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Dogs. Genuine question for dog owners.

171 replies

Eatyourveg88 · 27/12/2018 08:58

I’ve never had a dog but I’m an animal lover and have had many pets myself in the past, eg cats, small pets. I have nothing against well behaved dogs!

If I visit the house of a person with dogs, AIBU to expect not to be :

-licked
-scratched
-jumped at
-have items taken from me
-barked at
-have my shoes chewed etc

This is what happens when we visit a relative with dogs. I’ve never really liked it but up until now I’ve tolerated it. I don’t feel in danger as the dogs are harmless, I just find it really annoying and don’t relax at their house.

However now I’ve got a baby so this Christmas I said I wasn’t prepared to visit them due to the dogs. Was I being unreasonable?!

I said they were welcome to visit us (without the dogs) or we could meet in a pub or somewhere.

The relatives are upset we didn’t visit.

If you have dogs, is that what it’s like in your house?!

OP posts:
HarveySchlumpfenburger · 27/12/2018 18:31

You would have got barked at once you rang the doorbell, then a quick sniff and then she’d probably leave you alone, unless you have a history of playing with her or have food.she definitely wouldn’t have jumped up or snatched because she was trained not to do that. Slightly less good at not being near you if you have food, but would move if one of us called her off or you told her to bugger off.

If you had a baby with you, then the dog would have been left in a different room before you get there.

DutchSparkle · 27/12/2018 19:12

If I visit the house of a person with dogs, AIBU to expect not to be :

-licked
-scratched
-jumped at
-have items taken from me
-barked at
-have my shoes chewed etc*

I have a dog and I wouldn't put up with her behaving that way. Yes she gets excited when people visit but she doesn't jump up although you might get a whip from her tail wagging. She will check out people, sniffing them but then lays down.

Sounds to me like your relatives dogs aren't trained well.

SmokeGetsInYourEye · 27/12/2018 19:13

I agree that if someone is visiting with small children/babies the dog will be either in another room or on a lead until we are sure everyone (including the dog) is happy to mix. While my dog does a big welcome for people he knows, I get it that not everyone likes that and I'm not in the slightest bit put out by it but if the were staying overnight we might have a problem with keeping the dog in another room.

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Dogs
werideatdawn · 27/12/2018 20:14

In my home my dog would be made to sit while you came in. If she got over excited I'd put something delicious in a kong and she'd crack on with that for a while and ignore you. If that still didn't work she'd go in the kitchen to chill. I don't let my dog jump, bite, scratch etc. visitors. Not cool.

Ragwort · 27/12/2018 20:26

Do you dog owners ask new friends if they actively like dogs when they visit you, I would be horrified if a dog sat next to me and expected to be cuddled or stroked, what is a polite way of saying to a dog owner ‘please don’t let your dog touch me’, or should I check with friends if they have a dog before I visit ? Confused. It’s a bit of an etiquette minefield.

I don’t like cats either Grin, we’ve just been invited to dinner with friends who have cats & I will have to politely decline as DH is severely allergic to cats.

Dementedswan · 27/12/2018 20:42

I can generally tell if someone doesn't want my dog to fuss them and call him away. Hes never allowed to greet people at the door anyway. The rule is ignore the dog until he's calm and so far it's working. He's only 2 so tend to keep him next to me until he calls or visitor wants to stroke him .

SmokeGetsInYourEye · 27/12/2018 20:52

Ragwort Just say you really don't like dogs, be specific too -say you don't like them licking/touching you - the owners should respect that.

MyNameIsFartacus · 27/12/2018 20:58

At my house you get my dog doing excited circles and throwing herself at your feet for a belly rub. Then she leaves you alone unless there are guests around the table, whereupon she takes up the position of "strategically placed dog" right under the dinner table - not explicitly begging, but just hopeful!

GinTimeAtHome · 27/12/2018 21:00

At our house,

You’d get sniffed at, leaned on for a fuss then they generally bugger off and leave you alone. Neither of mine bark, you might get a chatter ive taught my big dog to say hello and it does sound like hello

If guest are not keen or scared they go out in the garden or put in the kitchen. However it is their home too and I’m not keen on keeping them out for hours.

GinTimeAtHome · 27/12/2018 21:02

I’d never allowed them to beg for food or to steal food and I don’t think they have ever chewed shoes

toastfiend · 27/12/2018 21:11

My dogs bark when people first arrive, they're just alerting us though and once we go to the door they quieten down. We don't allow scratching, jumping up or barking and neither of them are lickers (and wouldn't be allowed to lick visitors if they were).

Their behaviour when visitors are here largely depends on whether the visitors like dogs. If they don't then the dogs stay on their bed in the kitchen or in the garden (weather depending) whilst we sit elsewhere. If visitors like dogs they might get one snuggled up with them on the sofa, but only on invitation! If they're not too bothered then the dogs will happily ignore them and sleep on their bed in the corner.

I really dislike going to houses where dogs jump up and fawn all over you, although I love dogs, so I don't allow my own dogs to behave like that. I do expect a degree of tolerance of my dogs from visitors to my house, though. If they don't like dogs I'll do my best to keep them separate, but they're well behaved and it's their home too at the end of the day.

