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Original poster

My husband strangled me

300 replies

BaconHead · 08/11/2018 11:01

I can't tell anyone in real life because I know I should leave him and I know that social services will get involved as we have children, we have 4dc, 2 together and 2 are my step children who live with us. We've been together 5 and half years, married for 2. Never done anything like this before, a couple of years ago he pushed me on the bed while we were having an argument, but nothing major like this. Yesterday morning we were arguing about something petty, and it ended up with him holding me down on the sofa and strangling me. I know I need to leave him but for some silly reason, I love him and don't want to split our family up, my stepdaughters had a rough time with their mother and moved in with us 2 and half years ago and have settled in and I don't want to uproot them again, they wouldn't be able to stay with me as I'm not their mum. I feel so hurt and upset and I can't even look at him at the moment, I can't stand the sight of him, I don't know if I'll ever look at him the same again. My neck is in agony today and I can't even go to the doctors or anything. I know I deserve better, I know I won't leave I just wanted to tell someone and can't in real life.

OP posts:
Justcallmelu · 08/11/2018 14:16

Please call 999 (you are in immediate danger).

7yo7yo · 08/11/2018 14:21

If you don’t want to go to police or gp can you tell someone in real life?
You need to get this out In the open.
HE HAS DONE THIS.
HE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS.
HE HAS BOUGHT SS AND POLICE INTO YOUR LIFE NOT YOU!

Justcallmelu · 08/11/2018 14:22

Police are lovely in Domestic Violence cases (I don't like them otherwise lol).

Please call them. You need to show them those messages too.

redrhubarb · 08/11/2018 14:24

Oh my goodness op ! Please leave him. What if he hurts your children next or kills one of you?

We can all give you support on here and I hope you have real life support too.

This is one of the only threads if read where my blood has ran cold 

notthiscrapagain · 08/11/2018 14:30

Oh god this is so scary to read 

This man is absolutely chilling in his behaviour to you. The thought of someone with their hands around my neck makes me feel sick, it is HIGHLY HIGHLY dangerous.

He then tells you to 'bore off with your drama', casually says you obviously can't see the doctor... I'm almost in disbelief at that but this is the nature of evil.

I am praying that you seek help to leave. Your stepdaughters need protection too but that can only be if you get help. See a doctor, please, please go today 

Justcallmelu · 08/11/2018 14:32

These threads are so frustrating because as an observer you can see what's happening and what will happen but you might as well be talking to a brick wall.

Don't be a brick wall OP. Don't be another statistic. Or do. It's no skin off my nose.

jusdepamplemousse · 08/11/2018 14:38

OP you are lucky to be alive.

Don’t stick around until your luck runs out.

Get help now.

You CAN apply for a residence order in respect of your DSDs.

But first things first, medical attention for you - now - and get you and the kids safe. Women’s aid can help.

Do not risk leaving your kids at the mercy of this violent manipulative criminal. If you stay, this is what you are doing. He has tried to kill you and he may well be successful next time.

Walkerbean16 · 08/11/2018 14:53

the texts are awful, he has no remorse and is trying to blame you for putting the children at risk. he has done this not you. please get out OP. i know it is hard but please please get your children away from this man.

do yoy have any marks? you need these documented now in case you decide to go in the future.

CluedoAddict · 08/11/2018 15:10

Don't become a statistic OP. Ring the police now. It will only get worse. You can tell from the texts he doesn't give a shiny shite about you.

CBA2RTFT · 08/11/2018 15:16

Now he's done this once, he'll do it again. He's made that leap, so he won't have anything holding him back next time.

This is so awful Sad

cjt110 · 08/11/2018 15:17

OP, are you there?

Troels · 08/11/2018 15:20

Holy Hell OP go to the doctor and tell him what happened. How will the kids feel when you are dead and he is in Prison, better to be with just you. This has happened in my family not me she stayed too long because the step kids needed her. Twice she ended up in A&E they knew what had happened tried to get her to say, she finally did, he had strangled her to blacking out more than once a week for a couple of years and luckily she survived, she's left with PTSD and all sorts of issues.
Go to the Doctor!!

