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Original poster

Dogs. Genuine question for dog owners.

171 replies

Eatyourveg88 · 27/12/2018 08:58

I’ve never had a dog but I’m an animal lover and have had many pets myself in the past, eg cats, small pets. I have nothing against well behaved dogs!

If I visit the house of a person with dogs, AIBU to expect not to be :

-licked
-scratched
-jumped at
-have items taken from me
-barked at
-have my shoes chewed etc

This is what happens when we visit a relative with dogs. I’ve never really liked it but up until now I’ve tolerated it. I don’t feel in danger as the dogs are harmless, I just find it really annoying and don’t relax at their house.

However now I’ve got a baby so this Christmas I said I wasn’t prepared to visit them due to the dogs. Was I being unreasonable?!

I said they were welcome to visit us (without the dogs) or we could meet in a pub or somewhere.

The relatives are upset we didn’t visit.

If you have dogs, is that what it’s like in your house?!

OP posts:
HollyBollyBooBoo · 28/12/2018 21:26

We always put ours in the kitchen which has a baby gate across it. Otherwise you'd be licked and sat in without a doubt.

adaline · 28/12/2018 21:26

@drspouse well, I would expect people to tell me if they're coming to my home and they don't like or are nervous around dogs.

MountainPony · 28/12/2018 21:32

As drspouse asks, how do you know?

And in any case, I'm not nervous or frightened. I just don't like dogs and definitely don't want their saliva or hair on me. That's not me being weird or difficult, you know; it's true of loads of people, it's just that it's actually quite tricky to say to many dog owners. (And in any case, they don't give a monkeys, as demonstrated by some PPs here - "I am not keeping my dog away from people")

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Dogs
drspouse · 28/12/2018 21:33

When I've told people that I'm not a dog person (I don't like being licked- I'm not nervous) people always say "oh my dog's harmless" or act like I've said I eat children for breakfast.
So I don't bother telling them any more.

adaline · 28/12/2018 21:36

(And in any case, they don't give a monkeys, as demonstrated by some PPs here - "I am not keeping my dog away from people")

It is the dog's home though. I wouldn't shut my dog away because he's not used to it and it would stress him out - all he would do is bark and that's not fair on him or the neighbours.

But like I said I would keep him on a lead if someone didn't want him jumping up or said they were nervous of dogs. But if I wasn't told I would leave him to his own devices. People are welcome not to come over if they don't want to be around the dog.

Lazypuppy · 28/12/2018 21:41

@drspouse

But how would they know to suggest not coming to your house@Lazypuppy?

If they are my friends they know all about my dog, what he's like, have seen pictures etc. If they don't know, i doubt they would be coming to my house as we wouldn't be close friends.

Also as a pp said, even if i did shut the dog away, you would still leave covered in dog hair.

jinglebells123 · 28/12/2018 21:43

I always check if guests are comfortable with dogs and if not the dog is kept upstairs.

Our dog won't bark but sometimes jumps up, will kick and generally get excited and will sit on people.

She's a large lurcher so can send kids during like skittles - my 4 year old DD is well used to her but id keep her away from other kids till she calms down.

drspouse · 28/12/2018 21:43

I don't mind dog hair to a degree. I'm not allergic.

tryinganewname · 28/12/2018 21:48

I'm not ill mannered.. I just prefer my dogs to people so they can do what they want as long as they're not hurting anyone (which they don't and they wouldn't, they're just excited to have visitors). To be fair, most people come to see the dogs anyway.

Ladygaladriel · 28/12/2018 21:48

Depends on the guest. Animal lovers I would leave the dog out. He will attempt to jump up at you at first which I drag him down and tell him no and he ignores. 2 minutes later he will just be lying down next to you or on you.
If anyone visits who has a tiny baby or who I know doesn’t like dogs he gets put in the kitchen.
If he was being a pest after about 5 minutes regardless of who it was (he is normally excited about new people at first but quickly settles) he would go into the kitchen.

WhatTheFuckRichard · 28/12/2018 21:49

If it's a brand new excitable puppy then yes, it's completely normal for them to want to jump up and explore everything. If it's an adult dog then no, they just haven't trained it properly.

My 2 would look up from their nap and then go back to sleep Grin If you looked extremely interesting they would trot over and sit at your feet until you stroked their head and then they'd go happily back to bed.

I'd be so embarrassed if they jumped up, barked and licked guests. That is just rude and unwelcoming. It's the equivalent to letting your child jump all over their grandma and scream in her face while tugging her pant leg.

U2HasTheEdge · 28/12/2018 21:50

That's not me being weird or difficult, you know; it's true of loads of people, it's just that it's actually quite tricky to say to many dog owners. (And in any case, they don't give a monkeys, as demonstrated by some PPs here - "I am not keeping my dog away from people")

My dogs live here and they simply aren't going into another room. If they were happy in another room then I might but they aren't (well one is) so I wouldn't do it. I am not going to let them get distressed.

I am certainly not going to put them away just in case someone can't bring themselves to tell me they would rather meet somewhere else because they don't like being around my dogs.

There are plenty of places to meet people. It doesn't have to be my house if the dogs are a problem for them, and if someone can't tell me they don't want to meet at mine then that is on them.

ThursdayLastWeek · 28/12/2018 21:57

Just so the dog dislikers know - if you tell me you don’t like dogs/your kid is scared/you even imply that you’re uncomfortable around them, my dog will be shut away from you.

I will happily accommodate almost any human being over my dog. Because while I love him, he’s just a dog.

Please don’t be afraid to tell your friends you don’t like dogs!

