Uncomfortable realisations about yourself

[Casperandme]

I've had a couple of these recently, things I've realised about myself that are uncomfortable but at the same time things I wish I'd realised many years earlier.

In particular:

• there are all of these altruistic things I think I want to do one day but it's all bullshit, I don't actually want to, I just fancy myself the sort of person that would want to if that makes sense.
• I'm a gossip and I need to stop.

What are yours?

Oh, and yes to PP. I'm a sucker for shadenfreud - I'm always there for my friends but I get this sick sort of satisfaction when things go tits up for other people? It's bizarre.

I nick my DH's best anecdotes and jokes and claim them as my own - and I sometimes actually believe they are mine and get really self righteous when he calls me out on it.

I laugh like Eddie Murphy.

I look 10 years older than I am, so I strategically dress 10 years older than that, in the hope people I meet will think I am a young looking 60 rather than a haggard 41.

What an awful thread!!!I hate reading everyone beating themselves up like this. One bad point maybe, but writing out whole lists of them?? That's not healthy. How about everyone lists three things they like about themselves instead? That would make much nicer reading.

These threads about why people self isolate have helped me understand a couple of people in my life better

That as a woman in my mid 40s, I have become sidelined and overlooked at work, despite being chartered in my field, with 20 years experience.

That I am a much shoutier parent that I am comfortable with.

Nah, irregular, we're fine thanks

The flowers and sunshine is thatta way >>>>

Oh just found a new one.

Sometimes I find pollyannish people deeply annoying and want to club them repeatedly with a full tube of tennis balls until they just calm the f down.

I like this thread, if you don't like it don't read it.

Most of the answers are just fine. Some read as very self destructive.

Let's just say it's not been a great week (understatement of the century actually. about as bad as it gets) and the self destructive stuff made me sad.

I'll take you advice and find some hearts and flowers as that's what I need right now!

That as a woman in my mid 40s, I have become sidelined and overlooked at work, despite being chartered in my field, with 20 years experience.

Have you considered starting an independent contracting business. Seems to be the go to solution to ageism in a lot of fields.

I am comfortable with my various shortcomings

But that doesn't mean I'm going to admit any of them 🤣😂😋

DieAnt it has crossed my mind. Contracting is virtually unheard of if my area of expertise, but I will probably join DH’s company (same field) once we have paid of the loan we took out to buy his partnership in a few years time. Lots of ass kicking to fo in the way though. This realisation only dawned on me last week.

I trust absolutely no one.
My environment is very controlled.

I hate socialising.
I can’t be bothered to maintain friendships.
I’m over weight but afraid to diet in case I become anorexic due my controlling habits.
I like to get my own way to reduce my anxiety.
I’m lazy but due to my very tidy home & my neat appearance I get away with it.
God I could go on forever....

I dumped a friend because she had so much good fortune it irritated me.

I'm howling at this. Reading this thread is like looking in a mirror. Budge up and make room for another lazy, cynical, judgemental, unsociable gossip monger

I never do anything I don't want to. I don't know if this is down to selfishness or laziness.
I just can't be bothered pretending to like people if I don't - perhaps I can be rude
I love gossip - not a good trait at all
I'm a bit of a drama queen
Chronically indecisive - I never know what decision to make about anything and if I make a decision I always think I've made the wrong one
I table change constantly in restaurants
I can be judgemental
I like to have my own way
I don't speak out when I disagree with people in a social situation if it's contentious.

Let's give ourselves some credit. Being irredeemably antisocial as well as nosy and a gossip isn't easy.

Been married twice.
But not to the person I have always loved.

This thread is brilliant !

The sound of someone using crutches really gets on my tits.

This made me laugh a lot 

I've got loads of faults. I keep saying I must stop moaning about people but I love it 
There's someone I work with who isn't pulling her weight and everyone is moaning about her. I like to start it up again if the moaning stops!
I'm manipulative at times. I'm aloof and only speak to people who I think are worth my time. I know I come across as unfriendly.
I don't trust people to do things properly and expect the worst.
I'm addicted to my phone.
I will go on about my day to DP but switch off when he tells me about his.
I'm bored now so stopping here!

Everyone worried about how they might have upset that friend who's not talking to them should read this thread. To understand the friend's shortcomings, not their own.

I can tend to be obsessive & it has sadly lost me friends in the past. Some of it is I think connected to my general anxiety.
I have an addictive personality ( going through a tough time at the moment & have actually bought wine, which I feel horrendously guilty about. I haven’t touched alcohol for several years)
I am usually gentle & calm but it horrifies me just how angry I can get with DD. My Dad is one of the loveliest men I know but he used to really lose it with me when I was a child so maybe I’m more like him than I thought.

I self-isolate too. I need time alone and it’s hard to get enough of it, so friendships suffer. I sometimes become friendly with someone and then decide they are needy or irritating and back off because I just can’t add any more social duty to my life.

I’m socially awkward and in new social situations I sometimes overcompensate by being loud or silly and I hate it, so I just avoid it.

I really dislike a lot of children apart from my own. (blush) I sometimes have to stop myself saying sarcastic things to my dc friends.

I cant stand boring chit chat conversations in the playground and hide or go round a different way to avoid people.

I get really irritated by slow people in front of me, non-feminists, irrational people and dimwitted teachers. I’m basically a judgemental old cow.

I think it’s interesting how many people on this thread feel they have problems socially. I think it’s much, much more common than we think and a lot of people, maybe most, struggle with social interaction in one way or another even if they appear to be ok at it. I wish we could be more open about that in RL.

I'm a shit stirrer, I'm usually the cause of any drama.

I say hateful things that I don't even mean, but enjoy saying them to make me look cold hearted.

I'm overweight, I want to loose weight and be healthy for my daughter/any future children/pregnancies but I just can't do it and I feel terribly selfish.

Although I don’t think we should be down on ourselves or beat ourselves up all the time, I like this thread because it makes me feel better.

As I’m socially awkward, I tend to assume everyone else is much better at it than me and that I’m a shameful failure. If I know that lots of other people also find socialising stressful and can’t always be bothered with keeping up friendships, that takes some pressure off.

This thread is really unsettling and also really interesting.

I feel superior to lots of people because I think I’m more intelligent than them. I think I manage to hide this but I’m not convinced that I always do.

I feel irritated when other people’s children do better than mine, even if it’s well justified. I hide this too.

I could happily spend the whole day reading instead of achieving anything. I kid myself that this is an intellectual pursuit but in reality it’s just laziness.

I am also quite vain and spend a lot of time trying to make it look like I have made no effort.