Are your pets employed?

[LadyL0velyLocks]

And if so, what are their jobs? After a couple of unexpected surgeries we decided that it was high time for our sheltie to contribute to the family purse.

His first business venture was selling artisan wood chips chewed from locally foraged wood. Unfortunately this didn’t take off. He was keen to dip a paw into dog modelling but despite his luxurious coat his lack of bottom teeth really held him back. His latest foray is a late night discotheque that he operates out of the bathroom after we have gone to bed. Too soon to know how this venture is going to work out long term.

My cat often helps dh in his office. He likes to think he is the CEO of Cat Towers inc.
The employees often don’t show him the respect he feels he deserves as they find him lazy (he sleeps a lot, says he is busy dreaming up ideas) and often drops everything to run outside and chase some birds.

He doesn’t make much money unfortunately. Brings in a few worms a week but I struggle to sell these.

Very cute though

@Horace He is gorgeous and full of wonderful ideas I’m sure. Teddy would love to go to work with his DF but sadly he doesn’t have a suit, and DH’s office is very corporate.

The Bunz is a certified fireplace tester, neighbourhood watch cat, and sofa warmer. That’s a lot of talent. To keep him humble I tell him he’s purely ornamental.

Weatherman. Today has mainly be spent running from door to window to door mewing Fuck me it's still raining!

Or perhaps thermostat as last night was spent examining all radiators and underfloor pipes to find the exact hottest spot in the house.

Bodyguard, hot water bottle and chief Sniffer-outerer. She's also interested in the job of keeping me from being poisoned by tasting all my food - a mediaeval Kings did I think.

This is her guarding me while I'm in the bath even though she's snoozing on duty - apparently I'm not in any danger. And another of her checking on me in bed. I have no idea how I lived before without a bodyguard.

My pets are chief dinner finisher offers. Their job title is waste management. Nothing goes to waste in his house.

Neighbourhood watch, but as he can’t talk it’s not really worth much.

Great, all worthwhile career paths so far. I feel that Teddy is lacking some crucial skills - I was hoping that like @florries cats he would take up a role in waste management now that the baby is weaning. Very miffed to find that unless it’s chicken he’s not interested.

My dog is our personal trainer, she is great at harassing you to get up and exercise. Very enthusiastic and annoyingly bouncy with lovely glossy hair. She should probably be on instagram.

Girlcat is Keeper of the Cables while DH works. She is also Tester of the Keyboard and Drinker of the Tea. She's very busy.

Mine ran away and joined the circus. It was about 4 years ago now, haven't seen him since

Chief housefly killer & disposal device.

Ours is very flexible. He can be a nurse, doctor, nanny or teacher depending on what is needed at the time. He is a ridiculous guard dog though as he likes everyone.

My female cat is a spy, she mostly spies on my DH and tells tales about him.
The male cat has been recently been working for a bean bag company. From what I understand he is in a prolonged testing product suitability phase at the moment. He has been lying on it solidly for a week, only leaving it to go the loo or eat.

LaurieFairyCake love that wet nose!!

Director of cuddles

She nudges my leg a lot with that nose if I'm holding something she likes (a biscuit) :))

DDog is a twice a day clock. I am informed that it is 9am and 5pm daily. She is paid in food for each effort.

Chaperones.
Any (wanted) male attention towards me (off DH) is swiftly dealt with.
They have to sit in the middle of us, hugs become group hugs, they go from fast asleep to the top of the stairs in a nano second if they suspect any amorous behaviour.

@sockportal I think your male cat has my dream job

Unfortunately I have one box-destroyer and one box-preserver. Competing businesscats with a limited supply of boxes. The Destroyer branches out into wallpaper, upholstery, bags (plastic/paper/canvas) and even skin if his demands for rapturous attention are not met. The box-preserver is a great public speaker, delivering oratorios with great feeling.

Ddog is training me to hone my detective skills. He pisses somewhere in the house and then pulls this face so I know I need to seek it out.

DCollie has a long list of self appointed dog-jobs. Keeping tabs on next doors cat and biting the kitchen door handle when she hears someone say they are going/coming /leaving /getting/fetching etc. She has an excellent vocabulary for such an annoying animal.

Our cat is a Hunter/Gatherer and is responsible for feeding the whole family. When I get up in the morning I collect up his night time hunt delivery and cook it up for breakfast.

It's usually Mouse or Vole which are nice but a bit repetitive. However we do sometimes get treated to Frog, Pigeon or Rat - he makes a start with the preparation by removing their heads which can be helpful but if he gets us anything with feathers I'd rather he left them to me as he makes a right mess on the carpet when he tries to pluck them.

My DCs (dearest cats) operate a very effective wake up service. It occurs every fucking morning between 5-8am, and consists of one scratching at my bedroom curtains to wake me up, or the other one loudly purring and sitting on my head! It’s very effective! 🙄