talk me down! dd(14) poss pregnant

[dawnc27]

just moved dds school bag of the settee and a bit of papers slid out, on it it says a due date, possible names and names of godparents.
now this wouldnt normally phase me as id just think it was teenage rambling EXCEPT..... ive been asking myself when shes next due on, as we have been away for 2 weeks and back now around 10 days and shes not been on during that time which got me thinking back to when i last bought her any pads and tbh i cant remember. im thinking around july time which would tie in with the due date wrote down.
shes out at the moment which may be a good thing as i dont know what the fuck to do now!!
please help me by giving some advice

My bet is that she's on the pill which is why she hasn't has had a period.

notta I agree I have been very open with both my DDs and I think it made a difference...you have to be real .. having sex means a potential child are you ready for that?

you sound level headed but just to add you dont really havce time to take it slow the longer its left the less choices she has

a gp wont force her to take a test they cant but i guess she will have fessed up by then

OP you're handling this really well. Hope she isn't pregnant.

If she is pregnant then she needs to start medical care now and prenatal vitamins etc, if she’s keeping it. There’s being supportive ve and then there’s being a doormat.

Get a test done, get an answer and then support the hell out of her but don’t wait.

Odd thread.

OP - yes you could have had that chat with her and yes it is important but when do most teenagers really listen to their parents? If she is pregnant, don't fully blame it on you not having the chat.

If it were me at that age and my Mum thought I was pregnant, I would have taken the test just to prove her wrong.

You sound like a lovely supporting Mum, go with your gut instinct. You know your daughter and you'll know how best to deal with this with her.

Blimy, I wish you were my mum growing up!

Sorry you've had no real clarity OP.

You sound like you are doing the sensible thing here. You've opened communications and she is aware that you have suspicions. Hopefully by not kicking off, she'll feel able to come to you as and when she is ready.

I'd be insisting she takes the test, but I don't have a 14yo DD, so I would trust your judgement a lot more than mine OP.

why is it an odd thread nomud?

If you pressure her to take the test she may dig her heels in and shut down all conversation about it. You’ve done the right thing OP, you’ve opened the conversation and you’ve left it open so she knows it on the table and can pick it up with you when she feels ready. You’ve decided on bringing her to the GP next week. You’re doing all the right things. If she is pregnant She may well tell you within the week. Keep the channels of communication open and as hard as if might be, don’t appear shocked by anything she tells you. That’s the fastest way to get her to clam up.

You sound like an absolutely lovely mum OP, I hope I am as gentle and understanding with my daughter as she grows up.

Complications in teen pregnancies is particularly high because their young bodies cannot cope with it.
I suggest you make a doctors app asap.

Sorry you are going through this.

Another one who thinks you should get her to do the test.

Then one way or another you have your answer and can get her the help she needs.

Good luck

That’s hilarious.There speaks a parent who is so naive they genuinely have no idea of what their child is up to and what’s even worse is that they clearly believe it
OP - yes you could have had that chat with her and yes it is important but when do most teenagers really listen to their parents?

Hate this lazy type of parenting. Sit back and whatever happens happens because teenager. No different to the 'boys will be boys' method of parenting.
It really isn't hard to push protection, encourage respect for self and partner and ensure they truly understand the consequences. You CAN teach and guide children/teens to make good and responsible choices. it's not about being a 'perfect parent' It's about encouraging them to reach higher than a fucking change table. I feel nothing but sadness for those teens who don't have that self belief and see parenthood as a valid option.The choice of a child to have a child does nothing but show just how immature they are.
Sometimes I get the feeling that many mothers are almost hopeful for another baby to raise so brush off such stupidity as teenagers just being teenagers.

Hope your OK op x

OP for what it’s worth I think you sound like a lovely Mum who is handling things just right for now.
I hope it all comes to nothing, but I wish I’d had a Mum like you.

@CJsGoldfish - that's not what I was really trying to say.

What I am trying to say is teenagers don't always listen to what their parents say. My friends at that age knew all about contraception, about falling pregnant, about STI's. They knew that should be using condoms, they had 'the chat' with their parents and some of them still fell pregnant.

I never had the chat with my Mum, and neither did my sister. I learnt about contraception at school and neither of us fell pregnant during our teenager years or even early 20's.

The OP was feeling about about not having the chat and all I was trying to say was that even if she had done it, it may have not made a difference. I wasn't saying teenagers shouldn't be talked too and left to get on with whatever they want.

Yes, chat should have been done - no harm in having the chat at all however it might not have changed anything.

I'm rambling now and probably repeating myself so I apologise for that.

You sound like a lovey mum, OP. At the end of the day, there are much worse things in life than a new baby. Life goes on and if she chooses to keep the baby, there is nothing to say that she won't go to uni or college one day. Just keep giving her every opportunity to tell you and maybe schedule a doctors appointment for next week to discuss contraception if she hasn't said anything by then. Wishing you both all the best.

Hate this lazy type of parenting. Sit back and whatever happens happens...erm no...but what do you think OP should do? You can push all you want to some children it doesn't mean they will listen and not make mistakes...you really think some mothers want this fir themselves and their daughters?

Dear God you’re patient. I think you’re doing the right thing, leaving it until tomorrow isn’t going to change the outcome or her options, but it will give her some time to think before you talk again. I wouldn’t get a wink of sleep though and I’d probably insist on her peeing on a stick —in front of me— tomorrow (because as a teen I’d have run it under the tap instead).

You sound great. Hope it all works out for you and dd.