Being a single mum is proper graft isn't it - come on in single mums

[Janeyscleavage]

And no you can't join if you 'feel like a single mum because your husband works long hours'

Hello everyone, I’m a single mum too since DD was 18months old. She is 8 soon. I’ve read this thread today whilst putting with snot and generally feeling like shit.

Like a lot of you I have little local support and although my parents are fab they are 40 mins away and getting old. I was admitted to hospital 2 weeks ago with excruciating stomach pains and I’ll have to go back in a few weeks to get my gallbladder removed.

I also work 9-3.30 5 days a week. I’m tired all the time, my house permanently looks like a bomb site. I’m broke. I’m not feeling well and I just want someone to look after me for a change!

However DD keeps making me cups of tea and I’m being allowed to watch my tv as I’m poorly . I honestly don’t know what I would do with my life without her. She is an amazing little person, I’m lucky that I get to be her mum.

Pouring not putting

Hi all can't believe it's Monday already where did the weekend go?

I’ve just spent a night with my dd who lives and works away (single mum to two dds since 4 & 0)

It’s lovely now as she takes care of me! Making me supper and getting me drinks 👌

It’s hard work but now after ups and downs it’s great that she appreciates me 😄

This morning I was up before 6, walked the X's dogs, hit the dds up with all that entails, walked the dogs on the school run, got got ready for work, got to my desk 20 past 9

And I'm knackered

IvyKaty that sounds like the dream! I need to start prepping Ds now so he can do the same for me when he’s older!

Today is my first day to myself since I lost my bloody job on Friday. I have 2 self employed businesses I could (and should!) be focusing on, and the house is an absolute tip, but I am just sat feeling utterly unmotivated and knackered.

The family member who was taken into hospital on Friday really isn’t doing great, and I feel very weird about it all. I don’t know, maybe it’s just because now is the first time to myself in months that it feels so surreal.

It often feels like you’ve done a full day before the kids are down for breakfast, doesn’t it?

I had a busy weekend and it was lovely, but am now catching up on the chores that didn’t get done before I start work today. There always has to be payback doesn’t there?

Can you kick my arse into gear too please O4FS I’m sat in my pants eating crisps and the house looks like a bomb has gone off around me

It’s very decadent to be sitting in your pants eating crisps on a Monday morning. I think you should continue.

Has anyone gone on holiday as a single parent? Would love to take my toddler to Skegness Butlins in dec buts it's a 4 hour drive. If it was closer I wouldn't mind so much.

Moomin DO IT!!!! We used to goto Skegness butlins a lot, it’s the easiest holiday I have been on as it’s totally geared up with a full timetable of activities for the kids to keep them busy. You literally park
The car and then everything is so-able on foot and included in the price. Go for the highest grade accommodation you can afford and have zero expectations, but I promise it’s one of the easiest ways to go away as a single parent (we’ve probably been about 10 times 😬) I’m plucking up courage to take Ds abroad, but I’m scared of flying so that’s a different ball game!

O4FS you have shown great wisdom and insight on this thread, so I followed your advice, only stopping to get dressed to collect Ds from school. Back to reality for me tomorrow (I’ve eaten all the crisps now too so it’s back to earth with a bump!)

Haha Catscratch - sometimes you just need to stop!

Moomin - I take mine away on my own. It’s hard work planning etc, and sometimes it does make me feel a little lonely, but we need to do it. Again, it’s about needing to ‘stop’.

As said before, if you go to Butlins, don't expect anything, upgrade food and accommodation if you can and you may be pleasantly surprised.
Only managed to go once with my kids but we loved it and still talk about it.
Definitely go to the main show in the evening but get there early people queue at a ridiculously early time, but it's worth persevering.

I used to go on holiday with mine, went camping in Spain, France and Italy. Pack up the car and drive to the port and sail. The thing with camping was the dc would play with other children and I would read either on the site or we’d go to the beach. People (usually Dutch) would invite us to drink outside their tent and chat sometime in the evening.

