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Original poster

Unwritten rules of the road

164 replies

abacucat · 17/12/2018 16:23

Just been out driving and it reminds me of the unwritten driving rules that many seem to follow. So these are -

  • It is fine to stop on a double yellow as long as you put your hazards on
  • It is fine to park somewhere illegal as long as it is "only for a minute"
  • It is fine to speed if you are "in a hurry"
OP posts:
NoSuchThingAsAlpha · 17/12/2018 18:21

If you're in a rush to get back to your car with a shopping trolley and small children, it's recommended that you walk directly behind any car already reversing out of a space. That way, you don't have to wait for it to finish its manouvers.

Peachbubble · 17/12/2018 18:24

No need to put your lights on at dusk, you'll be able to other drivers as they will have theirs on and that's all that matters.
And if you drive a black car, never ever put your lights on until it's very dark out.
When there is plenty of street parking, always park behind another car as close as possible, or reverse as close as you can to the front bumper of the car behind. It doesn't matter if they can't get out of their space, as long as you can.
When street parking is at a premium, don't bother getting as close to a dropped kerb as possible, park in the middle of a two space section, so nobody else can park there.

Deucebumps · 17/12/2018 18:36

When there's an accident causing gridlock on the road ahead meaning you won't be moving forwards for at least another two traffic light sequences, it's perfectly fine to block the yellow box so traffic heading the other way can't get past you.

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Driving & parking
mydogisanidiot · 17/12/2018 18:39

When parking outside a nursery school on a narrow one way street don't bother checking for cyclists coming up behind you when you fling open your door. Same goes for when you are reversing off the pavement into the street. As long as there are no cars coming, just go for it!
Don't worry about stopping for pedestrians or cyclists when you need to cross a pavement/cycle path to get on the road. Give way signs are for losers.
Car drivers. Feel free to hog loading bays when using cash points/picking your children up from school/nipping into the newsagents. Delivery drivers are quite happy to drive round the block time and time again looking for somewhere to stop until you have finished your very important business.

ShockedHorrored · 17/12/2018 18:43

Apparently the roundabout in my village has different rules to every other roundabout and you use the left lane to go left only and the right ha d lane for straight on/turning right. God forbid you try and go straight on in the left lane, you’ll get beeped by the dick going straight on in the right hand lane. Hmm
And there’s no lane markings, it’s just a small roundabout with these two lanes leading up to it and all the other exits are single lane. Fuckers. I never know what to do. Confused

Brittanyspears · 17/12/2018 18:44

Audi’s have a sensor that allows them to drive 2cm behind you in a dark storm no probs.

If you drive a Duster you don’t need to have passed your test.

Likewise if you are over 90, 10 mph on a 60 limit road, driving almost on the kerb is A OK.

Beeping your horn to force someone onto a busy round about with no spaces is the quickest way to get home.

Brittanyspears · 17/12/2018 18:44

Cylists can use the road and pavement without recognising any signs, lights or people walking.

Cauliflowersqueeze · 17/12/2018 18:45

One flash of your lights means “go on then I’ll wait” and two means “thanks”. 5 means “are you coming or not I can’t wait all day ffs!”

IHaveBrilloHair · 17/12/2018 18:48

Hazard lights are to be used so you can stop wherever you want, in fact they were designed to pick up your takeaway.

IHaveBrilloHair · 17/12/2018 18:50

A woman driver in a small car must be overtaken at all costs, Yes you were driving at 50 in a 70 limit but that pesky woman cannot get the better of you.

ILiveInSalemsLot · 17/12/2018 18:56

I agree that there’s no need to use indicators anymore.

The speed limit on motorways changes to 90 at night

If you park in a mostly empty car park, please park alongside another car in case your car feels lonely.

Original poster
abacucat · 17/12/2018 18:58

If you park in a mostly empty car park, please park alongside another car in case your car feels lonely.
I do that as I think it makes it less likely to be broken into.

OP posts:
moonfacebaby · 17/12/2018 19:05

Four lanes on a motorway gives you the right to sit in the third lane, and you must not exceed 50 miles an hour. Do not move from this lane fit at least a 5 mile duration.

