Men on a post natal ward

[RogueV]

The guy in the next bay is pissing me right off.
He just asked the midwife for a bed. Dick.

Why are they allowed to stay anyway? Shouldn’t they be going home?

Sorry just ranting.

As a compromise, yes, although I think there should be a short period in the middle of the day for quiet, rest, and privacy for rounds like in the first hospital I delivered at.

I think its fair enough to have a gap in visiting in the day for rounds. That would then mean that the women who didn't want to talk about blood loss etc in front of other men would have some privacy. I do think that when the rounds are not happening, including overnight, then it would be beneficial for many women to have their partners to be allowed to stay as long as they are quiet.

I wonder where the voices of Muslim women are in this debate. I can't imagine them being willing to be in a situation like this.

I don't only care about myself, I care about other women like me who were physically unwell and vulnerable and who need that support.

I think its a great idea having the partner there to help, a lot of you make out all men are Perverts or watching you..I doubt any actually care about anybody else bar their partner.......but all you "No kick him out" posters would you have a problem if it was a female in with their wife? .....being loud or "looking" at you..... I bet not!

Personally I found the men more intrusive during the daytime as the curtains have to stay open. So you have mums with both boobs out, trying to establish breastfeeding, bonding and getting to know their newborns, bleeding out, all under the gaze of not just strangers, fellow mothers, but the male gaze.
Although I can see why for some women, it's the night times which would be more intimidating.

Also people saying more HCPs would solve the problem. Why should HCPs have to be getting people water or helping them shower? If possible relatives can do this and it frees up nurses for dealing with medical problems, and it's nicer for the woman to be cared for by family rather than a stranger.

I think its a great idea having the partner there to help, a lot of you make out all men are Perverts or watching you..I doubt any actually care about anybody else bar their partner.......but all you "No kick him out" posters would you have a problem if it was a female in with their wife? .....being loud or "looking" at you..... I bet not!

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itsyersel agreed!

I know in some countries family care is normal in hospital.

Is that how people want it in the UK? Despite the added infection risks?

I'm surprised.

Not all men are staring or looking for perverted reasons, but it's hard not to look directly opposite you or to either side thanks to the lay-out of the wards. Still doesn't mean it makes for a pleasant experience.

I don't want everyone's mother their partner or best friend either tbh.

At this rate we will go back to a thriving private hospital sector..

but all you "No kick him out" posters would you have a problem if it was a female in with their wife? .....being loud or "looking" at you..... I bet not!

I think there should be no overnight visitors, male or female, and that it should be patients only during the night.

I hate to break this to you Seline, but that IS fundamental nursing.
It's not all about paperwork and meds.

ifangyow who would want that though? Much nicer for it to be your husband and or mum. I had both with me at different times due to childcare and it really helped.

I have had 6 in various hospitals.With two I was admitted quite a while before the baby was born and stayed a while after. The best experience I had was on a ward with 6 other women where there were strict visiting hours for partners. I was actually I’ll then so It did mean that I had to cope with newborn baby and drip etc but my god it was better than being in a heavily crowded ward where everyone kept their curtains shut but still managed to be incredibly loud. I also
Disliked waiting for men to
Finish in the toilet/bathroom.seriously what do they do in there for that long.

Had 2 in a hospital where every mother had their own room. Nice from a privacy point of view BUT I was there for only 8 days and I felt like I was in prison with someone just bringing me meals each day. My husband couldn’t stay all day he was working and caring for our other children so I spent most of the 8 days alone and bored!

Men should not be allowed to stay on post natal wards. They are not patients. Women who need help should be able to rely on the staff. In any other part of the hospital there would be outrage if it was suggested family members need to sleep in to meet the basic care needs of the patient.

Why should HCPs have to be getting people water or helping them shower?

What?

Would that be said of any other department in a hospital than one where only women are patients?

I agree there needs to be a time during the day for ward rounds where the men have to leave. I wouldn't have wanted my stitches checked with a load of male partners just on the other side of a curtain.

Kate I wouldn't have a problem with family care, I vastly prefer it.

Would that be said of any other department in a hospital than one where only women are patients?

I think it's better generally for it to be carried out by people the patient is comfortable with.

Does your vision of family care extend to all parts of the hospital, Seline? Patients in coronary care? How about renal? Oncology?

6 times the mess, I understand your points though I've less experience in maternity than you! I've been in hospitals over the years for different things.

I believe being on a ward can have advantages for patients over single rooms.

But a ward needs to be managed.

If there is one time that life should be about women it is birthing. Not centering men, not putting their ‘wants’ first. A space where women can be vulnerable, naked, healing.

I agree with having separate areas, but I don’t think the NHS is in a position to put beds aside just in case.

If there was more support for homebirths for low risk women, it might alliviate some of the pressure MWs face.

(If you are considering a homebirth, I would recommend it. None of this shit, your own bed and you don’t have to wear flip flops in the shower you’ve had to clean yourself).

Seline. Nicer for your mum or husband to pour your water, rather than a nurse?
Why, do they pour it from a bloody Crystal decanter into a Crystal glass with ice and slice, as opposed to a plastic jug and beaker?
You know, like your friend gentle watsits there, you don't half come out with some rubbish.

Lady

If possible, I don't see why relatives shouldn't help out with the minor/every day tasks like washing, fetching food and drink, fetching new bedding etc. It's nicer for the patient and means the staff can focus on more serious matters and people who don't have relatives.

Also for those of you that say it's a compromise for partners to be there in the daytime or even want reduced visiting times in daytime, did you really not want your partner there with you all the time? I really wanted my partner there to help me, help with the baby, to just be together as a family in those first few hours and days. I can't imagine not wanting him there.

Are your partners not helpful ? I do know that my mum wouldn't have wanted my dad there but he was completely useless, never changed a nappy and just generally wasn't a good husband or father.