House guests moan (lighthearted)

[CoperCabana]

Why would you put dirty stuff / cut veg into clean drainer

Why woukd you let your dogs lick the dishes

Why would you sit on your arse all day and complain but do fuck all to help

And breathe...

We have our last guests tomorrow. Despite telling me to take it easy this Christmas as we have baby DS2 they have invited themselves to Christmas part2 at ours as they were away for Christmas Day.

Agreed menu as dietary requirements and they confirm they are for the day, expecting dinner at lunchtime and a buffet in the evening, all fine.

Speak to them on Boxing Day, not planning on coming until 1pm now instead of 11am. Ok, I can work with that.

Phone call yesterday, one of the party is poorly so won't be coming, fair enough, they have now decided they are just coming for Christmas dinner and will leave late afternoon. 🤷🏻‍♀️

“Don’t waste your money on a present for me! That’s far too much trouble! Just wrap up a small bar of chocolate for the children to give to me. Or a packet of Polos. In newspaper. Don’t go using nice wrapping paper.”
Every. Year. I wish I could knit a hair shirt.

Feel free to knock on the front door repeatedly, ring the doorbell and then text me to ask if I'm home, when I'm putting my DD to bed at 6.30pm and I told you to come in quietly so as not to bother us. I told you this 45 minutes ago. Then continue to talk loudly in the hallway about where I might be when you do come in.

Of course I "remember back in 1978" when I was born in 1985. Why do you looked shocked and appalled that I'm not up to speed with what happened in primary schools 7 years before I was born.

Don't look offended when I say you can't have something because it has gluten in (FIL "has coeliacs") then pour yourself a beer and eat the food anyway. YOU DON'T HAVE COELIACS, YOU JUST GET A DODGY TUMMY FROM ALL THE SHIT YOU CONSTANTLY SHOVEL INTO YOUR MOUTH.

No, I don't know your friend Linda. You knew her when you lived 200 miles away, 20 years ago and I only married into your family 10 years ago. I don't give a fuck what she's doing and I'm trying really hard to make my face look interested.

Feel free to make me host fish and chips for 10 people, while dealing with an overtired toddler, a newborn baby and postnatal anxiety, and don't save any fish and chips for me once I've come down from putting DD to bed. And sure, I'll make you all cups of tea while trying to eat the leftovers you did bother leaving me.

Thank god for DSIL (married into the family like I did) who thinks our in laws are as mental as I do and made herself at home with making cups of tea AND brought us some gooey chocolate cake. She's a good un.

HausFrau29 that’s awful! The fact they didn’t save any food for you is just nasty. Hope they’re leaving soon.

I hope you said something about not saving you any food?! And if you didn't, what about your DH? That kind of behaviour is nasty.

Please, PLEASE stop thinking that rinsing cups and spoons under a tap with no soap is washing them. I've had to go back through my cupboards to find the tea stained ones that didn't make it to the dishwasher.

I have one of those visitors! 😩
Thinks a quick ‘swill’ under the tap cleans it! 🙊

My visitors’ plan was to leave the same dirty mugs on the side the whole day ‘because we’ll be using them again anyway ‘.

I use one mug all day when I'm at home. I rinse it between uses but I would rather use one mug and one glass all day than fill the dishwasher with multiple mugs.

I wouldn't do that in someone else's house though.

@MaisyPops
Me too when it’s just me at home !

There were 6 of them.......

But now there’s none

That makes me feel better. I thought that was going to be another mumsnet taboo I fell into (like not knowing what zoflora was pre mumsnet and still owning a toilet brush )

Not a moan - more of a funny one.
One of my guests over Christmas was a long-standing friend who happens to be autistic with some physical disabilities. During a two-night stay my friend did the following -
Got up at 3am to have a shower because they were 'feeling itchy' - when I woke up with a full bladder at 3.25am I had to traipse downstairs to the cold toilet all bleary-eyed.
Got up at 4am the next night to go to the toilet, and knocked a shelf of items to the ground, waking me up.
Got up at 5am to make a cup of coffee and crashed around the kichen.
Offered me a drink, moved the bottle from the sideboard to the table, got distracted and poured their own, leaving me with nothing.
Offered to load the dishwasher and then spent 45 minutes cleaning random kitchen items (sink, taps, hatch to lounge) leaving a huge pile of dirty dishes and glasses beside the dishwasher.
Offered to make me a cup of tea, boiled the kettle and then wandered off to look at plants in the garden.

@MaisyPops

I have a toilet brush and I didn’t know about zoflora. Don’t tell anyone...

6th continuous day of seeing relatives, and only 1 more to go, can’t wait.

Oh gosh sorry I genuinely didn’t think mine would be of interest

A lovely friend... who by all accounts did curry for the gathering made up of many jars and packet rice 😂😂

Messaged her while in town today telling her Sainsbury’s had loads of reduced Christmas stuff- I got ‘🤬🤬🤬’ as the reply 👏🏻👏🏻🤣🤣

To be honest though, if you’ve 8 people to feed, it can’t be surprising that well... 8 people need feeding!!? On the one day of the year that nothing is open.
Have to admit I did suggest she ‘treated’ them all to McDonald’s 😂😂 the one near us was open on the big day, I know because dp suggested we got a mc breakfast 😂😂

ellendegeneres we have all been dying for you to come back and tell us who asks to borrow turkey I can now sleep at night

Why show up to visit your 11 month old Grandchild who has just got over norovirus with a stinking cold and pass it on... all because 'it's christmas'

Why show up and fall asleep half an hour later on the sofa without bothering with anyone

How much family have I seen? None.
How many friends have I seen? All of them!

They’ve gone! Thank the lord!

Oh this is quality.
Loitering in the kitchen whilst i do everything. Seriously f off or use your initiative like lay the table without asking

Me: DSIL, I made you this lovely delicious vegetarian dish

DSIL: Oh, I’ll just have the turkey as a special treat thanks

I've got one of those!

To the people whose MIL wouldn't go to bed before DH, my DB's MIL moved in for her last years and would plonk herself in the middle of their sofa until they went to bed. So they would pretend to go to bed and then sneak back downstairs and continue their evening

She's home, although 1% of the earth's circumference listening to the same remark every five minutes... we'll miss her when she's gone.

*I have a toilet brush and I didn’t know about zoflora. Don’t tell anyone..

Your secret is safe with us Izzy . . What happens on Mumsnet . . .

This morning I am in solidarity with my SIL. They are currently hosting DM. Yesterday DM decided she needed to buy prunes 😱😱 but not any old prunes it had to be 'prunes in a tin'. So SIL, DNeice and DM slowly trawled the Metro Centre amongst the crowds looking for the prunes DM wanted😂😂😂 DM moaned constantly about the crowds and never shut up about them once home!

She thought she'd lost her glasses case and they'd returned to two shops before she found said glasses case in her coat pocket 😂😂😂

And yes SIL she does follow you around asking the same questions 😂😂😂

Am laughing as they never believe anything I say about DM - oh Lordy this coffee in peace and quiet is just wonderful.

Next year can we agree beforehand to meet halfway between our two homes so I can avoid the forensic cleaning session I did before the visit which you subsequently cancelled?

When you have been here for 6 sodding days!!!! Their is absolutely no need whatsoever for you to interrupt or chirp into every conversation we have. We have been very polite and inclusive towards you and bent over backwards to accommodate you but occasionally I sometimes dare have a conversation with my husband about something unrelated to you I.e about a child’s doctors or dental appointment, how a child is feeling, whether or not a child’s is available/free to take part in a particular hobby this weekend mostly this doesn’t involve you or require any xxxxxxx input from you so need for you to interrupt or chirp in.