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Original poster

My wife is dying

620 replies

SanJunipero · 13/01/2019 01:26

My beautiful, wonderful wife is only 33 and I'm sitting next to her bed in the hospice tonight watching her die. She's had cancer for a long time and I knew this was coming, but it's so very hard to watch.

OP posts:
MulticolourMophead · 16/01/2019 00:26

I echo the feeling of relief, and ThumbWitchesAbroad those are pretty much the words my dad used when my mum passed a couple of months ago.

He misses her so much, but is at peace with himself because she's no longer suffering. He hasn't given himself a hard time for that feeling of relief.

SanJunipero still thinking of you x Thanks

Empathy56 · 16/01/2019 00:26

SJ,I am so sorry about your dear wife.The love you have for her shines through your posts and she will take that with her on her journey.Sending you Love and Strength to help you through this desperately sad time and a hand to hold.Flowers

surlycurly · 16/01/2019 00:37

Oh my. What a beautifully sad post. You both sound wonderful OP. I send love and peace to you both.

Smotheroffive · 16/01/2019 00:45

*you're not alone...I'll wait til the end of time with you...(that should have said, not 'for' the end of time)

BBInGinDrinking · 16/01/2019 00:52

The song is Olive - You're Not Alone.

MadisonAvenue · 16/01/2019 01:28

Sending you both my love and keeping you in my thoughts.

JollyHolly30 · 16/01/2019 01:40

I'm so sorry for you and your son. You sound like you have such a special love, that most people don't experience in their lifetime. 33 is far too young to die and for you to lose your partner.

I hope one day you can take comfort in the truly rare love you've shared. Your wife is lucky to have you, and she too, sounds like a beautiful person.

She will always be with you in your son. Keep hugging that little baby and never stop telling him all about his Mummy.

Smotheroffive · 16/01/2019 01:42

X BBInGin

WH1SPERS · 16/01/2019 02:00

Please don’t think that she doesn't know you are there. Doctors don’t know everything and our sense of hearing is one of the last to go. She might well still be able to hear you singing and talking to her, even if she can’t respond.

Also our sense of smell is in a very primitive part of the brain. You might like to spray some of her (or your) favourite perfume on your hand and put it near her faces Smell evokes memories and emotions very readily.

Your presence will comfort her in a deep way. Although she may choose to go when you are not there, I don’t know why this happens but it often does. Someone sits with a loved one for days, then pops to the loo for 5 mins and they slip away.

If this happens with your wife, don’t blame yourself or feel bad. That was how It was meant to be.

I wish you both peace.

justilou1 · 16/01/2019 02:10

I'm up doing laundry and complaining about the unending heat here. If you need anyone.... I'm thinking of you both.

MissQuad · 16/01/2019 02:41
Flowers
BBInGinDrinking · 16/01/2019 03:53

Just in my thoughts and prayers, SJ. There's a sweet cup of tea and a strong hug here, if you need them.

Smotheroffive · 16/01/2019 03:59

I just came on tonsay about the senses, specifically smell, most primitive, and touch. To be held and have comforting smells, maybe a fragrance or flower that you used to have around your family home, or on linen, her perfume, yours, soap...

Holding the body and pressure is the ultimate in knowing you are supported, feeling close, and loved, ease fears, and souch more.

Peace, light and love to you all

Smotheroffive · 16/01/2019 03:59

*so much

homemadecookie · 16/01/2019 04:41

Thinking of you all and hoping your wife has had a more peaceful night. Much love Flowers xx

S0dabread · 16/01/2019 06:49

Dear San. Thinking of you still. You being there is everything. Have no regrets. Say everything you want to / need to. She is there for you as much as you her no matter how ill she is. I'm sure she wants to offer you whatever comfort she can. Wishing you strength to get through.

cricketmum84 · 16/01/2019 07:02

Just wanted to say your family have been in my thoughts since I first read your post. Sending lots of love and strength your way. You are doing amazing. Praying your wife has had a more peaceful night xx

WinterRose92 · 16/01/2019 07:03

Sending you all my love, I’m so sorry this is happening to you xx

Borntobeamum · 16/01/2019 08:02

Huge prayers 💐

pontiouspilates · 16/01/2019 08:17

I've been lurking on this post over the past few days and just want to tell you how much I feel for your family. You and your wife sound like you have set some wonderful and loving foundations for your DS, what a legacy Thanks

Geib8314 · 16/01/2019 08:21

Thinking of you

Mulberry72 · 16/01/2019 08:23

Hope you and your wife have had a peaceful night San, sending love and hugs and an ear to listen if you need it xxxx Flowers

ChippingIn · 16/01/2019 09:47

Thinking of you all this morning x

Big hugs xx

Original poster
SanJunipero · 16/01/2019 11:42

She passed away last night. Her breathing had got worse and the nurse said she probably thought the end would be soon. I held my wife's hand and told her that I wasn't going anywhere - I was staying right by her side. I said that I loved her and she should go when she was ready, and that was it - she went. I've come home and it all feels very strange. I'm doing her washing for her so that all her things are nice. I'm not sure it's really hit me yet.

OP posts:
Trevorthebikethief · 16/01/2019 11:46

Take care of yourself xx

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