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Original poster

My wife is dying

620 replies

SanJunipero · 13/01/2019 01:26

My beautiful, wonderful wife is only 33 and I'm sitting next to her bed in the hospice tonight watching her die. She's had cancer for a long time and I knew this was coming, but it's so very hard to watch.

OP posts:
Time40 · 13/01/2019 02:59

You speak about your wife so beautifully. My thoughts are with you.

nocoolnamesleft · 13/01/2019 03:00

You are making sure you that the last words she hears are all the most important things. That she is beautiful, and loved, and adored. And that you will make sure your son knows her through your memories. That you are there for her, always. There is one other thing that I wonder whether she might need to hear, which you would know far better than any of us. Some people at the end near to hear that, if they have had enough, if it is too much, it is okay to let go.

Thinking of you both this night.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/01/2019 03:18

Huge (((hugs))) for you, it's a long night, I remember.
I hope for everyone's sake that she goes peacefully - are the hospice staff checking in regularly? You might need to get some sleep too. xx

brizzledrizzle · 13/01/2019 03:25

I'm so sorry.

Crappygilmore · 13/01/2019 03:29

Flowers i cant think of the words to say to offer you comfort. Stay strong. Let her know she is loved. Sorry .

.

daisychain01 · 13/01/2019 03:32

So very sad for you all. Words are inadequate x

MidnightAura · 13/01/2019 03:39

How heartbreaking. I’m thinking of you both and sending you prayers.

Justagirlwholovesaboy · 13/01/2019 03:42

So sorry you are going through this. I sat with my siblings and dad as my mum passed away. I remember him hearing him heartbroken as he told her it was ok, she could go. It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever go through but you are there for her, it’s all she could ever need from you. The only thing which made me feel better was talking about her to people, telling stories of her kindness, and sometimes weird sense of humour. Would it help you to talk about her and tell us about her?

Eightmagpies · 13/01/2019 03:45

My heart is breaking for the three of you. You're in my prayers.

Even though her breathing is laboured and it sounds like she's in pain, she won't be now. It's her breathing going over the voice cords.

Thinking of you xx

olympic19 · 13/01/2019 03:47

I'm so very sorry for what you're both going through. I hope for peace for you both.

kateandme · 13/01/2019 04:04

im so sorry.
she will always be with you.
try not to ache with the things you planned to do.but think of all you've had.she knows this.she will go being so loved.
you gave her that.youve given eachother so much.find safety and peace in that.
and not that you can think of it now.but all the things you wanted to do you could show her through you and your boy.
you have a lot of people thinking of you tonight.holding you all tight.

Original poster
SanJunipero · 13/01/2019 04:11

I've told her that it will be over soon and that she can go when she's ready - she doesn't have to hold on.

Thank you for letting me talk about her. She's the most wonderful person. She makes me laugh every day. We've never been ones for travelling the world or big adventures; we both just love being a little family. She used to take our son swimming and to the park. She loves to bake and has already planned his first birthday cake; I'm hopeless at cakes but I'm going to give her design a go. She's a big ABBA fan so I've been playing her "Dancing Queen"; we've danced around the kitchen to that song so many times.

OP posts:
MsLucyLastic · 13/01/2019 04:12

I am so very sorry for what you are going through.

Your love shines out from your words. If it is that powerful via a screen, your wife must feel so incredibly loved in person.

I hope her passing is peaceful and gentle, though I wish it wasn't happening at all.

Your little boy will always know his mummy. Through you. And through your little boy, there will always be a part of her with you.

You have been in my prayers. Take care Flowers

Justagirlwholovesaboy · 13/01/2019 04:16

I’m sure even if the cake is a disaster she’ll be smiling and laughing down on you :). Play dancing queen at her funeral and make it a celebration of her life, she sounds amazing and would want to you remember all the happy stuff

JeremyCorbynsCoat · 13/01/2019 04:20

I'm so sorry you're all having to go through this. Thanks

81Byerley · 13/01/2019 04:30

I'm so, so sorry. Thinking of you both.

justilou1 · 13/01/2019 04:31

How blessed she is to be so loved. I’m so sorry for your pain and sorrow, but so happy that you have known such love. I wish you both peace.

kateandme · 13/01/2019 04:35

the cake will be great.she will be laughing alongside you making it.
does she have afavourite park or place.perhaps you could plant a little flower or something for her.you can still then go to the park with mummy.
and when your son is growing you can bake tgether.continue doing something she and now you love together with your son.
you can feel so much love in your words.what a beautiful marriage

BBInGinDrinking · 13/01/2019 04:57

Hello again OP. I remember your previous posts about your wife and son. I'm so sorry to read this thread now. It's happening for you all decades too soon. From experience, some people are so special that they never really leave us. Thinking of you, your wife and your very special family of 3. Keep hugging that lovely little boy, and he'll lead you through. Flowers

Spagyetti · 13/01/2019 05:04

I'm so sorry Flowers

Zoflorabore · 13/01/2019 05:10

Oh op I'm so sorry to read this. How sad.
I hope your lovely wife goes peacefully and you are able to get through the coming hours somehow.

Your little boy may not remember but your wife's memory will always live on. I hope he brings you lots of comfort.
Life is so very cruel Flowers

Coolaschmoola · 13/01/2019 05:11

I'm so sorry Flowers.

Aebj · 13/01/2019 05:48

Sending love to you all. Cancer is horrid .

MyOtherProfile · 13/01/2019 05:57

Flowers to you and your little one

EffYouSeeKaye · 13/01/2019 07:21

Flowers Lots of love to you.