Are your pets employed?

[LadyL0velyLocks]

And if so, what are their jobs? After a couple of unexpected surgeries we decided that it was high time for our sheltie to contribute to the family purse.

His first business venture was selling artisan wood chips chewed from locally foraged wood. Unfortunately this didn’t take off. He was keen to dip a paw into dog modelling but despite his luxurious coat his lack of bottom teeth really held him back. His latest foray is a late night discotheque that he operates out of the bathroom after we have gone to bed. Too soon to know how this venture is going to work out long term.

My boy cat is bathroom mat. We think he's part Maine Coon (although he was a stray) as he loves lying on the shower floor after the humans have finished and soaking up the water with his long fur.

He is also watch cat. He sits at the bottom of the drive and waits for his humans to come back from school and work. When he sees them he guides them to the front door with the pale underside of his tail. This can be faintly irritating if you're in the car and going slightly slower than cat pace, but the thought is kind.

Our NDNs dcat works for multiple employers, including us. (She seems to visit a few people on the estate, we checked with NDN before giving her treats.)

While in our employment she:

Keeps laptop warm (while warming herself on said laptop),
Is guardian of the treats cupboard (while waiting for said treats to come out of the cupboard),
Is treats provider, usually small and furry (once feathery) and at night. They are generally still breathing and releasable, when released she still looks for them where she left them in the house!
Is also a very good spider eaterer, she can visit as often as she likes if she will continue doing this.
Dietician - had about one third of my chicken last night, but she had to do without treats.

She also works for youngest ds as a co-conspirator in not doing homework. Ds provides a homework book and cat sits on it. (Also helps older dcs avoid their on-line homework when warming her butt on laptop.) Hmmmm, multi-tasking cat.

Mine is a Venus fly trap

My Teddy does the laundry (here he is carrying the ball for the liquid - he is never off duty - so conscientious)
He is also my body guard and will warn me whenever a member of the brush or bag family gets too close and I am in danger. (He will, at his bravest, tackle rogue toilet rolls if one of them has managed to sneak into the bathroom)

Alarm clock (mornings only, but 7 days a week including bank holidays)
Time keeper (Always alerts me as to when her dinner should be served - though tends to run a bit fast)
Road block (rather large one)
Food taster (always on call - very dedicated)
Personal Trainer (watches as we throw the ball and then retrieve it for her)
Housework co-coordinator (ensures all jobs are completed on a constant rota and will drop hair/leave smudge marks on windows/bring in dirt and various other debris all day every day to keep standards high)

My cats definitely have jobs. As I work from home, they supervise me and are always very keen to sit on my paperwork. They are also willing quality control testers of any meat that I cook for Daddy (my plates are far less interesting as I'm a veggie).

Every trip to the loo is also supervised; get a cat, never pee alone again.

our cats are radiator effectiveness testers. They routinely pull the clean washing down and lay in it, just to make sure that the radiators are doing their job correctly.

Mine is the office supervisor. She doesn’t allow you a moment to rest... as you can see here!!

VillanellesProudMum

Wow! How old is your girl (mines is two - Birthday is 17th July). Wouldn't it be amazing if they were litter mates :)

My cat is a social worker/befriender. He visits people around the neighbourhood and allows them to make a fuss of him and give him snacks.
If he feels he needs a performance review, he comes home and regurgitates the snacks so I can check that they look very different to the boring food he gets at home.
He provides comfort to the lonely students next door by inviting himself in, demanding strokes and advising them how to play the Xbox. (He thinks I'm not aware of this aspect of his voluntary work, he's too modest to tell me, but I've seen him through their windows)

Behavioural psychologist.

Quote from DS2: "Dogs have trainers. Cats have trainees."

My cat has a few jobs, none of them are actually lucrative though!
Official drinks tester-no glass is safe...
Neighbourhood goings-on observer-she's a curtain twitcher in a cat's body...
Chief important paper sitterer-a full time job in itself!
Here she is in spy mode...

DCat wants to point out that being a SAHC is just as hard work as a so-called paid job.