Noteverythingisabingthing · 27/12/2018 21:37

Interesting thread! We have a medium sized dog at home, my dh lets her annoy people- try sniff at their food, jump up at them etc, he calls her back half heartedly. We have numerous arguments about it. I realise most people don't want her doing that and always put her out of the room/make her sit next to me. In fact she only does it when dh is there as she gets away with it. When we go to PIL's house, their 2 dogs are frankly awful. They bark constantly, jump up/on you, growl at each other, jump on the furniture while filthy, steal off peoples plates. PIL's think they are adorable and would never dream of putting them out of the room. I dislike round there for that reason (I do still go, and wouldn't be rude to say it to PIL as they would be hurt).

PrivateVasquez · 27/12/2018 22:30

Our breed is known for being aloof with strangers (despite being highly affectionate with family) and boy is our dog typical of that.

If we have visitors who like dogs and they get happy to see him, they soon get a reality check when they realise he has zero interest and ignores them completely.

Lazypuppy · 27/12/2018 22:44

@Strugglingtodomybest

You'd get jumped on and licked to death in my house. Probably sat on too.

Sounds like my house 😂 only for 5 mins the dog settles down.

Babyroobs · 27/12/2018 22:46

To be honest my dogs would probably jump at you in excitement but if they were being a nuisance I would shut them out as people ( understandably don't like it). I went to a friends house and her dogs jumped on the sofa and clawed my back and she did nothing, it was annoying.

user1andonly · 27/12/2018 22:53

Yanbu to not want dogs licking, scratching you, barking or jumping at you when you are holding your new baby.

I don't think you can dictate what someone does with their dogs in their own home but you are entitled to decide you don't want to visit if they don't control them.

I said they were welcome to visit us (without the dogs) or we could meet in a pub or somewhere

Perfectly reasonable.

The relatives are upset we didn’t visit

Why do you have to be the ones to do all the visiting? You have a newborn - they should be putting themselves out to visit you for a change. If they don't feel they can leave the dogs, they will have to arrange a sitter or come individually.

Stefoscope · 27/12/2018 23:24

Mine may bark a couple of times with excitement if he recognises the visitor. I normally gently hold his collar to remind him not to push in front of people as they come through the door. When he realises the visitor doesn't have food for him he usually loses interest pretty fast! He's allowed a sniff assuming the guest is ok with dogs and to get a stroke off them, then if necessary, he's told to 'back up' so he's not making a pest of himself. He's not a licky dog thankfully. I love dogs but it's not a behaviour I would encourage.

Visiting MIL is a different matter. She purposefully gets her large breed dog over excited and makes no effort to stop her from jumping up, barking, licking and scratching. She even questioned why I wasn't immediately fussing the dog as soon as I got through the door last time I visited. Probably because she was charging around like a loon and I've just recovered from my dog accidently breaking my finger whilst playing earlier this year! She even encourages the dog to sit on my knee...err no thanks. She doesn't seem to appreciate some people dislike dogs either. SIL clearly isn't keen on them , so I always try to direct the dog away from her when we're at MIL's. MIL will later make comments to the effect of, well it's the dog's house SIL should respect that.

problembottom · 28/12/2018 00:24

I have a friend with dogs and I get barked at, licked, scratched at, jumped on and sat on by them. She finds it really cute and even tho she knows I hate it she just laughs and weakly tells them to get down. I actually like dogs, we had a Labrador and a shih tzu growing up but they never harassed visitors beyond a welcome bark.

caringcarer · 28/12/2018 00:39

Our dogs would bark as you arrived. They look cute and get petted a lot so think everyone loves them. They like to be petted but we know not everyone with baby would do that so either go in garden if dry day or in crate with a toy and a treat if wet. My ds would likely take them for a walk. They would not jump up unless encouraged but would sit and hold up a paw (and hope for a treat) to shake. Once we told then you were friend no more barking.

Flower777 · 28/12/2018 01:10

Aww please can I come and visit all of the posters with the dogs that lean on visitors?

pineapplebryanbrown · 28/12/2018 02:13

Unless someone is very doggy i put my dogs outside. They would compete with each other and stare, sing, give you a paw and dance on hind legs for your approval. It's distracting!

MaidenMotherCrone · 28/12/2018 08:29

@Flower you are very welcome to come and visit my leaning tower of Weimaraner. He’s big and heavy so you need to brace yourself against something solid. The Soul Staring Whippet likes to stand in between your legs just to remind us we are ladies and should keep our knees together at all timesGrin

RubertRoo · 28/12/2018 08:39

I have a Staffordshire Bull Terrier so you need to be a big fan of dogs to tolerate her. She loves people SO much and thinks they will all love her as much - so you do get a bounding Staffy all over you at mine. However, any children or non doggy fans and she gets locked in kitchen because she's just such an over enthusiastic, happy dog and I am aware not everyone loves her as much as me.

pineapplebryanbrown · 28/12/2018 08:44

I love dogs and enjoy getting to know other peoples' too. I enjoy getting leaned on and view it as a compliment if a dog leaps onto my knee. But the staring! Argh! It's very unnerving! Mine do it all the time, I thought it was only JRTs that made serious eye contact?

thereallifesaffy · 28/12/2018 08:59

My dogs have tended to be shoe and scarf stealers so when someone visits I suggest they place such desirable items in a cupboard in the hall. If they don't heed my advice then I have little sympathy!
Also I find that if a visitor gives a dog what he wants -
Acknowledgement and a greeting back, they'll leave a visitor alone after this polite first encounter.
Ignoring seems to being out a 'I'm here' I'm here!' Response.

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