Being a single mum is proper graft isn't it - come on in single mums

[Janeyscleavage]

And no you can't join if you 'feel like a single mum because your husband works long hours'

Theorig you have my sympathy- DD has ADHD and the talking and questions never stop. I used to try to answer but she's onto the next question before I've answered the first so now I often just say I don't know.

ohamIreally Yesss! I was on fresh sheets last night - with a cat and a dog natch - but they don't count because they're not continuously asking questions.

My eldest and I both require silence. My youngest jibber-jabbers from dawn until dusk - thankfully he sees the funny side when we both take the piss out of him.

My youngest says "mum, mum, mum (repeat 500x) - why do you always say "uhuh ahem" when I ask you a question". Because it's the 50th time within 20 minutes you've asked repeated the same thing I've already responded to. I genuinely give an answer if I know it - but if I say "oh I don't know" it gets asked again. 5 times. I cannot magically conjure up a satisfactory answer. I've told him I hope he has many children.

I'm missing them more than I thought I would... but I did manage to binge watch all of Russian Doll last night so that was nice. Slept all the way through to 5:45 this morning - the luxury!

Today I'm going to take the dog out for a spin, do a shit load of batch cooking - I get a veg delivery and it's looking like a fucking farm shop around here and I loathe putting it in the recycling.

I need to crack on with some work and I'm going to afix my bedroom TV to the wall. Bought the brackets last week and sat down yesterday to figure out how to attach it to the wall and realised they were really fucking heavy... Tapped the wall in a manner which would indicate I know I'm looking for joists... but bottled it and praise baybee jebus for Amazon as I've ordered a stud finder to be delivered today. This may mean - if I don't simply rip acres of plaster off the wall... that I may be able to retire to my bedroom to lie prone ingesting Netflix whilst they're screeching and fighting playing nicely downstairs. Also suitable for those evenings where I've just not got the energy to climb up to bed at 6:59pm.

Sigh...had my sister lined up to mind DS when I'm at a conference but now something has come up for her.
I've had to be all breezy and fine and say I have other options but I really don't, not for the long, long days.
My kid, my responsibility.
I do have people to help but of course it's on their terms (quite right), so aunt saying she'll have him is all very well, but she is quite old and isn't up and ready till about midday.
I'll work it out, I always do.

But in Sunday morning news - DS read, understand and carried out my morning instructions (summary of which was LET ME SLEEP!) so have for the first time in 2 weeks had tea in bed and am still here at gone 9am. For that I am thankful. And I shall run 10 miles today and bottle the endorphins for the week ahead.

ZigZag yes jibber-jabber is even the exact phrase I use!
Friend is taking DD to cinema so that I can go to the gym. What are the chances of losing half a stone this week before half term?

Going to be super organised this week as I've got a really tough one and I have form for struggling on then getting ill as soon as I have a break.
Really looking forward to the week off - last time I had that many consecutive days was last August which feels like a long time ago now.

Watched Better Things last night. Would recommend. Single mum (mom, it’s American) 3 DDs, hits the nail on the head time and time again. Especially the teenager parts. Plus, each episode is only 20 minutes so no need to invest heavily or commit.

XH collected DC yesterday, first time in 7 weeks. and now he has to work Saturdays so instead of picking them up in the morning, its the afternoon. He hasn't bothered to tell me what time he will be returning them today, but it is usually around 5pm, so DC will get a whole 24 hours with him. Whoopee Doo. They have moved house again as well, so yet more strange surroundings for DC to contend with.

I just hope that the wife's family aren't down, because it means that DC has to sleep on the sofa and they are not comfortable. It's so sad that he can't make proper time for them when they are there :(

So what did I do with my night of freedom? Well I'm not feeling well so I fell asleep after DC left at 4, and woke up at 9pm. Wearing 3 layers, heating on 25, yet still shivering. I feel like absolute crap today.

That's a shame my hamster I always feel like I should be out on the town doing exciting grown up stuff when DD is away (rarely) to make up for all the nights in but often get ill and New Years Eve was in bed before 11.
Hope you're starting to feel better.

Had a morning if my eldest DS going on and in about how his favourite holidays are the ones with daddy, listing those as the places he has enjoyed going not the rubbish places I take them etc etc. Combined with my youngest innocently chattering on about his lovely weekend with ex’s g/f (who was the OW) and how much he likes her.

The logical part of me knows he is only 7 and I guess doing it to try and test me. And obviously I stay positive with youngest as well. But sometimes it is just so hard and it does hurt. Grrrrr.

My sympathies, crumpets. You're doing a good job if the dcs can innocently make those comments without being anxious about your reaction.

My dd does go on about the wonderful shoes/clothes her father buys her. Seeing as he only splashes out a couple of times a year, when he's feeling flush, he can afford to get her something fancy. I have to buy the boring old school uniforms and school shoes and pyjamas and the plain old everyday stuff that nobody will ever admire. The sheer disparity is breathtaking between what exH does and the praise he gets for it and what I do and the praise I get for it.

crumpets ouch, that must really sting.
You're right, they're testing you - they know they can trust you, and rely on you and that they can talk openly to you.

Grit your teeth and say the right things and come and vent here.

I am sorry you were poorly hamster. I agree oham, you feel you should be 'making the most of your time'.
I remember being over-excited about a w/e w/o either child cos it meant I could get on and hire a Rug Doctor and shampoo the carpets.

Needless to say the carpets haven't been cleaned for a good long while now!

ex has essentially stolen DS2's bike. DS has written to him, I have emailed him - no response. What an absolute cock.

