My wife is dying

[SanJunipero]

My beautiful, wonderful wife is only 33 and I'm sitting next to her bed in the hospice tonight watching her die. She's had cancer for a long time and I knew this was coming, but it's so very hard to watch.

Thoughts are with you @SanJunipero 💐

Just home from work, checking how you are and thinking of you x

Thinking of you here too op.

Just popping in to send you some hugs x

Do you think she’d mind if you told us her MN name? I’d like to think of her as well as thinking of ‘your wife’ (if that makes sense).

You’re being incredible protecting others from knowing how hard she’s finding it, but you need support too. Please make sure you’re getting what you need xx

This was me only 7 months ago sitting at my 38 year olds husbands bedside and holding his hand. Telling him
It was ok now to go to sleep as he was tired. You are in my thoughts.

It is such a place to be, caught between desperately not wanting to lose someone you love so much, and equally desperately not wanting them to suffer one moment more. You are in my thoughts and prayers, as are your wife and son.

Thinking of you SanJunipero
Please forgive yourself, the Doctor will understand, it’s an awful situation to be in.
Whilst it’s not the same, when my dad was at the end of his life, (he was 50, I was 24) I lost my temper with the Macmillan nurse, Marie, that came to visit him, I felt horrid after, but she was very kind. I just couldn’t comprehend that we were in this situation as a family and became completely overwhelmed. The best thing someone told me is that you aren’t alone, your emotions will be all over the place, but you mustn’t bottle them up, and don’t give your self a hard time for them.

The love you and your wife share sounds magical, some people go their whole lives and never find that.

Sending you love and best wishes xx

Bluewidow

SanJunipero still thinking of you and hoping your wife is comfortable xx

I can see where a pp is coming from, (a good place), but I don't need to know your DW's username, SJ. It would feel a little intrusive to me, especially as she didn't decide to share it herself, if you see what I mean? It's enough for me to know that she's a mumsnetter. But it's up to you, of course. Just don't feel any pressure to share it, (which I'm sure the pp didn't mean at all).

Am so sorry for what you are both going through. My heart breaks. Thinking of you. Hope she has some peace.

It’s 4:40am here and you’re the first thoughts on my mind before coffee. It’s too hot to sleep. How did the rest of your day go?

SJ you and your wife both sound like very special, loving women; you will go on to bring up your son in a way that will make her very, very proud of you both. Hope you are managing to get some rest. I add my thoughts and love to everyone else's.

@san my heart is breaking for you all- I’ve been thinking of you both all week. I hope you’re ok, I’m praying for you all x

Loads of love being sent to you from Liverpool tonight. Your thread has touched me more than you will ever know.
I'm so sorry you're in this situation but am glad you have us to talk to. Hope that makes sense San?
Hope DW is pain free and comfortable xx

Sending love and prayers for your strengthening and comfort as another night approaches. May you feel all the support like a hug. Xxxx

So very sad to read this OP, sending love 💕

Keeping you in my thoughts tonight.

I’m so sorry OP. Sending you a hug x

Still thinking of you San

Bluewidow

I’m so terribly sorry for what you and your darling wife are going through. It’s unbearable I know. 🌹🌹

My heart goes out to you, and my prayers for your wife, as well as for you and your little one.

xxx

I'm back too, feeling more energised and invigorated after some very beneficial activities today, so I thought I mighcome back here to bestow you with some really good energy to help carry you through, make sure you lighten your load here when its too heavy and keep letting us help you carry this burden love.

You shouldn't all have to be going through this, life sucks sometimes, and so bloody unfair, you will have some wonderful times together, you and your D's, and you will clearly always keep your DW deep in your soul.

This song just came on, sung in a high female voice....you're not alone...I'll wait for the end of time with you...

Seemed poignant and noteworthy...spoils it a little that these might be the words 'I heard' as opposed to those the singer actually sings! ...but this is how I hear them and I think they are so beautiful.

I am sorry for your distress and of course your DWs, I hope things can be calmer for you all tonight, and that peace can come in good time for you all. for hugs, and

Hi this is my first time posting here I have been a lurker for a couple of years but I can’t stop thinking of you and your little family. I am so sorry for your situation, my heartfelt wishes to you all xxx

I'm so sorry that she's in pain - hopefully they have given her enough sedation now that she's less aware of it at least.
I hope for all of your sakes that the end does come soon - and when it does, be prepared for a strange mixture of feelings, including relief.
You're not relieved she's gone, you're relieved that her pain and suffering is over - but it can feel a bit selfish and strange when you first recognise it as relief.

Much love and handholding - and may I suggest bananas as fairly easy to choke down in the sustenance stakes, you don't really have to chew them but they help to keep you going, as well as the sweet tea.