Uncomfortable realisations about yourself

[Casperandme]

I've had a couple of these recently, things I've realised about myself that are uncomfortable but at the same time things I wish I'd realised many years earlier.

In particular:

• there are all of these altruistic things I think I want to do one day but it's all bullshit, I don't actually want to, I just fancy myself the sort of person that would want to if that makes sense.
• I'm a gossip and I need to stop.

What are yours?

I have no friends. I have been ditched by so many friends (and some family) that i don't bother trying to make any new ones. This has made me a bit weird as i have noone to talk to about anything.

I try to hard to please people and end up being treated like dirt.

I have a hard time controlling my emotions as they are so intense

I nag.
I interrupt.
I gossip.
I sulk.
I put my put my foot in it, far too often.
I over analyse what I’ve said.

My sister has a personality disorder. Having spent most of my life suffering because she scapegoated me and her husband and manipulated my parents into believing she was constantly wronged, I take malicious pleasure now that my parents are dead in pointing out all the ridiculous deceits she lives by.

Nanalisa60 in relation to weeing in the shower - are you new to MN?

I'm ageing better than my peers and now I resent Botox because they look as good as I do naturally. Bitches.

I’m a bit envious of my friends who had the foresight and energy to have Botox in their 30s, having previously (to myself) been dismissive of their vanity.

Another one..

I'm shocked and embarrassed by the fact I am so scared of numbers!
I literally cannot add up and do basic arithmetic most probably taught in year 3. And it's not the fact we are now so used to using calculators as even with a calculator I struggle with the basics. I also can't estimate/process distances in my head and if someone was to ask me how far something was away from me, I wouldn't have a clue!
Amazingly, I worked for a bank for 7 years.

I wee in the shower too and very rarely take my make up off at night.

Lol

I'm lazy, I can be a know-it-all, I'm not that funny, I'm co-dependent massively, I'm judgemental and have quite high standards for other people, I'm moany, I'm boring socially.

Love this thread! Xx

I interrupt and talk over people. I one up their stories with my better stories.

I'm weirdly obsessed with money. I do sums in my head all the time, how much I have, how much I'm getting, etc. I don't share this side of myself with others but only because it's not done.

I do kind things all the time, but sometimes it's because I want to be a kind person, not because I actually am kind.

I'm older and fatter than I think I am. This years holiday photos just weren't me. Everybody knows I'm hot, young and slim.

Every single kind thing I have ever done is because I want to believe myself a kind person and not because I actually had deep inner desires to pour out my self sacrificial love and compassion upon my fellows.

I think that most people follow the crowd and don’t care enough about animals.
I worry too much about animals that I can’t do anything about and I end up trying to save everything.

I don’t like my sister, she is a religious hypocrite. I judge religious people.

I get furious with people who judge me for sending one of my dd to a private school.
I am so incredibly sad that one of my dd has a disability and I refuse to join any of the support groups. I hate the people in the support groups because I can’t accept my dd has a disability.

This thread has made me a bit more aware of why people act the way that they do.

I spend too much time on my phone some days

I think I'm stupid sometimes despite being a doctor !!

I go for older, unattractive men as I feel I deserve much less

I'm pretty
Tall
Good figure
Studied at a world class university

Do not know why I have allowed so many people in life to abuse me

Oh and reading this thread has reminded me that my grandmother was abusive to my dad and siblings so now I see that maybe this is why I have tolerated many forms of abuse down through the years

I am thankful I am not selfish
I care
Rarely bitch - thankfully

I'm very lazy and use my back problem as an excuse to lay down and rest

I don't really like being a parent to a toddler. I love my son unconditionally but it's not often I enjoy parenting.

I am selfish and like time on my own but also crave time with others

I’m terrible for cancelling plans if I’m having a day I want to be alone, sometimes I just wake up feeling that way I will cancel, the only people I want to spend time with on them days are my children.

I talk way to fast sometimes need to slow down

I was in a very abusive relationship and now I’m either all or nothing with relationships great at the beginning and then i don’t work at them when things go bad thats just me done.

Ooh another one...

I can’t not be told there is something i can not do, for example ex partner told me I’d never be able to pass as an accountant I went and done it, don’t work in it though not much interest in it.

Another time he told me I’d never be able to lay flooring, done it also installed and new bathroom etc etc I can not be TOLD I can’t do something or achieve something something clicks in me and I have to prove them wrong

I drink too much tea.
I give too much of myself to others.
I will say I have a headache if I can't be bothered with it - people, events, commitments, work - anything.
I spend too much time stroking my cat and not getting on with housework because I pretend stroking the cat is more important than having a clean house.
Eating too much meat when I feel bad for poor animal conditions.
I have a cat but still eat meat - contradiction.
I don't know what to think about the whole trans debate and I feel I should.
I always leave my toenails till they are too long before cutting them.
I'm addicted to Eastenders.

@MorrisZapp I do that too. I interrupt and talk over people and I probably always have but I'm only just realising how incredibly rude it is. It's not great.

Given the right circumstances I am very competitive and won’t be beaten. I am like a heat seeking missile.

I HAVE NO PATIENCE.

Did not mean to uppercase!

I don’t get in touch with friends but still feel left out if I see them chatting or posting on FB about nights out.

I am a terrible communicator.

I repeat relationship patterns and run away rather than deal with issues.

I am addicted to my phone

I could have made the career I wanted if I’d bothered trying instead of giving up because I was bored.

Very concerned with some postings on this thread, please contact me directly if you think you are on the Autism Spectrum. I am an Autism professional with expertise on girls and women’s presentations.

I've always been overweight and probably always will be.

My medical condition means I won't reach anywhere near my potential and I'm nowhere near coming to terms with that yet.

This is a great thread
thank you everyone for sharing
I'm really rather mild
that's unexpected 😯😁

This is an excellent thread.
Here goes...

• I am lazy and cannot get motivated
• because of that I'm overweight and cannot be bothered to clean the house
• I don't work now due to ill health and that doesn't help
• I rely on my DH too much
• I spend too much time on my phone
• I'm very sad that I don't have a best friend, although I do have close friends
• I like reassurance and can be quite needy
• I suffer with depression which stops me socialising (although I use my other illness as an excuse)
• I can be secretive / sneaky
• I'm obsessed with money
• I eat and shop to try and feel better
• I can be jealous
• I get bored easily

I'm reduced to self identifying as a giraffe because my male friends believe that there's such thing as a women's penis and will support my right to live as a giraffe in a zoo with cis giraffes