Everything is usually chilled camping and I’d take food from the supermarket to cook on a camp stove etc

Cheap holidays really

Moominfan - yes, I've been on loads of holidays with mine. We had some fantastic times. When they are teeny tiny, I'm not sure it is worth it, as you are just slogging away doing the same old stuff but without all the home comforts and things set up the way you like it, but as soon as they are old enough to not need watching every second it is great.

I loved that the DC made me brave, if that makes sense. They'd charge into the playground or chat to people on the beach and so I'd join in too. Their fearlessness rubbed off on me - IYSWIM!

I took my youngest two camping in August for a few nights, it wasn't the best holiday, lots of kids there and a park but DS didn't want to go off by himself and wanted me to come with him whilst DD2 didn't want to go to the park and neither did I really, it was just a continous circle of that and missing having a proper bed to sleep on. I don't think I'll be taking them camping again anytime soon, which is a shame because it was a really nice campsite. However we are going to spain this year, a fairly cheap all inclusive, has taken a lot of saving but it's somewhere my teenage DD will agree to go as she refused to go camping. Hopefully it'll go better than last years holiday

I have taken my two (now 8 and 5)
Long haul to Caribbean
Bournemouth
Broadstairs
Menorca

All wonderful. All physically tiring to an extreme extent.

But this year I have booked Caribbean, Bournemouth and menorca again - so it’s a bit like childbirth. You forget the pain and do it again! Hard but worth it.

The pro is the freedom and flexibility of being a little team answerable to only one adult

Sod it. Sod it.

New client for CMS. When I first tried to access Client area I got locked out. Couldn't work out why, called them, they said the site was having problems.

Tried again last week, still locked out.

Tried again just now, still locked out. Called them (on hold for ages), she unlocked it, but I STILL FUCKING CAN'T GET in.

Anyway, they did tell me that ex has not responded to ANYTHING.

Theorig sounds frigging stressful! How long does ex have to respond? My sons dad lives abroad so I rely on good will for him to pay the school fees as he won’t give me any money direct incase I spend it on myself as it is, he keeps reducing this amount, so I now pay school fees, raise Ds AND have no money to ‘spend on myself’ (his greatest fear!)

TheOrig are you logging on through the Govt Gateway?

Also, is your ex PAYE? If he is, CMS can just suck it out that way. The threat of his employers being made aware was sufficient to prevent my ex from actually letting CMS do that. As soon as he found out that his employer would be contacted for the detachment of earnings (or whatever they call it) he suddenly became cooperative!

I'm just so fucking fed up.

DS2 been off school last 2 days, so I've had to sit at the kitchen table and remotely link up to the workshop I'm meant to be at. It's SO hard to do it that way.

I got a sitter for 45 mins last night so I could go for a run, otherwise haven't left the house (or does putting the bins out count) since Sunday. I'm going crazy and just want someone, ANYONE to offer some support.

Unmumsnetty hugs TheorigFv45 sometimes things are just shit aren’t they? How old is Ds2? Will he be back at school tomorrow do you think?

Good luck to all you heroic single mums, I remember how difficult It was with nobody to discuss any children problems with. Medical issues, school problems, the possibility of you being ill, or worse, all being ill together, the absolute permanent worry of holding everything together for years. The lack of money with only one income for me and 2 kids. The permanent single mum bashing from the media. Succeeded, have 2 nice adults now with families (and partners!) of their own. But I wouldn't want to do it again. Good luck to you all again.

I've taken mine on a few trips and am hoping to get them all skiing next winter because god damn it - I've put my fucking hobbies & life on hold long enough!

I took them camping a few years ago - putting up a big tent on my own was fun. So fucking fun I dropped a tent pole on my 5 day old car and scratched it! I was pissed off - but at least I didn't need to contend with anyone else's snarky comments or tantrums. Just finished putting the tent up and cracked open a beer. aaaah!

TheOrig I let the Sainsbury's man in earlier... does that count as socialising?