helpful, very supportive, good dad, good husband, all round good guy. I still didn't see a need for him to be there overnight. Hospital is for rest and recovery, home is for family time.

I think its a great idea having the partner there to help, a lot of you make out all men are Perverts or watching you..I doubt any actually care about anybody else bar their partner.......but all you "No kick him out" posters would you have a problem if it was a female in with their wife? .....being loud or "looking" at you..... I bet not!

That's not some kind of "ahaa, gotcha you sexist bitches!" statement that you think it is I wouldn't want anyone being loud or "looking" at me, (whatever "looking" is) when I've just been through a traumatic, lengthy, exhausting emotional ordeal.

I would have less problem with 60 year old Maureen who has three children herself and who is with her daughter whose just given birth than 40 year old John who is with girlfriend after having her first.

I don't want a random (to me) man having access to me or my newborn overnight when the wards are quieter, new mothers and newborns are trying to sleep, there is little activity going on outside the ward and it's darker.

I used to think it was unfair to not let fathers stay. Then I was in an abusive relationship with a man who fucking loved making women feel inferior and uncomfortable, he was also sexually abusive. I tend to think of him, or other men I've come across, the ones who make lewd comments or just loud comments, or are inappropriate and make you roll your eyes silently at what a dick they are, the ones whose eyes linger on you and make you feel uncomfortable, the ones who don't wash themselves or their clothes properly so they smell, the ones who fart and think its funny, or poo and don't open a window after, the ones who think they're whispering but they're loud as fuck etc etc. And I imagine being trapped, with limited leg function, bleeding uncontrollably from my vagina, sore and exhausted, with engorged tits, with those men and I think "like fuck!"

What EwItsaHooman said.
With big clanking bells on.
🏥🚷🚷🚷

Shouldn’t be such a thing as shared wards in this day and age - that’s the crux of the problem. If everyone had private rooms to themselves to recover in peace and quiet it would be much better. I did as I gave birth abroad in a private hospital, no shared wards and someone could stay with you 24/7 if you wanted. We did have to pay for it but it was the best money I spent having my DDs.

But it’s a pipe dream for NHS due to money so women have to suck it up sad

This! Glasgow's new hospital. Every unit all single, en-suite rooms, bar ICU/HDU and one area. Take a guess.

Loads of places demand 'curtains open', too. Because they're understaffed. There have been many threads on that, too.

I've read it all now- do some people just get a kick from being contrary?!
Fuck ya if you don't have a family willing or able to nurse you, or if your personal dignity doesn't allow for it, seline believes that nurses should be nursing people with more important needs as judged by...god knows.

did you really not want your partner there with you all the time?

My husband needed to get some sleep to better support me the first time and thereafter he needed to look after our other children.

Not one woman here has posted that Perfect Peter was anything other than perfect. Yet, you've tens of women telling you that Perfect Peter is a fucking pain in the arse. Funny that.
Seems to me that people only care about themselves and Perfect Peter or Helpful Horatio as it may be.
We're telling you that Peter and Horatio, while perfectly helpful to you, are a fucking pain in the arse to us. We don't want to see Peter or Horatio when we struggle to the bathroom with milk flowing down our night-gown. We just don't want them there!
We don't want Gawping George, Loud Liam, Snoring Simon, Shitting Sed, Leering Lynus, Adoring Adolf, Boring Bernard or any other version of your husbands.
WE DON'T WANT THEM THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yet, in they come. Like fucking rats in off the street. I get so annoyed.

I would worry a lot about hospitals shifting to family-based care. I worked in a nursing home for a while where we got patients discharged from hospital who’d previously been cared for by family. Most families were obviously doing all they could, but some were utterly and dangerously awful and you wouldn’t know just be looking at them. “Oh, Mum fell” when Mum’s got a footprint-shaped bruise on her back.

Good for you if you have nice family who are willing and able to care for you, and a hospital willing and able to give you your own en-suite room. But we can’t base a national maternity system around you and your circumstances alone.

Don't forget farting Fred and Jake the joker

I agree, Costner! 100%.

The ward was also not built for that sort of occupancy. So accommodating double the number it's designed for it always going to lead to problems.

Not to mention there are not enough toilets.