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Original poster

Dogs. Genuine question for dog owners.

171 replies

Eatyourveg88 · 27/12/2018 08:58

I’ve never had a dog but I’m an animal lover and have had many pets myself in the past, eg cats, small pets. I have nothing against well behaved dogs!

If I visit the house of a person with dogs, AIBU to expect not to be :

-licked
-scratched
-jumped at
-have items taken from me
-barked at
-have my shoes chewed etc

This is what happens when we visit a relative with dogs. I’ve never really liked it but up until now I’ve tolerated it. I don’t feel in danger as the dogs are harmless, I just find it really annoying and don’t relax at their house.

However now I’ve got a baby so this Christmas I said I wasn’t prepared to visit them due to the dogs. Was I being unreasonable?!

I said they were welcome to visit us (without the dogs) or we could meet in a pub or somewhere.

The relatives are upset we didn’t visit.

If you have dogs, is that what it’s like in your house?!

OP posts:
fleshmarketclose · 27/12/2018 09:28

At our house dog would bark if you knocked at the door, would expect a scratch behind the ears after you had taken off your coat and then would either lie by your feet or sit on my knee, If you invited her she would sit on your knee. She wouldn't lick, scratch, take anything off of you or chew your shoes. She would be delighted if you threw her toy or gave her a treat from her treat box though.

Knittink · 27/12/2018 09:28

My dog is a bit wary of newcomers to the house. He would prefer you to ignore him. He adores various regular visitors that he knows well though, and they will be licked, bounced at and nudged with his nose to elicit more stroking. But they are fine with that. He wouldn't do this to simeone unfamiliar or unwelcoming.

GaraMedouar · 27/12/2018 09:33

YANBU - you have a small baby, perfectly fine for you to say come to me without dog. I would say the same.

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Trampire · 27/12/2018 09:35

In our house, you would get

barking when you first ring the doorbell,

Then lots little 'donuts of happiness' as he ran round and round in front of you.

Then be leaned in for a bit, stared at and be asked for a stroke.

If he knows you well, he may lick once or twice.

If you'd hate this then yes, maybe we should visit you or maybe meet out for a walk.

thesnapandfartisinfallible · 27/12/2018 09:36

Not in my bloody house. Barking, yes ok, they get excited and occasionally do bark when people knock on the door. You would get licked if they particularly love you but as for the rest, Hell No!

We don't do leaping about like nutters, snatching or shoe stealing. They'd be sent to bed if they jumped up at visitors. They're allowed to jump at me if I invite them to, that's it. Same with the sofa, it's invitation only. Licking is a normal way of showing affection and barking is their only way of communicating so I think those are just part of having dogs but I wouldnt be having the rest of it. You have to teach dogs good manners and it doesn't sound like these have been taught any better.

Eatmycheese · 27/12/2018 09:36

Ah, @FennyBridges we have a leaner too! And a snuggle right into the length of your thigh when you're sat on the sofa.
She has also been known to lick and definitely has the Lady and the Tramp eye thing going on too Grin

Witchonastick · 27/12/2018 09:37

I’d never shut my dog outside just because someone didn’t like her.
I’d rather the miserable sods didn’t visit.

Witchonastick · 27/12/2018 09:39

Toddlers are worse than many dogs!

Heyha · 27/12/2018 09:44

You're right to not be happy about all of that even without a child. Our dog will trot round you wagging. .After that she will sit at your feet and stare lovingly at you, at most. Nobody has ever objected to her but she would be put in the kitchen if anybody was uncomfortable. I don't think a bark or two at the door is unreasonable as that's one reason why folk might have dogs, nor is an attempt at licking, as long as the dog understands being told 'no' if you don't want it.

MishMashMosher · 27/12/2018 09:44

Dogs would bark when you rang the door bell, you'd get a quick sniff as if you didn't, they would carry on barking. They would try and get any kind of attention from you but I'd make them stay away from you unless you wanted to. If you allowed them, they would be on your lap. Apart from the initial sniff at the door, I would make them stay away from visitors unless the visitor liked dogs. The breed doesn't shed hair so you'd not get hairy at least.

Original poster
Eatyourveg88 · 27/12/2018 09:51

Thanks all.

I’m happy to be barked at on arrival & I’m happy to pat the dog, say hello.

The scratching is annoying as I can’t wear tights (they get laddered) and have to basically wear old jeans.

I’m happy to no go to their house but feel like they think I’m a prude or something as I don’t like having my face licked, being climbed on etc

OP posts:
CharminglyGawky · 27/12/2018 09:51

My dog would bark at the doorbell a bit but stop the second the door opens and would not barge past or anything, she would waggle at you in greeting but not jump up. Your shoes would be safe, your food and drink would be safe even if you put a plate on the floor or a toddler was wondering round with a biscuit and you would only be licked if you cuddled her enthusiastically a stroke or pat on the head etc would be met with wagging tail and no more.

She might try sitting on your feet or nudging your arm with a wet nose if you stopped stroking her (if you hadn't started in the first place she wouldn't bother) but I call her away from guests and she would stay in her bed if asked.

If you were bringing a baby or small child I would talk to you in advance and keep her out of the way if asked. I would not put her outside as she would just sit and whine but I would shut her out of the living room if required. I'd also make sure the carpet was hovered seconds before you arrive and would have a clean blanket in case you wanted to lay baby down so no fur worries.