Thanks both. Yes I’m gritting my teeth and trying not to react to the eldest ( my youngest is just innocently chattering and I really do try to see it as overall a positive that they like the g/f and she is kind to him). I always find the time they spend with the g/f wider family the hardest to deal with for some reason - so this weekend they were at her step mother’s birthday. Maybe it’s because it was only a year since ex left ( he moved in with her and introduced her to the kids the weekend he moved out!) so the wider family but just all feels very quick.

Anyway hope everyone has a good week. I spent the weekend cleaning but did also put new sheets on my bed! Hope you feel better hamster.

OrigFV cock pretty much sums that behaviour up! Sometimes I wonder how did they get like this? So selfish and self absorbed. But then remember you’d send yourself mad trying to figure it out and they aren’t worth the brain space.

Ahh crumpets it’s hard isn’t it? Def try and see it as a win that your dc are so comfortable and stable with you that they aren’t afraid of rocking the boar by mentioning her. You are doing a good job raising your kids honey.

I’m just back home after a meeting where my business partner has told me she wants to pull out of our business together. I totally get the reasons why - and to a degree am relieved she’s decided to do it, but I don’t know how best to move forward now for myself. I don’t know if I have the oommph to do it by myself. This past few weeks have been horrendous and I just want to press pause and pull myself back together for a bit. I’m normally so positive, but everything piled on top of each other is really wearing me down. I just want someone to talk to about it all! My business partner kept saying X (her husband) thinks this, X said that.... and I felt alone. I dont Like having it al on my shoulders, yet again!

I have got full on flu. I can barely keep my eyes open. DC returned and I could barely say hello. I then begged them to help me sort out the school uniform and make their packed lunch as I literally couldn't move. But no. Flat out refusal.

It's times like this that you wish there was somebody else around to take over :(

Hamster that sounds awful. How old are the DC? Have you got supplies in so you can hibernate? I hope you feel better soon

hamster is there anyone at all you can call?

People like to help.

oh myhamster there is nothing worse than when you are ill.
Can you bribe your DC into helping by incentivising with extra TV time, a takeaway for dinner, extra wifi time - I'm not sure what options you might have that are age appropriate for them?

ilovecrumpets when my DC used to occasionally go to their Dad's in the early days of our divorce, they'd come back with tales of wonder and awe and I'd have to bite my metaphorical tongue so hard. Ex-H soon got bored and he and OW had DC of their own and so she went from being all over them to totally disinterested and my DC quickly twigged who really had their back. It may not seem like it now but they will know (and appreciate) who's always at parents evening, school performances, cheering them on at sports day, trips to the dentist, doctor and making bloody school lunches every day.

crumpets My youngest has just returned home from school to tell me his dad bought him a £400 lego model for his birthday. No doubt I'll get slated for not doing similar... I just do the boring shit like school uniforms & bags, shoes, linen, food on the table, dentist's trips, fucking packed lunches (cheers margo )...

catscratch There could be very much a silver lining to your cloud - business partners are the worst ! Your business will run so much better without someone else... partnerships are shite and that's my professional and sadly learned opinion.

Does anyone here have a reasonable relationship with their ex?

Sounds like they're either absent or Disney.

We "got on" very well until about 6 months ago when I realised we were "getting on" because I was sweeping everything under the rug and still making allowances for his being shit. I snapped and put him straight that 10 years of listening to his bullshit was enough. He's not liked that.

No, sadly not TheOrig.

Single mom of three here, with 2 under 3. Shower is currently broken so unable to wash. Prepping for trial as self representing, cooking, cleaning, never ending washing as we are potty training. Oh and I've just realised I've forgotten to but the bins out!

I am so tired I napped all day with my 7 month old on Sunday.

Would pay someone to allow me to have 8 hours sleep please

Hello knickers

I have self-represented twice in Family Court for Child Arrangement Orders. If I can offer any help or support let me know.

I don't pay people to let me sleep, but I do pay someone to enable me to run!

In exhausted. Seperated very recently so it’s all very raw and I’m not sleeping. That combined with being 22 weeks pregnant and 4 and 5 year boys im pooped. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to manage when the baby gets here. I’m so tired. I’m snappy with the 4 year old as he won’t help me tidy up toys which turns into a battle which I wish I’d never started. I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel

naps I'm so sorry - you really are right in the middle of it right now. You've got a tough 6 months (at least!) ahead of you, but I promise you - you will get through it and in about 3 years (pah!) you'll feel in control. Do you have any support around?

It'll all come together a bit when the 2 older ones are at school so you've only got the 1 at home to worry about. But I won't fib and tell you it'll all be hunky-dory from day one.

Advantages: Nobody being a twat and telling you they're probably more tired than you because they have to work.

You can say fuck the housework and nobody will care. Your 2 boys won't give a shit if you declare a pyjamas day and order a pizza! And seriously? Fuck the toys. The battle is surviving and thriving - not the toy-box.

I suspect we are a self selecting group of single Mums, ie we wouldn't be nearly as likely to be on a thread like this if we had decent ex's and 50/50 time splits etc, because we'd be out having a life instead

Question of the day... I'm afraid to ask this on the boards for fear of having my arse handed to me, but I suspect you will understand where I'm coming from! I used to run, and haven't for years. I'd like to start doing the couch to 5k again. It would involve leaving DD home alone for 20-30 min periods. She is a responsible 9, we live in a quiet village, and I would run on a nearby track where she would know how to come and find me. Is this reasonable, or is she too young? I genuinely don't know. She is happy currently being left on her own if I need to pick something up from town, which takes 15 mins.