Men on a post natal ward

[RogueV]

The guy in the next bay is pissing me right off.
He just asked the midwife for a bed. Dick.

Why are they allowed to stay anyway? Shouldn’t they be going home?

Sorry just ranting.

The care on post natal wards is dire. I didn't see any midwives, when I rang for some pain relief, one eventually arrived looking surprised I'd rang. Said they couldn't 'dispense prescriptions' and asked if I'd brought any paracetamol. Didn't see any other professionals until the paediatric consultant who signed us out the next morning.

Clues in the name: Health Care Professionals.

Because male HCL's won't be using the patient toilets, demanding a bed, talking into their phone til late at night, be making rude comments about pee left in bowls in the loo, be aggressive, rude, or staring.

The problem isn't that YOUR DH would do those things it's that some men do and when it comes to rules, you have to have blanket rules.
If you don't want a male HCP then you can usually be accommodated and thry can have a different patient. If you don't want your neighbours husband snoring next to you all night but rules say he can, your stuffed.

The reasons given amount to women not wanting strange men seeing them while vulnerable.

You can’t see why anyone would distinguish between Dr Joe Bloggs the anaesthetist, and Joe random stranger you know nothing about other than that he’s successfully impregnated the woman in the next bed? Honestly?

Seline I get what you are saying but you are only looking at it from your own experience.

I don't think people should have to be alone overnight when they feel vulnerable

There are HCPs there.

Seline it's a patient's right to request a professional of their own sex, as I'm sure you know. No need for the faux naive goady question.

I don't think people should have to be alone overnight when they feel vulnerable
So should be provide pull out beds on e ery single ward in the hospital so everyone can have someone with them? By definition most people staying over night have some level of vulnerability

I'd like to know how I'd had managed (painfully) hand expressing colostrum into a syringe at 2am it I'd not had DH with me, whilst crying from pure exhaustion.

DBS check is merely a snapshot though. Someone could go and commit a crime th3 day afterwards and still have a clear DBS because it was done previously.

I don't understand why they can't just kick out the men who are behaving inappropriately. Some visitors are helpful and some are not but it seems horrible to ban all male visitors on the basis that some are awkward. I'm not for a minute suggesting that obnoxious men should be allowed in.

There are HCPs there.

That doesn't stop someone feeling vulnerable. I'm less reassured by HCPs than by family.

You would have managed because you would have had to.

You think those men who don’t ‘act appropriately’ are going to go quietly?

One talking loudly on a mobile phone would piss me off. Can we kick him out?

So should be provide pull out beds on e ery single ward in the hospital so everyone can have someone with them?

No. They have chairs by the beds, they can sleep there. That's what DH did, he never requested anything at all.

Well, no, I wouldn't - it was actually impossible to be squeezing with one hand and balancing a syringe on my nipple and pulling it down with the other to catch it whatever came out.

I was shown how to do this once by a student midwife. No one else was able to spend the time.

I also don't get the point about sharing patient toilets. I find it very difficult to believe that there is no separate provision of a visitor toilet, if not on the ward then somewhere in the hospital. There is no need for overnight partners to use the patient loo.

Bottom line is complain, complain, complain.

Or if you prefer : Give them policy feedback.

I remember wanting to complain about ward cleaning ( or lack thereof) nurse told me it was contracted out and I didn't pursue it ( though she encouraged me!) But once I was at home, looking after the newborn was my priority..

So if I was close to anyone affected by problems with post natal care, I'd do what I could to help them "give feedback" at the correct level.

If we don't complain the assumption is this is what people want.

DH also slept on a chair - a plastic school type chair.

As I said early, there's people (not just men) who behave wrong everywhere and that's what needs to be dealt with.

There was a mother opposite me who had loud argument with her 'partner' and his mum over the phone constantly, swearing etc. Way worse than any of the men that were on the ward.

Hand express into a little sterile cup (they have loads of them on the ward) and draw it into the syringe afterwards.

@LadyGregorysToothbrush actually that's a very good suggestion and one I will remember. Shame no one told me that at the time and I was too sleep addled to think of it!

No problem

I didn’t bother with the syringe, just handexpressed into the little cup and my DD sort of lapped it up like a little puppy - the cup had a little lip on it so you could tilt it towards the baby’s mouth.

I don't understand why they can't just kick out the men who are behaving inappropriately.

If they’re too understaffed to help women with basic medical care, how are they going to manage monitoring the behaviour of all the men and kicking out the inappropriate ones on top of that?

I've already posted that I would have liked to have my partner there to help. I do think that if the majority of women are uncomfortable with men being there though, then that should be respected.

But for those that don't think men should be able to stay overnight, do you mind them being there in the daytime ? If you do, then I can understand you also not wanting them there at night but if you don't then I don't really understand. Although the staff turn the lights down and try to make it feel like night, it never really felt any different from the day. Babies were still crying, mums were awake and feeding, changing etc. Most women wore pyjamas day and night. So whats the difference if men are there at night ?

I think someone said uothread that that is the compromise. Or used to be!

9 til 9 open visiting for partners.