As for scratches Shock I suppose it is possible if someone was rolling around on the floor with her playing? Unlikely though.

I wouldn't take a baby to a house with badly behaved dogs either. Though a toddler would be more at risk as they are more at dog level.

NotSureWhoIAmToday · 27/12/2018 09:55

You would get a quick, luck to one of your legs if you were wearing shorts or a skirt. Apart from that it would be a lot of initial wagging and a bit of sniffing. Then she would lie at your feet (not ours, no loyalty in this lab) looking soulfully up at you.

If toddlers around she is aware of the potential for dropped biscuits do may take longer to settle.

No barking, licking (apart from above to the legs), scratching, stealing, or chewing. Sounds like your relatives' dog is badly trained.

Littleraindrop15 · 27/12/2018 09:58

For the first 5mins you will be ambushed with sniffs and cuddles and then he will be gone. Unless you call him over for a treat then you get the look into my eyes I am the devil and will take your soul if you deny me treats am so cute.

wibblywobblyfish · 27/12/2018 09:59

I normally put the dog in his crate if we have visitors as he gets overexcited and he is enormous. He will jump up, luck, bark, offer you toys if he got the chance. He loves people and just wants to join in. I wouldn't trust him to be gentle around a baby or toddler as he would lick them and knock them over with his tail. I don't generally invite non dog lovers around to the house as their nervousness and disapproval gets on my nerves, even when he's sat in his crate looking sad.

TeaByTheSeaside · 27/12/2018 10:04

If a dog does those things when you go round it's because it's not well trained.

If you get a dog you must be prepared to put in the commitment and expense of a dog trainer (either a class or preferably 1 to 1) for many months and work with the dog at home. It's hard work.

A lot of people don't bother and that's why there are so many badly behaved dogs.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 27/12/2018 10:06

My dog is very excited when you arrive and greets you but then he forgets and goes to sleep and you will wonder where he is. I wouldn't ever ever let my dog bother a baby.

kenandbarbie · 27/12/2018 10:06

I have a dog, it wouldn't do any of those things. It would sit on your knee and make you strike it my pawing at you though. But it's small so you could just push it off.

villainousbroodmare · 27/12/2018 10:15

I am a dog owner and dog lover, and I would be very irritated by the type of behaviour you describe. I would certainly not visit with a baby; YANBU on that score and they are very unintelligent if they can't see how unpleasant that all is. My dog would greet you at the gate or door without barking or leaping. Big smile, waving tail, polite distance. He would then lie down nearby and enjoy the company, and if he liked you, would subtly reverse into your knee so you could stroke him if you wished. If you didn't like him, I would send him to bed where he would relax. He doesn't get on furniture or chew anything except a bone or his own toys.

LEMtheoriginal · 27/12/2018 10:20

My dogs will say hello. If you make the mistake of interacting then you will get jumped on (jack russels) for cuddles. One of my dogs will get down if told the other is an obtuse wanker and needs to be physically pushed down.

I dont have many visitors. Usually only dd1 and her dp. They like dogs so are happy to have them sat on them. So its fine. The same for my dm.

If other people come the dogs are generally put outside if they pester folk after the initial greeting. I only put tgem out for a short time but generally i dont have visitors so not an issue.

Dd2 has friends round and after the initial hello the dogs decide for themselves that kids are not good laps to sit on so they tend to ignore them.

Not had a baby round but i would most likely put them outside or upstairs if i did.

If you visited my house i would probably allow the dogs to say hello etc and then ask if they bothering you. If you are polite and say no.....well Grin but id not be offended if you said they were a pain.

Also my dogs are perceptive and leave people alone who show little interest.

harrypotterfan1604 · 27/12/2018 10:22

I have 2 dogs who very much love visitors. They jump, bark, lick and generally sit all over anyone who visits. For this reason we have a baby gate to separate our kitchen and lounge and the dogs get put into the kitchen when visitors come unless they are people who are happy to be greeted in the doggy way. I would never let them greet anyone the way they do who was uncomfortable with it. Also if anyone of visiting with children the dogs go into the kitchen to calm down before I let them anywhere near anybody’s kids.

NotOnTheBench · 27/12/2018 10:28

Mine would come for a cuddle, get told to stay down if he jumped up. If a visitor obviously doesn't like dogs, then he goes to his crate. It's not cruel to him as he sleeps there anyway and much more relaxed for the visitor.

StoppinBy · 27/12/2018 10:33

At our house our dog would never do any of those things and is extremely well behaved but I would still put him outside if we have visitors and even more so if someone visited with kids or a baby.

At some people's house they think this kind of thing is acceptable and they are not places that i would visit now I have kids. Prior to having kids it would have annoyed me too but not in the same way as now.

I would defenitely discuss why you are not going to visit as the owner may not have considered the way you feel and may be willing to remove the dog when you visit with baby.

Soubriquet · 27/12/2018 10:35

With my two you would be barked at initially

They do bark when people come in.

They will then race to you to have a bit of fuss and maybe give you a lick.

We let them if the person wants to interact, but if it’s clear that they don’t, we call the dogs away.

merrymouse · 27/12/2018 10:47

I would not put my dog in the same room as a very young baby. Not a barker, but can get over excited when new people enter the house and isn't used to babies or young children.

I assume that people don't want to interact with my dog unless they make it clear that they do.