Lights are not necessary in a pea-souper fog, or when raining heavily. In fact, do not use them unless it’s so dark you can barely see your own hand in front of your face.

Courtesy and common sense should are not at all necessary. Be rude! Be incredibly stupid! You are the centre of the universe.

MeOldChina · 17/12/2018 19:14

Bloomin heck, i drive over 400 miles a week and I don't see the majoroty of these. I must drive in a courteous area.

There is some daredevil overtaking occasionally though.

Meckity1 · 17/12/2018 19:28

I'm a learner and I can add one.

If you are behind a learner at traffic lights on an upward slope, it is compulsory to get so far up their exhaust that it's practically adultery because if the learner rolls back it will just be on the instructor's insurance, right?

(at least every other lesson, and I haven't rolled back yet, but I've been seriously worried)

Tarrarra · 17/12/2018 19:34

If the obstruction is on your side of the road, but you're driving a 4x4, bus or van, you don't need to wait. Just pull over and the oncoming traffic will happily make way for you.

PlatypusPie · 17/12/2018 19:37

If wanting to turn into an obscured driveway/minor road the correct procedure is to continue at normal speed, brake suddenly and turn in - and then indicate, helpfully.

delilahbucket · 17/12/2018 19:37

When sat in queueing traffic, make sure you block all other junctions. Otherwise there will be free flowing traffic on the opposite side of the road when someone is turning right Hmm.

safariboot · 17/12/2018 19:42

All colours on traffic lights mean "go".

Green means go, obviously.

Amber means hurry up and go before it turns red.

Red means oh well it only just turned red when I went through. Or, if you're on a bicycle, it means go.

Red and amber means put your foot down and go, especially if you're turning right.

Moominfan · 17/12/2018 19:47

Don't indicate at roundabouts then beep really loudly when people pull out

ThatLibraryMiss · 17/12/2018 19:51

No Entry Except For Access signs apply only to peasants. They do not apply to you, because you are important and your desire to take a short cut down a little residential road trumps the highway code and the needs of the local residents.

If you are a cyclist you MUST ride on the pavement unless it is clearly advantageous to ride in the road. You must NOT use your bell to warn pedestrians that you are approaching them at speed from behind. In fact, it's better not to have a bell.

It is well known that driving conditions in Waitrose car parks are treacherous. Your purchase of a Range Rover for the purpose of taking your darlings to the school half a mile down the road is therefore fully justified.

Your satnav is right, and if you follow it you can do no wrong.

nothingwittyhere · 17/12/2018 20:08

When two lanes are due to merge, don’t consider merging until you get RIGHT to the end of the shorter lane and then try to force yourself in.
This isn't an unwritten rule, it's exactly what you're meant to do to alleviate congestion at roadworks. Google "merge in turn". (Roadworks often have signs up telling drivers to use both lanes and then merge in turn.)
Another example of how the British psyche cocks up the smooth running of the world Hmm

LittleAlbatross · 17/12/2018 20:15

If you're a tourist in the Lake District then it's essential that you drive at 20mph below the speed limit at all times and you must apply the brakes on every single corner. Furthermore if the carparks are full then it is perfectly acceptable to park across a farm gate or in a passing place as no one really minds.

Sparklingbrook · 17/12/2018 20:18

If you are behind a learner doing a right turn and they are taking a little longer give a loud toot on your horn because that'll really help. Also don't forget to tailgate them afterwards because that will encourage them along.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 17/12/2018 20:32

If you see a woman driving a sports car, it is your duty and inalienable right to pull away faster than them at traffic lights, to overtake, even when it isn’t possible and to rev your engine aggressively if you are next to them at lights. This applies particularly if the woman is driving an Audi TT.

White vans, or any other colours of commercial vehicle are permitted to pull out in front of traffic, without warning, so that other road users take avoiding action. It doesn’t matter if they end up on a grass verge, so long as the van and driver can get away without waiting.

When you are in a busy car park, you must drive reeeeaaaallly slowly, stopping and looking down every aisle, so that a queue builds up behind you.