DP has spent an hour trying to collect 5 yr old from a play date

[Eastie77]

I'm at a loss. DD is 5 years old and went to a play date at a friends house today. DP went to pick her up at 6:30pm. Her friend only lives 5 minutes away so I've been wondering where he got too. He just turned up, his voice shaking saying he "cannot remove her" from her friends house, she is running around their sofa laughing, refusing to put her shoes on and will not come home. He left the house without her as he "couldn't take it anymore" after spending nearly an hour chasing around after her

I am in bed ill with DS who is also ill and he expected me to get dressed and go and get her! I have sent him back to fetch her and he has angrily left the house. I reminded him that he is a GROWN man surely capable of picking up a 5 year old child, putting her over his shoulder and walking out of the house?!! I feel like I'm in some kind of parallel universe here.

I'm friends with the play dates mother but god knows what she must be thinking..

"He is sitting in the front room now and feels 'drained' by it all"

Oh dear lord!

You've got yourself a right one there!

Sod that, what parenting does he do at home ?!

He clearly needs more parenting practice. If you are a kind person you will arrange for him to have more sole care of your DC to give him some.

While you have lie ins and leisurely me time.

Your DH sounds an utter wet drip, how on earth do you have any respect for him? . God help you both when your DD reaches the teenage years.

Please don't apologise for him-he;s an adult (supposedly)-he should be doing that himself.

If you & your son are still ill tomorrow he can take care of you & look after your daughter, can't he?

Sod that

If I was the 'playdate mum', your kid would've gone over my shoulder and into your car.

I’ve dragged Dd out without her shoes on when she’s acted like that.

It is actually really pathetic though that not only did he piss about for an hr & then come home without his daughter, he then expected who is ill to get up out of bed & go!

If i’d Been the host I’d have ushered your dd to the door, had all her stuff waiting her her, and caught her if nec and given her to her dad.

Omg.

I'm sorry OP but what a man baby he is.

Pathetic.

Reminds me of when my DH took baby (8 months ish) DD out in the car to give me a break, (I was having a meeting at the house). He was gone ages and when he eventually returned, pale and shaken, he said he'd had to stop the car in the road (luckily a very quiet rural lane) as she was crying, then he couldn't get her back in the car seat, (think increased crying with rigid starfish technique), he was stranded there for at least half an hour, trying to reinsert her into the car seat. I don't think he ever took her out again without me.

Seriously, why are people saying it's the other mum's responsibility to parent the child for him

This.

He needs The Voice. One more moment of messing around and there will be consequences.

Sorry op but I did have a giggle at your first post!

However your dh really needs to get a grip. Taking an hour to try and get your daughter and then LEAVING without her is just ridiculous and embarrassing.

Hopefully he's just having a bad day and it's a one off!

He needs to be taught Voice and The Look.

I’d be disgusted with him.

I can’t believe he left the first time.

Is it possible you are so ill you have hullicinated this? I'm just trying to imagine leaving empty-handed from collecting my child from a play date.

We've always split care of the DC and there are lots of occasions when he has sole responsibility as I travel for work every month (short European trips but away for 1-2 nights). The issue is not lack of practice. Our childminder has bluntly told him that he just needs parenting classes.

DD doesn't behave like this with anyone else. I also have 'that' voice and when she hears it she knows better than to keep messing around. She actually hates being told off and a stern word from her childminder or her teacher telling her he is disappointed with her can leave her on the verge of tears. However when DP asserts his authority she tends to laugh.

Did he try counting to 3?

You can't do anything about it now, but I would absolutely laying down the expected behaviour from her tomorrow. And it would include no play date's with anyone for a couple of weeks due to her behaviour yesterday and only when I see a lot better behaviour from her will I consider a play date after then, and if she chooses behaviour like this again then they will be NO play date at all.

And as for DH I would be having strong words about his lack of parenting allowed her to continue and he needs to women man up and be a parent NOW as on 10 years he won't have a cat in hell's chance being able to control her.

An hour! Dear god! My kids get to the count of three before there are consequences.

Agreed with a pp I’d knock play dates on the head for a while and tell dd why, that her behaviour meant she couldn’t be trusted for such a big girl activity until she showed she could act properly.

Your DH- I have no actual words.but he better address this now as he sounds staggeringly ineffectual!
She’ll run rings round him in a year or two!

To be honest I'm a bit soft and have had trouble getting dd out of a play date at that age. I did manage it in under an hour though. Maybe your dh needs to work on being more assertive with her on a regular basis so she gains a bit of respect for him.

Oh blimey op, how could you ever want to have sex with him again. What an utter, utter waste of space.

How embarrassing! Both your childs behaviour and your DPs.

There would be no more playdates for a while and my child would know why.

I’ve ocassionally had to help someone catch their overexcited dog but never heard of a parent needing that much help with child recall! 🤣🤣🤣