Miscible · 08/11/2018 15:52

I agree that social services may well allow your access to your stepchildren if they become involved. Their father is likely to be a completely useless parent and you are probably their best chance for stability. However, if you try to hide his violence that won't be the case and social services may even worry about your ability to protect your own children.

smartiecake · 08/11/2018 16:01

You have to tell someone in real life and get support. You have to leave. Immediately. Take your children and go. Social services should be involved to protect your step children. You have to protect your step children and your own children and you. Please leave. Everything will be ok and everything you are worrying about can be sorted. Does he work? Can you get someone to come and collect you and your stuff while he is out. You need to report to the police and inform the children's schools. They will inform social services.
His behaviour could easily escalate and you are at risk of further violence. Please please keep yourself safe and leave. Don't tell him your plans. Get you and the kids out and take it from there. I am sure you will still have access and your step kids need protecting from this man.

smartiecake · 08/11/2018 16:03

You said he is lazy and you are miserable. Please escape and have a happy life. Someone in my extended family had her mom murdered by her dad. The long term effects for all those in the family are horrendous.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 08/11/2018 16:04

Miscible talks sense.

You may not want to mess the stability of the children up, that's understandable. You want to give them a nice, family home. Please remember it isn't you who is messing it up, it's him. If he kills you who will care for them? A father in jail and a dead mother and children in care. Or if he's not convicted he might have custody and hurt the kids.

It won't be easy but you can do this. See your doctor and call Women's Aid. A caring, loving, LIVING mother/step mum is what your children need.

You're probably in shock and not wanting to read or process all these messages and dire warnings. You'll want to minimise it so you don't have to deal with it. You want it to not be real but please listen.

One small first step. See the doctor. Flowers

SoleBizzz · 08/11/2018 16:13

Have you written your will yet?
Listen

He sends you a text and from tat you realised he doesnt care about you?

Erm ... he strangled you
. That should have given you a clue
I know you feel scared and lonely and huge responsibility for the children's emotions but you have to put YOU first now. What is good for you? Report and follow all instructions from the professionals involved.. You need to GET AWAY ASAP

Stop making excuses.. you are an empathic Woman and care so much but this us serious now.. he will kill you next time

Just go see GP and say you want him out

Call women's aid

PLEASE

RedPandaMama · 08/11/2018 16:18

This gave me such a chill.
Please please get out. I thought when I saw the title it was going to be a sex related thing he'd done without your consent, that'd be awful enough. He literally strangled you. Pretty sure that's attempted murder.

Please leave for the sake of yourself and your children's lives.

Malibeau · 08/11/2018 16:20

OP I feel physically sick with worry for you.

How are you now?

yawning801 · 08/11/2018 16:32

OP, I speak not one word of a lie.

I was just reading this thread whilst eating. I have just spent five minutes retching over the bin because I am so abhorred and terrified for you. Please, get out of there. Are you going to wait until you are in hospital, leaving your kids with this abusive, volatile man, before you make this decision?

GoodMorningSunshine · 08/11/2018 16:44

Op you need to get yourself and the children to a place of safety.

If you don't then later, tomorrow or next week you could be the next 'victim' one of us reads about in the news.

How can you honestly trust someone like that around you all?

You love him yes, but he can't do that to someone he loves? Think about that?

Sorry to hear you are going through this. X

WhyAmISoCold · 08/11/2018 16:45

Shame he didn't think of the kids when he did it. Get away from him now and protect your children.

WhingyNinja · 08/11/2018 16:45

I'm so worried for you, OP. Please let us know you're okay.

Original poster
BaconHead · 08/11/2018 16:52

I'm ok, trying to catch up on the messages in between, been doing school run and sorting kids tea, he's not here he's gone to football

OP posts:
redrhubarb · 08/11/2018 16:54

Is there someone you can call to be with you and get out the house?

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