What will I do when my NCT friends go back to work?

[fixxle]

I'm really sad that all our catch ups will fizzle our! What will I do with myself?

I have made other friends but they'll be going back in six months and I'll be alone. Really scared.

Keep in touch with them.
Go to toddler groups, buggy walks, library songtime etc.

Toddler group :) churches tend to run good ones.

Friendships come and go, don't they? I went back to work full time when my DD was 3 months old (financial reasons), most of the remaining mums in my NCT were still on mat leave and many became SAHM or went back to work pt.

Sadly I lost contact with the majority of them, but I have made friends with colleagues, my DD's friends parents etc.

A lot of NCT groups in my experience break apart in the first year, after all the only thing in common is that you conceived at the same time.

You need to make the effort to meet other people, not just rely on NCT groups.

Like others I’d be surprised if all your NCT class went back full time. Of our class only myself and one other went back to work full time after Mat leave. It was a shame as they carried on weekday meets that I couldn’t make and nothing on weekends or evenings so I ended up pretty much losing touch with them. Now I’m on Mat leave again I might end up catching up with some of them for a while again. I’d have thought you’d still get chance to see most of your group - just maybe not all at once.

It's true that NCT put you together because you conceived at the same time but it's not true that that's the only thing you have in common. I've found a few things in common with a couple of the mums in my group, outside of just the babies.

I'm in a unique group where there is only five of us and all the other four are going back 4 days a week at least

Go to toddler groups and find new friends 🤗

Wow! I can’t believe how many people are telling you to go back to work. How rude!

I didn’t do NCT but met lots of people mainly through mush and am still in regular contact with a lot of them now. All but one of them went back full time so I know how you feel.
I just did more toddler groups, park days, days out etc with my DS. We’ve soon made more friends.

I love Mush, just wish the app was more user friendly!

I know, I can't believe people's first answer was 'get a job'. I've actually been working full time since I was 17 so I'm not adverse to working. Just I'm now fortunate enough where my husband can support us. Also, childcare is extortionate

Find a job. It gives you some social interaction and a space to recover from the drudgery at home (sorry, love my child but maternity leave was the most lonely, boring and depressive time of my life... DS was an amazingly easy baby, but we didn’t have much to talk about ) .

Finding a job also helps you to keep in touch with your friends, I found it bewildering when people just glazed over when I said I was a SAHM.

Another 'find a job' person. Read the whole thread fgs

There's nothing wrong with being a SAHM and no one 'glazes over'. You're probably projecting

How hard for you being supported by your husband while your mummy friends all leave you and their children to go to work. How selfish of them!

@Reccy2018 What? 😂

When did I ever say they were selfish?!

I went back to work much later then my mummy friends so I can sympathise.

Something to consider is your son will be so much more interactive in a few month I really enjoy going to places just the 2 of us. Also as many others have suggested there are lots of other groups and other parents to chat too.

Also what about your pre baby friends are any of them around?

I don't have any pre baby friends in the area and most of them work full time!

I think I'll stick with the groups I do and do more toddler groups.

I think what I'm saying is that I'll really miss my NCT group

Your life has revolved around NCT group to the point you are wondering what to do now.

I'm afraid I'd possibly glaze over too

It's all very much about you. If these are such great friends, perhaps spend less time worrying about yourself and a bit more time helping your friends transition from mat leave to working, as tbh, you are likely to have it much easier than them... You know, being supported by your husband and saving on childcare and going to baby groups and all. It sounds rather immature and ott to say you are 'scared' about people you've known for a few months going to work part time and leaving you to go to baby groups without them. Get a grip, love!

'Wow'

Yes🤣

Oh ffs. When I had my first DC I knew no one in my town (moved there to be between mine and DH's jobs, both 20+ miles away in opposite directions). My NCT group were a lifeline to me, we all clicked instantly, met up at least weekly during mat leave and are still close 15 years later, despite having all made other friends through nursery, schools etc. I was the only one who went back to work full time and I was really worried I'd lose my new friendships, so I know how you feel but in reverse. The one that did SAH got involved in the NCT committee, running toddler groups etc and made lots of new friends, I was back on mat leave again a year after going back to work and went part time after that, it all works itself out.

I'd say find a different toddler group for each day of the week, keep trying different ones until you find a routine that suits you. There are much more interesting groups for older babies, and there will be loads of mums not going back to work or going part time, and also looking for people to hang out with.

I hated when people started heading back to work, and mainly lost touch with those who went back full time. I only went back 3 days a week and still have an amazing group of friends who either work part time or are SAHMs and free to do stuff on the days that I don't work. Their DCs are my DS's most consistent friendship group, and have added so much to his life.

fixxle - you're not coming across as very pleasant on here. Hope you're nicer in RL as otherwise you'll be a Norma No Friend's

I can sympathise OP. I didn't do NCT but I made a group of mum friends through another group. We met up regularly and it was great. They all then went back to work and I was a SAHM. I make sure I do something every day. Toddler groups three times a week, a toddler sensory class one day and a music class another day. I'm usually out most of the morning and then it's home, lunch and nap time. I find the days do go quickly. Trying to catch up with my previous friends is so much harder now. Maybe suggest to one of the mums at a toddler group that you could meet for a coffee another day?