ThursdayLastWeek · 28/12/2018 21:58

I mean, I won’t invite you for a weekend either, I’m not paying for a kennel Grin but we can certainly have a cuppa/play date/lunch

MountainPony · 28/12/2018 22:06

Behaviours condoned by some dog owners on this thread:

  • you would be sniffed, possibly leaned on and have to suffer a pair of eyes staring into your soul (bit uncomfortable).
  • she would jump on you and bark at you.
  • You'll probably get a jumping lick from my dog
  • every now and again he may come and give you a paw.
  • You will get jumped and licked as you enter my house and barked at when coming towards the house. You will then be sat up against when you sit.
  • He comes rushing out to say hello, sniff you and demand a fuss.
  • My dog gets very excited when people first arrive and will run around them but once they’ve said hello and stroked him he will just either stare at them or follow them around
  • the dog will run at you and bounce around as you come in and if you sit on the sofa she will try to sit next to you on you but I ask her to lie down on the floor or the sofa quietly and the majority of the time she will
  • You'd get a crotch sniff, zoomies around you in excitement, farted on and then the full weight of a 3 stone lump sat on your knee.
  • You would get barked at when you walked in and then a big golden lump would sit in front of you ( probably on your feet) waggling his bum in excitement and nudging your hand with his nose until you stroked him
  • we have a leaner too! And a snuggle right into the length of your thigh when you're sat on the sofa. She has also been known to lick
  • You would get a quick, lick to one of your legs if you were wearing shorts or a skirt. Apart from that it would be a lot of initial wagging and a bit of sniffing.
  • For the first 5mins you will be ambushed with sniffs and cuddles
  • It would sit on your knee and make you stroke it by pawing at you.
  • They do bark when people come in.They will then race to you to have a bit of fuss and maybe give you a lick.
  • To be honest my dogs would probably jump at you in excitement
  • They would probably do a bit of low key pestering for a cuddle. They may steal a slipper and parade around with it in their mouth for a few mins
  • You get a small amount of dashing about and wiggling, then a little bit of sniffing and she may bring a bone to show you.
  • He rubs his back end against people asking for it to be scratched, covers them in hair and then sits on their feet waiting to be loved.
  • you would have three dogs jump onto you for kisses . Then they will sit on the sofa right next to you.

-the chances are high they will get licked and will definitely leave with dog hair on them.

  • Mine would jump (but he's still a puppy) and possibly lick you if you let him.

I will never understand why some dog owners are completely fine with this. It's not fine at all, it's utterly gross and really disrespectful to guests that don't like dogs. If you don't want to shut them away, that's fine, just train them not to do these repellent things to visitors that don't welcome it then.

LardLizard · 28/12/2018 22:08

My dog wouldn’t do any of those things,she is extremely well behaved
She might come up to you to try n get a stroke though but she wouldn’t jump lick bark or chew your shoes

Sweetooth92 · 28/12/2018 22:08

Our two are still babies really, 18 months and 2 1/2. You’d get greeted at the door by two of them with tails wagging like crazy, and if they sense you are a dog person then usually jumped up licked and cuddled/nuzzled up too. We are working on the greeting and trying to calm it down and making progress slowly (had mastered it with one then gained a second a month ago so we’ve a few back steps in ddog1 to iron out) though we have gates downstairs so can shut them out if they get too much. They both live with my son who’s almost 1 so are very used to small children, it’s their home so while we accommodate visitors where we can I’ll put them first

pineapplebryanbrown · 28/12/2018 22:14

I mention my dogs and ask people if they are doggy people before inviting them. I had to employ someone to do something with my son for 5 hours at a stretch in my home and how comfortable they are with dogs was one of the skills i wanted. I particularly like one of my aunties because she is so doggy she forgets that a dog is on her knee and just carries on talking and stroking at the same time.

MakeAHouseAHome · 28/12/2018 22:21

My dog will just want to be stroked. He will maybe bark when the door first goes and sniff you and lick your hand but that is it.

However, any dog in MY house is part of MY family and I wouldn't be locking them in another room under any circumstances.

hamburgers · 28/12/2018 22:25

You'll be greeted with a bark, then a jump, then once you sit on the sofa you'll have him trying to curl up on your lap for strokes and cuddles ( v small dog). If at any point you got annoyed with ddog or ddog wasn't calming down or you had your newborn/baby with you, he'd be moved to another room or sit on my lap.

vampirethriller · 28/12/2018 22:33

My dog would sniff feet (she's very little) then fetch a toy to show you. She wouldn't touch you unless you wanted her to and offered to stroke her. She doesn't jump up. She sits on knees of people who know her but only if they make the first move!

U2HasTheEdge · 28/12/2018 22:35

I will never understand why some dog owners are completely fine with this. It's not fine at all, it's utterly gross and really disrespectful to guests that don't like dogs. If you don't want to shut them away, that's fine, just train them not to do these repellent things to visitors that don't welcome it then

Well, one of those comments was mine.

I don't care if others find it repellent because they don't have to visit. The dogs come first, they aren't going in another room and their training still needs some work. One of mine was abused then he was a street dog, he had never been in a house before, so if people can't handle the fact that he isn't perfectly trained yet then tough luck. The other one is very young and excitable and had no training when he came to us as he was dumped as a tiny puppy.

I am not sure I would have much in common with someone who finds a dog lick and a dog sitting next to them repellent anyway.

MakeAHouseAHome · 28/12/2018 22:37

U2hastheEdge I agree with everything you have said. The dogs 100% come first. You wouldn't lock away your child would you...

Alwaysonholiday · 28/12/2018 22:39

My dog will greet you and if you want to stroke her she’s thrilled. She’s will then retire to her basket. We don’t tolerate licking, jumping up or anything else.

tryinganewname · 28/12/2018 22:43

@U2HasTheEdge that's the most resonating thing I've ever read on Mumsnet.

Dogs 1000000% come first. Don't like it, then don't come. There's hundreds of places that alternative meet ups can be arranged.