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Original poster

talk me down! dd(14) poss pregnant

680 replies

dawnc27 · 06/11/2018 18:31

just moved dds school bag of the settee and a bit of papers slid out, on it it says a due date, possible names and names of godparents.
now this wouldnt normally phase me as id just think it was teenage rambling EXCEPT..... ive been asking myself when shes next due on, as we have been away for 2 weeks and back now around 10 days and shes not been on during that time which got me thinking back to when i last bought her any pads and tbh i cant remember. im thinking around july time which would tie in with the due date wrote down.
shes out at the moment which may be a good thing as i dont know what the fuck to do now!!
please help me by giving some advice

OP posts:
WhyAmISoCold · 06/11/2018 20:20

Let's hope she isn't. A 14 year old child being pregnant is hardly good news.

MysticFlyTrap · 06/11/2018 20:21

Fingers crossed she isn't pregnant op, you sound like a brilliant mum and she is lucky to have you. Sounds like you are very supportive whichever way this turns out.

doodledancing · 06/11/2018 20:23

I haven't read all the comments, only yours, but you sound like a lovely understanding mum with a very good relationship.
Hopefully a misunderstanding/ she's mistaken. Good luck! X

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candlefloozy · 06/11/2018 20:23

She will just need support whatever happens. Good luck x

Schuyler · 06/11/2018 20:23

I cannot believe some of the posters on here. I’d be devastated and angry if my 14 year old was pregnant. I would say that most parents would feel the same. However, you can feel devastated and angry and a whole host of other emotions without forcing them into doing what you think is best. You give them all the options and help them weigh up the pros and cons.

HackAttack · 06/11/2018 20:24

I am aware 14 year olds have time alone but usually parents have some awareness of boyfriends, activities, etc when apparently their 14 old is so supported Hmm

WinnerWinnerChickenDinner0 · 06/11/2018 20:25

You sound like a lovely mum

Hoping for the best FlowersFlowers

HackAttack · 06/11/2018 20:26

You realise this isn't a fucking sma advert? If a 14 year old is pregnant it is potentially an abuse or rape situation? She is a CHILD

MerryMarigold · 06/11/2018 20:28

My ds is nearly 13. He's still heavily reliant on my opinions most of the time, especially when it comes to very big decisions where he wouldn't even want the responsibility. Whilst OP can't force her child to do anything, she can give advice and guidance on what she thinks is best in such a scary, life changing situation. I'd imagine her child would actually want that at this age. Whilst it's ok to say, I'll support her decision, I think a 14yo needs more guidance than that.if they are genuinely confused.

Ozziewozzie · 06/11/2018 20:29

My dd1 is 21 phew. My dd2 is only 7 months. However, I do have 2 ds teenagers. I’ve always thought if they were to conceive a baby I would absolutely offer support to the young girl and her family. I have noticed here that few have thought about the potential father of the baby ( if there is one that is...baby I mean) I would support my son or daughter and hope that the other family welcomed this. I certainly wouldn’t expect all pressure to be on the female and her family. I would though respect that it’s her body therefore her ultimate decision.

nottakingthisanymore · 06/11/2018 20:30

If my 14 year old ddwas pregnant I would not be feeling sad because she was missing a residential!
Op- keep calm. She might not be. You need to ask her outright. You sound sensible enough not to shout and yell.

anitagreen · 06/11/2018 20:30

@HackAttack my parents supported me however didn't stop me having sex because I chose to and wanted to.

Squeakybubbles26 · 06/11/2018 20:31

Agree with winner you sound like a lovely mum. Hope all goes ok x

MistressoftheYoniverse · 06/11/2018 20:31

I made a conscious effort to engage with my DD all the way through her life but it's not that easy especially if they are emboldened by some social behaviours/norms aimed at people older than them...sex equals the possibility of having a child thats basic

KittyLane1 · 06/11/2018 20:32

14 is far, far too young to have a baby. I was 18 and that was too young.

14 year old girls like what?, music? Hanging round McDonalds ? Buying make up? Imagine all that gone and replaced with nappies, teething rings and rhyme time.

No time for Insta selfies, watching their mates at the fun fair on Snapchat while they are at home with a crying baby.

How would she pay for cots etc? Nappies, clothes, toys, how can a 17/18 year old negotiate their way through picking a nursery or school for their child?

And babies do not stay babies for long, she will be responsible for the human she creates for her entire life. Kids never think their babies might be born prem or disabled or needing surgery etc.

If she is pregnant, I would be very blunt with her and explain the realities of young parenthood.

MsJolly · 06/11/2018 20:33
Flowers
Witchesbritches · 06/11/2018 20:33

You sound lovely Dawn. Your DD is lucky, very lucky, to have you.

I hope she’s not pregnant, but if she is, then at least she has a Mum who will support her. Either way you’ve got a lot of talking to do with DD, and potentially DH.

Don’t waste your breath on the stupid posts, just ignore them.

CatsCatsCats11 · 06/11/2018 20:33

Hope everything is going ok OP

HackAttack · 06/11/2018 20:33

Why, at 14, was that something you wanted Anita?

katseyes7 · 06/11/2018 20:33

l don't think the OP is 'more concerned' at her daughter possibly missing a residential course. l think she was 'thinking out loud' and trying to process things in her head when she typed the original post. She sounds like an amazing mother and her daughter is very, very lucky to have her, whatever the outcome.

Petalflowers · 06/11/2018 20:34

Hoping The Conversation is going well. Wishing you all the best.

MistressoftheYoniverse · 06/11/2018 20:34

and also the realities of ending a life

ThisIsWhatItSoundsLike · 06/11/2018 20:34

And what kitty you cannot force a 14 yo to abort her child if she is against it, no matter your opinion is.

MistressoftheYoniverse · 06/11/2018 20:34

agree kats

unknownalone · 06/11/2018 20:38

@dawnc27 my mother was 15 when she had me she's now 37 and I'm 22 and we are best friends. When she found out she was pregnant her grandfather didn't speak to her for 2 years and her father tried forcing her to have a abortion, she was a troubled teenager who was a mess, she took drugs and didn't have any support accept my grandmother (her mum) soon as she seen them two lines on the test she changed her whole life to have me, it wasn't easy and yes she made mistakes, and yes she give up going out with friends ect but if anyone asks her it was the best decision she ever made I changed her life for the better, moral of the story a young mother can still be a good mother, it wouldn't be easy but aslong as your dd knows the hard facts that it's gonna be hard work she be okay, sounds like your a lovely mother who will love and support her all the way through, good luck to you xx