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Original poster

talk me down! dd(14) poss pregnant

680 replies

dawnc27 · 06/11/2018 18:31

just moved dds school bag of the settee and a bit of papers slid out, on it it says a due date, possible names and names of godparents.
now this wouldnt normally phase me as id just think it was teenage rambling EXCEPT..... ive been asking myself when shes next due on, as we have been away for 2 weeks and back now around 10 days and shes not been on during that time which got me thinking back to when i last bought her any pads and tbh i cant remember. im thinking around july time which would tie in with the due date wrote down.
shes out at the moment which may be a good thing as i dont know what the fuck to do now!!
please help me by giving some advice

OP posts:
DistanceCall · 07/11/2018 07:21

Ask her to take a pregnancy test. Hopefully she won't be pregnant.

And then, for God's sake, take her to a GP or a nurse or something so she can learn about human sexuality. How someone has a 14-year-old daughter who has just had her periods and talking about sex is "still on her to do list" is beyond me.

DistanceCall · 07/11/2018 07:23

oh and the list is just a joke between her and her mates......
no, sorry im not buying that. shes normally more grown up in her actions than doing something like that as far as i know

So making a list of godparents is not grown up but (supposedly) lying to you about being pregnant is???

yawning801 · 07/11/2018 07:23

Still can't believe that there are some people advising OP to march her down to an abortion clinic. You do realise that a 14 year old is a teenager, and therefore has a brain and a will of her own?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
YeOldeTrout · 07/11/2018 07:27

There's no evidence that the girl is pregnant. Confused

Soubriquet · 07/11/2018 07:30

OP you need to make her take a test. She’s 14.

KittyLane1 · 07/11/2018 07:33

MN is weird sometimes. On one thread you will get a group of posters saying 14 is too young to get a piercing or dye their hair or have a Saturday job.
On another thread, 14 is absolutely a good age to create and maintain a human life and in fact it will make her a very successful manager in 10 years time. Hmm

DistanceCall · 07/11/2018 07:35

14 is an absolutely insane age to have a child. She's a child, for chrissake.

Ideally, she won't be pregnant. Less ideally, she will have an abortion.

The worst option - she has the child and her childhood and youth end ipso facto.

Janus · 07/11/2018 07:40

I have to say that you do sound supportive OP but I absolutely could not wait a week before finding out. That week could make a difference about being able to access an abortion or not. I could not just casually carry on the week with that in the back of my mind.
Just say to her that you’ve bought a test today and you’d like her to do the test just so you both know how to proceed. You can’t stand over her and make her but you can request and repeat that request.

GeorgeTheHippo · 07/11/2018 07:45

I think you need to deal with this much faster, OP. If she needs a termination then an early one is best. And you think she is a few weeks along. You don't have time to pussy foot around this.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 07/11/2018 07:51

She's 14, she's still a child. I wonder how she imagines having a baby will be, all snuggly little toes and cuddles.

OP, you have to help her take the rose tinted glasses and make an informed decision, in a gentle way of course.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 07/11/2018 07:52

take off

DistanceCall · 07/11/2018 07:55

OP, you have to help her take the rose tinted glasses and make an informed decision, in a gentle way of course.

Not gentle. Realistic. Which is to say, rather brutal at 14.

PattiStanger · 07/11/2018 07:57

Plantsarepeopletoo - if you don't believe the OP report the thread

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 07/11/2018 07:58

You are right, Distance, realistic is much better.

Having a baby is hard enough, raising one is even harder. She's a child.

Taylor22 · 07/11/2018 07:58

How is a 14 year old who has to be in full time education until 18 going to afford nursery? That would be over £1K a month!
How is she going to afford nappies? Clothes? I'd tell her realistically she'd have to BF because how is she going to afford formula? How is she going to get all of her homework done and parent a child. Does she understand that as the father is so young she probably won't get any money off him.
How does she think she will cope with sleep regression and getting up and being in school by 8am?
How will she juggle school and Drs appointments?
How will she get the baby to the nursery and then herself to school on time if she can't drive?

wewillrememberthem · 07/11/2018 07:59

Whatever the outcome you are dealing with it in a very calm way OP. You sound like a great mum.

Taylor22 · 07/11/2018 08:00

I don't think it's calm. I think it's avoidance.

DistanceCall · 07/11/2018 08:09

I don't think it's calm. I think it's avoidance.

Yep.

OP, you believe that your daughter is pregnant. If she is, every day may count when it comes to making a decision.

She is a child. You are her mother. FFS, get a grip and take charge of the situation.

dogsdinnerlady · 07/11/2018 08:13

Surely if there is a pregnancy there is legally a sexual offence as girl is underage. Haven't read all posts but how old is BF?

ShadowHuntress · 07/11/2018 08:14

Taylor22
From the sounds of it, the OP seems more than happy to take over these responsibilities for her daughter. She seems almost excited at the prospect of her 14 year daughter being pregnant Hmm

NorthernRunner · 07/11/2018 08:14

dogs I think I read no current boyfriend but previous one was 15

DistanceCall · 07/11/2018 08:17

Surely if there is a pregnancy there is legally a sexual offence as girl is underage.

If the boy is more or less her age, it's not.

Witchesbritches · 07/11/2018 08:18

KittyLane1 Wed 07-Nov-18 07:33:42. MN is weird sometimes. On one thread you will get a group of posters saying 14 is too young to get a piercing or dye their hair or have a Saturday job.On another thread, 14 is absolutely a good age to create and maintain a human life and in fact it will make her a very successful manager in 10 years timeHmm

You do understand that ‘MN’ is made up of a LOT of different people, it’s not something capable of its own thoughts?

Different posters reply to different posts ‍🤷🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

Name ONE poster who said it was ‘absolutely a good age’.

That’s right nobody. No one is suggesting it’s a fabulous plan, only that it CAN work out ok if it does happen. It’s 2018, most decent human beings realise it’s inhumane to FORCE someone to have a termination, even if that person is very young. Girls/women forced into a termination they really do not want, frequently get pregnant again soon after. The worst of both worlds - a lifetime of dealing with a termination against their wishes AND yet still baby to raise in a situation where there is no suppoort for her.

MyOtherProfile · 07/11/2018 08:19

She seems almost excited at the prospect of her 14 year daughter being pregnant

No she doesn't. It's far to easy to imagine all sorts of responses from reading a few sentences.

IceRebel · 07/11/2018 08:22

I don't think it's calm. I think it's avoidance.

Agreed. OP whilst I think it's great that you want to be supportive if she really is pregnant then things need sorting urgently, a week may not seem like a long time but it another 7 days:

  • Without folic acid and other vitamins
  • Without GP / Midwife input
  • Having to hide sickness from you
  • Carrying on with school whilst dealing with tiredness, and other symptoms
  • Eating food she shouldn't be
  • Having to deal with it on her own.