Crownandheelshigh you poor love, it's so hard to come to terms with not being loved by a parent, your story sounds as if your life was full of chaos caused by the very people who should have cared most about you. Anniversaries of traumatic events can be emotive and stir up difficult feelings, I know that it can catapult you back to the events and reawaken the trauma, it's horrid. Don't let her own any part of you, no feelings, no headspace no memories..
There is a big red box with a small slot a bit like a post box, you'll find it behind the drivers seat, I want you to take it into the den and sit down with it in front of you. You know you're safe in here, now you're going to unpack the memories, trauma, hatred and abuse and push it all into the slot, it's hard because there's a flap that makes it impossible for anything posted in to ever get out again. All of the space those things were taking yo in your head and heart will instantly be filled up with the love, kindness and hope for the future that we've created on our beautiful, magical bus. Promise you will do this, when you're done put the box outside the bus under the magnolia tree, there it will consume all of the nasty stuff inside and tomorrow you can clean and polish it, we need to take care of it, pop it back behind the drivers seat in case you or someone else needs it again.
The only anniversary of this day is the day I came home 💕