DP has spent an hour trying to collect 5 yr old from a play date

[Eastie77]

I'm at a loss. DD is 5 years old and went to a play date at a friends house today. DP went to pick her up at 6:30pm. Her friend only lives 5 minutes away so I've been wondering where he got too. He just turned up, his voice shaking saying he "cannot remove her" from her friends house, she is running around their sofa laughing, refusing to put her shoes on and will not come home. He left the house without her as he "couldn't take it anymore" after spending nearly an hour chasing around after her

I am in bed ill with DS who is also ill and he expected me to get dressed and go and get her! I have sent him back to fetch her and he has angrily left the house. I reminded him that he is a GROWN man surely capable of picking up a 5 year old child, putting her over his shoulder and walking out of the house?!! I feel like I'm in some kind of parallel universe here.

I'm friends with the play dates mother but god knows what she must be thinking..

Cringe!!

Jesus, I would be mortified! Do you know the other mother at all? I'm assuming he's not her dad, no-one can be that incompetent at parenting.

If that was me. And I was the other mother. I’d of helped. Got their shoes etc. Some daddies just don’t like being authoritative. I can’t believe he came home without her though. I’d of been so embarrassed!!

What did he say to the play date host? "sorry she'll have to live with you now"?!?!

Wish I hadn't been drinking when I read that...

How wonderful that she's making the most of her play date...as she'll never be asked back again, and once word spreads she may never be asked anywhere again.

So DP is annoyed she didn't sort it for him? Does he expect everyone to enable his ineffective parenting?

they are not coming back to end the playdate, he is coming back so she can choose her favourite PJs and take her best bear and have a sleepover.

Your dp is no match for her!

Are they back yet?

Seriously, why are people saying it's the other mum's responsibility to parent the child for him

I've been the playdate mother before, sent my DC's up to get ready for bed, coaxed the child out from back of dining room table. Bloody awkward for everyone.

I would be having very serious words with your DD. And your DP.

Omg what a wuss. How deeply unattractive for you but hilarious for us.

Are they back yet?
No. DD has decided she wants to go via the garage and buy a yellow mini cooper. DP is hoping the salesman will try and talk her out of it.

My DP whould pick her up throw her over his shoulder and put her in the car

So would I.

I do it in Tesco

he needed to do this with her ignore the fact its the DM

How has she managed to get to 5 without him knowing how to parent? I would be cringing wondering how my friend judged me for having such an ineffectual husband (but I’m a bit of an over thinker)

We had this with a friend of our youngest Dd. But with BOTH parents unable to manage to remove their child.

TWICE I had it. Them standing around grinning stupidly whilst their annoying kid dashed around and hid.

Never got asked again. Awful! They also brought their rabid toddlers and let them run around too.

"Play date parents should have helped"

Why?

Can't believe he was stupid enough to join in & chase her for an hour!

If that was me I would be banning play dates for an amount of time you are happy with, explaining to her that her behaviour wasn't appropriate and they will be reinstated when she can be trusted. Obviously your DP needs to learn from it too, he sounds spineless.

I used to be the play date mum in this situation and it was an unholy fucking nightmare. Ok the kids were about 3 at the time, but his girl kicked off every time her mother or father came to collect her, and it left my dd really upset, like inconsolable.
We moved house and made all the promises to keep in touch etc with my fingers crossed behind my back! Hell would have frozen over before I had that kid over again

I would not be impressed or amused if I was you.

DS used to try it on but he got the death stare and a count to 3. It wasn't often we had to count past two.
At 5 they know they are playing up. To be honest if I was in DH shoes I would be very cross and she wouldn't have been picked up and put in the car. If I was the other parent I would have been pissed off tbh.

DD is friends with a girl who has Down Syndrome. She doesn't like leaving our house so I play a hiding game with toys towards the front door. Then when she's found the one in the porch she's practically out of the door! Yes she still gets grumpy actually leaving the house but it's a shorter battle to the car and it works every time! If I can think of a way to get my friend's DD to leave surely your DD's own dad can work out a way!!?

Yes they are back. DD already slumped in a heap fast asleep, I didn't even get a chance to tell her off properly. I'm going to message the mum and apologise but I'm so embarrassed I don't know what to write. She doesn't really enforce rules with her kids at all (very relaxed parenting) so I'm not surprised that she didn't help to remove DD but anyway that's irrelevant as I 100% blame DP. I don't understand why he didn't just pick her up and leave the house! He is sitting in the front room now and feels 'drained' by it all

If I was play date Mum I would have taken my child away upstairs for a bath or told visiting child we were going out for the evening.

I’ve been the other mother in this scenario too. It was the Dad who came to pick up. I ended up picking the child up and carrying him out to Dad’s car myself. Dad kept asking me what I’d fed him (had I given him cheap squash with lots of E-numbers? No, he had orange juice). Etc etc.

Your DP is seriously useless. I can't believe he expected you to go and get her!!!