Men on a post natal ward

[RogueV]

The guy in the next bay is pissing me right off.
He just asked the midwife for a bed. Dick.

Why are they allowed to stay anyway? Shouldn’t they be going home?

Sorry just ranting.

Someone having an operation isn't expected to care for a newborn baby.

Why is there not a similar argument to allow partners to stay when people are in hospital for other procedures? Someone having an operation isn't expected to have their partner there all night.

Really - you need to ask?

Seline why do you think they were using your toilet?

Because they wanted to spite you?
Or because the ones on the ward were dirty / being used to all the men?

I find it hard to believe that throughout the babies NICU stay you returned to your private loo. My room was floors away from NICU, and I needed a wheelchair to get there and back. If I'd have returned to my own loo every time I needed a pee I'd have never been on NICU!

And if you were so ill you couldn't even touch a surface someone else had touched then you shouldnt have been on a post natal ward

But seline earlier you said you found it annoying, not dangerous as it was an infection risk. Never mind about the risks for all the other plebs using the shared bathroom then eh. And the male visitors putting the patients at risk by using the said bathroom, who you think are entitled to be there.
As pp said, good luck to you.

Yes we should ask because until very recently is was not the norm to have overnight visitors!

Then women who had more exceptional circumstances ime did have a private room , partner allowed to stay etc.

Yes, I do need to ask!

A post natal ward should have the staff to deal with mums and babies. It shouldn't have to rely on partners picking up the slack. That wouldn't happen anywhere else in the hospital.

It's not good for women to have men sleeping on a car just a curtain's breadth away from them when they are at their most vulnerable. It may well be that you want your partner there but if it's a ward, then nobody else will want him there and their needs should have priority. In emergency cases then of course things are different and those women should be in a private room.

You've obviosy been through a traumatic time with your babies. I actually think hospitals with a NICU need to provide a better level of care for parents whose babies aren't with them (doubly so for parents whose babies have died).

I found it annoying because there was a sign very clearly stating not to use it.

Obviously at times I had to use other loos but I used to wipe the seats with those green hospital wipes.

As I've said I think every woman should have a private room and bathroom personally.

My DH was in with my for the entirety of my stay, both times. I had a PDPH from the epidural from my EMCS and was pumping for a NICU baby, I couldn't go to the toilet without nearly passing out and had to pump lying on my side because of the lack of pressure in my spinal cord. If my DH hadn't been there, I genuinely don't know what would happen, I was screaming and crying in pain for 8 hours before I was offered any painkillers by midwives, despite the consultant anaesthetist instructing them to keep to the times stated on my chart. DH was absolutely respectful of everyone else and helped other women carry their dinner and lunch trays. He was more helpful than the appalling HCAs.

Until there's 1:3 or 1:4 ratio for women to Midwives, men are a necessary evil.

Sleeping I agree, the care on the ward was awful. I've had two nicu stays (term singleton and prem twins) and had rubbish post natal care both times.

Obviously at times I had to use other loos but I used to wipe the seats with those green hospital wipes
Well there's the answer. Presumably you had to do that any way as DH used it or are you seriously saying he was using the ward loo?

I agree Re private rooms, like I said DH stayed over 3 nights in our room on agreement he used the vistiros loo if necessary and not the patients one but I can understand and empathise with the people who wouldn't have wanted to see him outside of my room past visiting hours

But of course there is a lots more practical help needed to care for a newborn post op - pass me the baby, nappy, etc, etc, HCPs can't do that for you and be sat your beck and call. Birth partner can.

Partners were not allowed to stay overnight when I had my 2 which I am really grateful for. They were allowed to visit between 9am - 9pm.

I had a Cat 1 EMCS under general anesthetic due to placental abruption with my DC2. He was delivered at 7.30pm and it was just after 9pm before they took me down to post-natal. DP was allowed to see us in and say goodbye then had to leave just like all the other partners. I have to admit I felt bad for DP having to leave after witnessing the car crash that was the birth and then nearly loosing both me and DS.

I had a morphine IV and a catheter and was still pretty dazed from the GA but I managed for the two nights we were kept in. I had to buzz for a midwife on the first night who changed DC nappy and passed him to me. The midwives propped us up with pillows as DS would only sleep on my chest and I couldn't move to put him back down. I spent most of the first night topless as BF so although it was tough it was absolute relief that partners were not allowed to stay overnight.

Also, on our second night (no catheter) I had to just leave DS in the cot to go and use the toilet which was fair enough as no-one was allowed on/off the ward.

I was screaming and crying in pain for 8 hours before I was offered any painkillers by midwives, despite the consultant anaesthetist instructing them to keep to the times stated on my chart.

This happened to me also. I genuinely believe some midwives on postnatal have a sadistic streak and for some reason enjoy withholding pain relief.

The midwives propped us up with pillows

Dreams of this parallel universe...

What do the people who don't want men staying think of male HCPs? I've had two male midwives who I loved, one on a ward, one community. The community midwife told me it's quite common for women to request a different midwife instead of a male one.

Male HCPs are completely different to Partners. Not comparable.

This is a few years ago..

It's a public space. It's a hospital not your own hotel. You shouldn't get to dictate who comes to visit other people

Well quite, it's a hospital not a hotel therefore only patients should be there overnight.

04FS Why? The reasons given amount to women not wanting strange men seeing them while vulnerable.

I also had a male midwife in labour. And during was examined many times, and delivered/stitched by a male consultant. It didn't even cross my mind they were male...just realised now you mention it!

Well quite, it's a hospital not a hotel therefore only patients should be there overnight

I don't think people should have to be alone overnight when they feel vulnerable.

I didn’t care about having male HCPs for maternity, but I’ve known a fair few people who really really didn’t want that, for reasons you can probably imagine.

coffee it never bothered me nor did having male doctors. I'm not really that fussed what someone's sex is if I'm honest.

What do the people who don't want men staying think of male HCPs?

HCPs are not the same as partners staying overnight. One is a trained professional who has been DBS check and is working under supervision, you can request chaperone if you want one (and for initiate examinations there is a female one there as standard) and you can ask for a different HCP if you're not comfortable with the one allocated to you.

None of that really applies to Shiela in Bed 3's partner, does it?