Most random find in a new house?

[ContraryToPopularBelief]

So we picked up our keys for our new house today. The sellers have been so nice. The house is super clean and they've left thoughtful things like a hedge clipper and lawnmower. All good.

However... on the back of one of the bedroom doors there is a sheep's skull!!!! 😱

Utterly random! So what's the most random thing your found when you moved in to a new house?

About 10 Venetian blinds that didn't fit any window.

If you ever find VHS videos behind the kickboards of your kitchen units 18 months after moving in, DON'T play them!!

We found some behind the fridge - we haven’t played them yet!

We found 80,000 Italian Lire down the back of a sofa in the 1980s. We thought we were rich.
It paid for a takeaway and a bottle of Malibu.

A thong in the airing cupboard
The vendors came round quite frequently to collect the post and I had to resist the urge to return it to the rightful owner.

Moved to an old rural house years ago that hadn't been lived in for a decade or so and found sex instruction vhs tapes in the shutter cavities. Also an extremely spooky jesus picture with glowing candle - the eyes followed you around the room and you could just make out his ghostly face even in the dark! Oh and mushrooms growing out of the carpet (under jesus).

A very big bar of french soap. Lasted the next 9 years. We did have other soaps as well, before you ask.

A teal eye pencil. In fact kitchen drawers full of bits and bobs, old bills and stuff.

She took the nice cream curtains we were supposed to get as part of flat. Bit mean that, we were 1st time buyers. Though we did get a sofa, bed, and welsh dresser (yes!!)

2nd place had been rented for years - echoes of past residents... bag of clothes and books. Fox red velvet flares. Steel toe cap boots. A mirror and a few toys in the attic space. Mouldy fridge and freezer of gone off ice cream - bleaugh!

Somehow a bit melancholy.

Lurcher story - glad that dog found a happy ending. Poor little thing.

• toys were innocent, chalks and dolls dresses. Not as in kind of toys found up thread!

All manner of crap! Townswomen's Guild Songbook, a wireless, tools, ladders, photo albums - and a fuck ton of rising damp concealed behind plasticised wallpaper. Bastards knew it was there too, because it had obviously had chemical sealant painted on (didn't work). All our decorating money went on sorting that. Thousands gone.

Weirdest was the aluminium chip pan nestled in the insulation in the loft space above the extension. Why would you?!

Cigarette packs and tobacco tins from the 1960's
A family tree inscribed by hand on a huge roll of paper
A row of coathooks labelled with the names of the children who had once lived there.
Lots of willow pattern broken china in the garden - always blue & white.
a quite sweet record of the family who had once lived there

A severed waist-length ponytail - thick, real human hair.

A fleshlight.

Both in student houses I moved into, many moons ago.

A crocodile posing pouch / thong, with a stack of photos of the previous occupier wearing it, demonstrating the way his erection opened the croc's mouth.

I still have nightmares.

Nothing compared to some of these horrors.

A crocheted advent calendar which is really cute and vendors said we could keep. 3 very small old photos. 1 of an airplane, 1 of a woman assuming it was the woman who sold the house and one of the house when it was first built. We sent her the 2 photos but asked to keep the one of the house. We have it in a frame now.

Oh there was also a big wooden (empty) trunk in the loft and a creepy painting of some horses that we're not quite in proportion.

About five locks on the outside of one of the bedroom doors

but I found a squirreled away photo of the ex-owners in which the wife has got her middle finger up behind (what I can only assume is) her parents/PILs head.

Squinting at this in a moment of insomnia and without contact lenses I thought the wife had her middle finger up her behind. Shows how my mind works doesn’t it? 😂

Nothing in the house but found a full set of dentures under the back of the passenger seat in my brand new car 🤮🤮

Not me, but a friend found a car in their rental property's loft. It was a big loft and the car was chopped into bits. The landlord was unaware it was there and the previous renters had done a runner. It turned out to have been a high end, stolen vehicle!

The only two times I have sold my house, I left a bottle of champagne, not used tampons!! [jealousofthoseofyoucanfindthevomitemoji]

6 coffin lids in the garage.

We found a load of love letters in a kitchen cupboard....

A life size sticker of Keanu Reeves’ head circa 1990 inside a wardrobe door

There was tons of weird stuff in the house my parents bought a few years ago, things like erotic art and a three foot high stuffed parrot (not real) but the one that stays with me was a beach ball designed to look like a globe. It was inflated and as we opened it to deflate it we all simultaneously thought of the deceased previous owner and watched as a dead man’s breath hissed out of the ball. It was so weird looking round at everyone’s expressions as we were suddenly all thinking the same, quite peculiar thought.

A shrine to David Attenborough.

Pages from Life on Earth plastered over rafters and a whole copy stood next to a autographed photo.

In the attic...

I know the man is magnificent but a shrine?

Our previous owners left three huge wardrobes which we weren’t expecting (useful in the short term but a pain to actually get rid of). They also took all of the light fittings in the living room leaving us with just dangling wires. We moved in mid-November and it was snowing so struggled to see anything when it wasn’t the middle of the day. There was also a lot a tiny heart foil confetti all over the house. It just kept appearing. We’ve been in the house for three years and I think I last found one in the middle of the floor in DS’s bedroom about 6 months ago.

A cat. The neighbours had been feeding him and he was living outside. He moved back in with us and we loved him.

The previous owners! They hadn’t realised that they needed to move out on completion day, they thought they had a day or two to do so.

Was quite amusing as they recruited family members to drive over with vans to start moving their stuff out. I came back a couple of hours later as they were almost finished. Trying to make conversation with their yo7ng daughter I asked her if she’d been helping mummy and daddy to move - she replied “yes, I’ve been killing the beetles coming out of the carpet”.

I did have a moment of thinking “oh blimey, what on earth have I bought?” Soon felt better after the estate agent brought round some champagne to say thanks for being understanding!!