My dh died this afternoon. Please hold my hand through this.

[DeadZed]

We have four distraught dc. the police are still here. I don't know what to say to people. I don't know what to ask when they offer to help.

Tell some people to come sit with you.

I'm so very sorry

I'm so sorry xx

💐so sorry x

So very sorry to hear this. No advice. Take offers of help if you want them.

So sorry to hear this has happened.

When you are up to it - or get a friend - let the children's school know so they will have support there.

Take up friend's offers of help if it would help (or leave it if it won't) though some people do make offers just to be polite, a lot will genuinely want to - maybe someone could have playdates with your DCs, someone could help shop, someone be with you, someone help clean, someone help with the paperwork.

Oh gosh how sad, sorry you’re going through this as a family
Get a good friend to screen calls,take messages,help with all the tasks
As much as you can try maintain some routine and order,to structure your day
Make a list of what needs done,get your friend to help
Don’t feel pressured into doing anything or seeing people,it’s about you and the kids

I'm so sorry

I am so sorry, have been in the same situation. It is not something I would wish on anyone. Handhold from me.

So sorry 💐

Oh, I'm so sorry. I hope you get all the support you and the children need.

That’s kind Plain Vanilla,and yes directly experience of this is ghastly

My deepest sympathy to you and your children (and your husband’s parents and siblings too).

I don’t know if you will see this post or not, but here is a link to a British charity which helps bereaved children and there is a short video in the link:

www.winstonswish.org

Sending you big ((((((hugs)))))) from the USA

I'm so sorry Zed. You must be in complete shock. Lots of good advice. You and the children are number 1 now for the foreseeable future xx

So sorry for your terrible loss, op. Another hand to hold you.

So sorry

What a terrible shock. So many people are thinking of you and I am sure even more around you will want to help in any way they can, so do let them.

I'm so sorry

You poor girl - I am so very sorry. I will hold you and your family in my thoughts for the coming days and weeks. Wish there was more I could say to take away the shock and pain.

I'm so sorry, DZ .

I'm so sorry.

I'd also like to recommend Winston's Wish.

Let school know, year tutors and pastoral support
Let your employer know
Write to bank,building society.
Who’ll liaise with DH family,and employer
Some insurance policies will pay out check the policy clauses

Have my hands to hold too. OP so many of us are thinking of you. Use this space to ask to rant, to get good advice from us all, whatever we can do. Our dad died when me and my sister were young. Such a massive shock for all of you. As others have said - there are no rules about grief. You may feel angry and disbelieving or just plain numb. Its not a straight line from a to b.

Keeping a routine is good advice to offer some structure to what feels like free falling. Hold you children close, sleep together or allow space, whatever anyone needs. When you are 'ready' (who is ever ready?)there are lists online of what admin needs to be done, get good organisers to help and make sure any joint money not frozen.

Delegate jobs. People will be glad to help you.

I am really sorry. It's still too raw for me to say more than that.

Can I suggest that you have someone look at the Bereavement Support Payment for you because the last thing you want to be worrying about is money. This was the only money I received before I had to pay for the funeral, they made the lump sum payment in two weeks. I had savings but if I hadn't I would have been living on fresh air until the pension companies got everything turned around.

www.gov.uk/bereavement-support-payment