Being called mum

[sizzledrizz]

I am often called this by those who work with my children: teachers, doctors, clinic staff etc.
I can understand if they are not familiar with my child and don't know dc's name, but it irks me when they could at least call me Mrs DC surname. I sometimes tell them my name, but they still insist on calling me mum.
The final nail has been that when my DC's father goes to collect them from school, a lot less than me, no teacher ever calls him 'dad'
Why is that?
Pisses me off

For goodness sake. Your child is the one the teacher is interested in, not you.
Stop being so self important, they probably can’t remember half of the kids names.
And as for people on here expected doctors to call you by your names? Lol!
They ain’t got time to be looking at records to find out your name, they’ve got patients to get through!

I use the term mum and dad all the time at work. In other situations I've been called mum.

Not once has it occurred to me that this is an issue worth wasting a brain cell over.

middlingmum what do you call the doctors? "Doc", "Love"? Probably not but why not?

"Jack's dad/ mum" would sound more normal imo.

I didn't like this either, nor am I keen on Mrs... tbh I usually don't even twig it's me they are talking to, despite using it for 20 years I've never got used to being called by my married name!

I don't think any of DD's teachers called me mum. They just avoid using anything. I do the same when I talk to parents and I haven't yet found a reason to address them by any name specifically. If they called me "Mrs. DD surname" it would be wrong as I'm "miss own surname"(difficult to say too). Wouldn't offend me tbh, but there are a lot of people who would jump 3 feet up.

Tbh it can be a minefield, mixed families, double barreled surnames, kids one surname ,mum another, we even had one sibling with dad's surname and one sibling with mum's, special guardianships, foster care etc.Then there's the whole "miss,ms,mrs,dr".

In written form most letters are addressed as "parent/carer of child name and surname".

Hi @sizzledrizz - completely agree - I think it's rude and dehumanising. I'm only 11 weeks pregnant, but fully expecting this to happen in the future. I'm ready to say "you can call me Dr Surname or Laura" - that will fuck them off!!!!

It’s not a big deal

its worse when they say it with a slight rise in the voice, as in 'DS has had a great day today, Mu-um?'. You realise that they are on the fence on as to whether you are Mum or Grandma....

Always happened to me. Never bothered me at all. I quite liked it.

YANBU to be irked by it though. That's your right.

Doesn’t bother me at all, I am their mum.

At appointments if we’ve both been there the midwife/nurse/whoever has said “are you mum and dad?” And we say “yes”.

Also I ’ve worked in a variety of hospitals in various settings and consultants/doctors ARE called their first name by other members of staff.
Patients also do call them “doc” “lovey” “son” “mate” and a whole list of things. I’ve never seen anyone bat an eyelid.

Doctors? They don't have time, get over it. You are mum. Have you any idea how stressful their job is without having to lick your arse?

surely if they are professionals working with your DC, they know your surname?
Lots of parents have different surnames to their children.

I am the mother of my DC. I am not the mother of anyone else. Therefore nobody else is entitled to call me mum. I don't recall a single dr introducing themselves with their first name. When they do, they may use mine. If I introduce myself as Mrs Roses there is no need whatsoever to refer to me as "mum" during the same conversation.

I think a lot of people in professions like teaching or medicine come across far too many people to reasonably remember everyone's names.

Just because they know your child's surname doesn't mean they can assume you are Mrs Child's Surname and making such an assuming would likely be considered very offensive by some.

It doesn't bother me. My child's teacher is much more important to me than I am to them and I completely recognise that.

So why can't the highly educated professional refer to Mary's mum, rather than just "mum".

As long as the professional knows who my child is and what their issues are then I don’t mind whether they call me mum or by my first or surname. They have enough on their plates without having to remember my prefered moniker. The important thing is they know who my child is.

DH and I were also quite important to the DC's schools. About £20k pa per child. Funnily enough, the staff never ever called us mum and dad. Doen't happen at pur local private hospital either. Just at the NHS one.

Yes I do get this a lot but doesn't really bother me.

DH gets called Dad though too.

DH and I were also quite important to the DC's schools. About £20k pa per child. Funnily enough, the staff never ever called us mum and dad. Doen't happen at pur local private hospital either. Just at the NHS one.

Must be just us paupers it happens to then.

My mum once called me mum, now that was a bit weird.

I'm with you, OP, it really irks me.

Yes, I'm a mum, but unless you're my child it's not your prerogative to call me that.

Earlier this year I spent 4 months on a neonatal unit after my daughter was born 14 weeks prematurely. Here I could understand to an extent why overworked medical staff referred to me as "mum" - I didn't know all their names, so why would I expect them to know mine?

I did however lose my cool with one particular nurse who'd worked with us for weeks on end who persisted in calling me mum despite the me politely asking her to use my first name umpteen times.

Actually greenmeerkat the point is that people are a little more polite when they depend on you paying them.

I haven't read the responses so pardon me if I repeat anything. I am a teacher. I address mums and dads as mum/dad. A teacher knows your child's surname, how are we to know if you share the same one? Are you Ms, Mrs or Miss? You have to remember one teacher's name (maybe two if the class is lucky enough to have a TA), teachers have to remember 30. Are we now expected to remember parent's names and how to 'appropriately' address them too? Let's face it, we can't win. Someone will always be offended. You are a mum. There are worse things to be called. I wish being addressed as 'mum' was one of my life problems.