Ducat is a lazy bugger but I do know of two working cats.
One is black and white, named Domino, and is doorman at the local Spar, where she sits by the entrance enjoying a fuss from everyone going in and out. Presumably she is ready and waiting to chase any shoplifters.
The other, also black and white but called Elsa, provides relaxation therapy by snoozing on a chair in the cahms (child and adolescent mental health service) waiting room, where everyone fusses her, ignoring the notices saying please do not stroke the cat. 😺

I have a watch parrot,her job is to warn of all intruders,calls if there's a "bird down" among her smaller companions.i.e small fat budgie on floor or zoomed into bathroom, please rescue! If really anxious in defense of the lesser members of the flock ,she bites.Oi, that was the pet sitter !
The smaller parrot is a would- be handyman, loves any workman with a box of tools".Ooh! He's got a drill,can I get my beak right there and feel the vibes?" "No! The joiner is terrified of birds,get out of his toolbox."
Her absolute best machine was a combine harvester driving a couple of meters from the window.Her whole attitude was"Wow! Can I drive one?She has to make do with hanging offvthe hoover, while her bigger pal shrieks warnings along the "We're doomed! It will all end in tears" type.

Olivander I've never seen a cat look so lovingly at their human!

Mr Tibbs was a porn star to the end.

Long live Officer Tibbs (his porn star alias)

Previous DDog had a business selling reclaimed golf balls from our town's multiple golf courses - all rescued from the depths of the prickliest bushes.

FairfaxDog is an athlete.

I have two female middle aged guinea pigs. One of them has a very loud and shrill squeak and loves to use it at any given opportunity. I often say that if Guinea Pigs had Parliament, she would be the Commons "Squeaker". She always has plenty to say!!

The other piggie is a Treat Alarm- she always is aware of the fridge door opening, and whether Mummy is going to go out (Of course, that means Mummy is going to pick dandelions!) She keeps careful tabs on whether Mummy goes into kitchen or not and starts up the anticipatory "whee whee whee", getting louder and more like a siren the nearer Mummy gets to the fridge or the door or the kitchen door.

Winifred has taken early retirement but she does enjoy going to her WI meetings and doing the flowers for the local Church.

Willow is a tear away teenager who does a few hours in the local corner shop but keeps nicking fags and tic tabs

This cat is a guard at Waitrose.

My dog was (passed a few months ago) a stone collector, his business included diving under water to find large lost stones, carting stones across fields and splashing in to the sea to retrieve lost stones. Sh3n I say stones I mean large boulders.

Our cocker spaniel is the village hedge patroller, and likes to rid them all of burrs and thorns. He's highly effective at it.

My job is being the mug that spends an hour a day in turn removing them from his tail and ears

He also has to inspect our bed for at least an hour before we get in it at night, to check for landmines and explosive devices buried deep in the mattress.... this involves digging through the bedding, rucking it all up into a heap in the middle and lying on top of it. He's at the top of his game.

Dog is a personal assistant, involving staying as close as possible to me, oe jumping off his bed as soon as i twitch to see what i want.

He is also an excellent mouser.

Cat, otoh, had a previous job as a kitten production unit. Now she is getting used to houses and has never learned any cat skills, she is officially a lady of leisure. She is currently learning about these things called radiators, and closely studying them.

We keep telling Matey Dog that he needs to go out and get a proper job but he seems to.think he is already fully employed and as he is pretty much at retirement age you can't really argue.
Main daily tasks are alarm clock and household timekeeper. Unfortunately his clock is difficult to adjust but operates incredibly accurately around meal times and walkies.
In between mealtimes and walkies he makes sure the sofa is nice and warm for us to sit on and that the floor is cleaned of any crumbs.
He is the official security guard but usually only spots the intruder when they ring the bell.
He used to be chief rabbit controller but now he has some sort of protection racket going and he leaves them to frolic on the lawn unharmed.
All in all pretty useless at anything except loving his mummy which pretty much makes up for anything else.

My bearded dragon... Ummm... Uhh...kind of... Nup, nothing. He does nothing. And yet he has me constantly running about, trying to please him.