What will I do when my NCT friends go back to work?

[fixxle]

I'm really sad that all our catch ups will fizzle our! What will I do with myself?

I have made other friends but they'll be going back in six months and I'll be alone. Really scared.

Doesn't mean it's easy!

I think it's disappointing how this thread has gone as I'm in a similar position that a lot of my friends have gone back to work so I was hoping for some ideas, thank you to those who have been constructive.

@Thesnobbymiddleclassone
*Working parents still do childcare (some part time and share with each other) and manage their housework and career.

Just because you couldn't cope with all three don't start taking down the hard work employed parents do*
This literally made me . How dare you imply that SAHPs don't work as hard as WOHPs and are inferior. I know many WOHPs who openly admit that they find their time at home with their kids much harder than being at work, whilst I also know many that don't. My point is neither is definitely "easier" and unless you're a children's entertainer then I don't think you can work and do childcare at the same time so very very few people in reality manage to do all three elements you list without outsourcing some aspects. The SAHP may rely on their partner for financial support whilst a WOHP will rely on childcare/a relative/their partner to look after the kids whilst they work on their career. You may well have your opinion on which is better or more challenging but that's all it is, an opinon!

OP I have found in life that the phase "nature abhors a vacuum" is true. Things move on and you will naturally find things to do and people to see to replace those that aren't there any more for whatever reason. Maybe I have been lucky but have always found that to be the case at every life stage.

What HauntedPencil said, if you can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen goes both ways.

A WOHP has to compromise childcare because no one can be in two places at once.

This thread is grim.

People have been rude on both sides of the argument on this thread. I really don't see why it has to be an argument. Why are people so bothered about how other people choose to live their lives.

It's fair enough that the OP is worried about things changing, it can be daunting.

Are SAHPs required to justify their decision not to go to work on all threads where it's not the point of the thread?

Are all WOHP expected to justify their decisions too? There is always judgement and assumptions made on both sides.

In my experience women who choose to go back to work are judged far more harshly ( on here and in real life).....none more so than those who choose to work full-time. That's both anecdotal and as part of the research I do on women's career decision making behaviour.

Yes SAHMs have to justify why they won't outsource the care of the child that they had apparently. I honestly don't see the point in going out to work and paying for someone else to bring up your child if you can afford not to.

I went back to work pt but just did weekends, my nct group either moved away or went back to work full time it wasn't too much of a change for me as we usually only met up once a week but I also had other friends who'd just had children so I met up with them. I tried a few of the groups but my son didn't enjoy them for some reason. I used to go swimming with him once per week with a friend who had a child 7 months younger. It was a massive faff but it was nice to do something different and my son liked it sometimes. I got a second job through the week when he was 2 and in nursery. Don't worry too much about it op you'll figure it out when the time comes. Do you have any friends that are expecting or have had a baby?

orzo you've just demonstrated my point perfectly 👍

The OP wasn't asking WOHP to justify anything, she was asking a question about her particular situation and got jumped on.

It was all a bit tit for tat tbh. Anyone daring to suggest getting a job was jumped on too.

Like I said, judgements and assumptions made on both sides.

Probably because it was a goady suggestion in this context. Anyway it's something to bear in mind if mentioning my working status on a thread.

Not everyone was being goady. Many posters were sharing experiences of how they overcame loneliness and depression by going back to work.
Someone also suggested the op go swimming but she wasn't keen on that suggestion either. Those poople weren't jumped on. Sounds ridiculous when it's put like that doesn't it?

How hard for you being supported by your husband while your mummy friends all leave you and their children to go to work. How selfish of them!

I found it bewildering when people just glazed over when I said I was a SAHM.

Your life has revolved around NCT group to the point you are wondering what to do now.
I'm afraid I'd possibly glaze over too.

These are very goady comments.

Wl you don't have to go along with whatever is suggested. I just think you should be able to ask for some basic advice without a bunfight

so its this little gem from you @orzo

I honestly don't see the point in going out to work and paying for someone else to bring up your child if you can afford not to

Like i said- tit for tat.

Well the OP wasn't doing it. There was no need for a lot of crap directed at her

So many of the posters on this thread now saying 'but the other ones said bad things too'.

You're all as bad as each other. Why can't people have a discussion without the need to attack people who do things differently to you?

Just carry on going to toddler groups with parents that haven't gone back to work?

Why can't people put their hands up and say yes ok I was a bit snarky?

If you want to be a snark be one but don't try and be disingenuous and try to make out you posted in any regard to the OP.

That's the point i'm trying to make nerr

If that's directed at me @haunted then you need to read my posts. I haven't once been snarky to the op and only offered one piece of advice - which in no way related to whether she worked or not.

The only 'snarky' comments i have made was to a different poster who said 'fuck work' if you can get someone else to agree to let you live off them. That I stand by!